Hey Doc, we got problems man I need to call command.
Hello?
Earth to Doc.
I mean this place to Doc.
Don't you wanna say hello to our new friend?
What?
Honk.
I don't... I ca.. I can't... I can't... I don't... this is...
Take your time, this a big moment
Blarg.
I can't deal with this right now.
Honk.
Shut up you're disgusting.
Doc what is Vic's number?
What for?
For reinforcements.
Wait, unless you've had like specialized combat training in the last ten minutes.
Er.. nope.
Then yeah reinforcements.
Well, I did just change a dirty diaper.
That doesn't count.
I don't know, it was a real doozy.
Number two.
Doc focus, Vic's number, what is it?
Come on Church, everybody remembers Vic's number
Didn't he ever teach you the song?
Oh right, Vic's jingle.
If you want to talk don't email
And don't you click click click click
Just call me up at 555-VICK
You know, it probably would've been more memorable if it rhymed.
Or if his name actually ended in a K
Oh music is a great way to learn things
That's how I studied for the MCAT.
You passed the MCAT?
Ha ha ha ha, not even close
But you should really hear my rendition of the Kelly Clarkson song, Miss Independent
It teaches you all about the lymphatic system.
Dom duh dom, lymphatic system
Hey, shut up I'm on the phone.
Honk.
And do me a favor, kill that fucking would you.
Blarg.
Hey dude.
Vic, hey it's Church
This is Vic at 555-VICK, doodly doo. I'm not in the casita right now, so leave your low down at the ding dong hasta.
Hey Vic, this is Church I need to...
You have reached the voice mail system.
Ugh... Okay okay come on.
To leave a message just wait for the tone.
I know how to leave a goddamn message.
When you are finished recording, just hang up or press pound for more options.
Really? Hang up? No shit.
I was just gonna keep talking until he decided to check his voice mail.
For delivery options press 5
JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BEEP!
To leave a callback number press 8
To page this person press 6
COME ON!
To repeat this message press 9
I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU COMPUTER PHONE LADY!
(Tap tap tap)
That tapping is gonna drive me insane.
We either need get Donut outta there or find a way to kill him.
Donut, can you please stop tapping?
We heard you.
You're crushed and you're in mortal danger, we get it.
I can feel the tapping in my brain.
Well I have to admit it, I'm stumped.
I have no idea how to get him out.
JESUS!
How long would it take him to starve to death?
When was the last time he ate?
Sarge, didn't you once tell me that you built self-destruct mechanisms into our armor?
Can't you just use Donut's?
No, sadly that's just you Grif.
Although I could activate yours if you'd like.
How would that help?
Well, the situation would be a little less annoying.
You want me to get the activation code sir?
Nah
The activation code is just, activation code.
Keep it simple.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
(Tap tap tap tap)
Oh my god, is it getting louder?
(Tap tap)
I bet the Blues don't have to put up with anything this annoying.
To mark this message as urgent press 11
THERE IS NO 11 YOU FUCKING WHORE!
Ooh language.
Men, it pains me as your leader to say this, but I think we need to admit defeat.
Years of experience on the battlefield and I've finally met my match.
I never thought I'd be beaten a ship.
A ship full of enemies maybe
But never just the ship itself.
Bravo ship, bravo.
Don't give up yet sir, I'm sure we can find a way to...
Ah Simmons it's hopeless, let's start assigning duties for our retreat.
Uh... sir
Simmons you can pack up all the toiletries and remaining MREs, but make sure not to mix 'em up.
Or we'll never be able to tell 'em apart again.
Sir, you really should turn around.
Sure, and give the ship a chance to rub it in, no dice.
Sir the doors open that means we won, another victory for the glorious Red army.
What?
I mean of course it is, looks like my plan worked
Chalk up another one in the win column for Sarge.
Hey who's that guy? Let's shoot him.