Excuse me, Mr. Schwarzenegger, can I have a word?
// We just want to talk to you about some of your films...
// Please, it'll only take a few minutes, I just wanted to say that... // ... this is
Movie Night!
Hello and welcome to Movie Night, I'm your host, Jonathan Paula.
Despite entering a new calendar month, we press on through Action Movie Month with a
five-pack of reviews dedicated to the biggest action star of them all, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Not only is he one of my favorite actors, seven of his films have already been featured
here on the show.
The body builder from Austria who defied the odds, and became a box-office mega star, and
eventually the Governor of California - we'll start with one of his earlier 80's hits, "Commando".
Released on October 4, 1985, this Mark L. Lester action film more than quintupled its
$10 million dollar budget.
Unraveling slowly over the course of 90 minutes, the R-rated story pits Arnold Schwarzenegger,
a retired Delta Force Operative - awesomely named Colonel John Matrix - against a forgettable
army of bad-guys who have kidnapped his daughter, Aylssa Milano.
Arnold escapes from a commercial airliner, and hunts down the bad guys throughout Los
Angeles, eventually bringing the action to a blisteringly over-the-top finale at the
enemy's tropical island stronghold.
Combining head-smashing fist fights with ridiculous gun-play, and hilariously memorable one-liners
like "I let him go", Lester is fully aware of his silly plot, and completely embraces
it.
One character even remarks on the absurd explosions and action, exclaiming, "I can't believe this
macho bullshit!".
This is the role the 7-time body-building champion was born to play, and despite murdering
without remorse, Schwarzenegger moves from scene to scene effortlessly, showing off his
impressive oiled up physique as often as possible.
Seeing the 6-foot-tall Austrian shirtless, firing a rocket launcher, snapping necks,
and jumping through windows is a true, mindless delight for all fans of awesome
action films.
While none of
their performances are awful, the supporting cast are entirely forgettable, especially
a one-dimensional villain that fails to liven up the weak and simplistic plot.
Likewise, the cinematography does very little to make downtown LA the least bit appealing
or exciting.
A really generic and cheesy soundtrack from James Horner keeps things fun during the fast-paced
adventure that oozes with campy laughs: even if some are unintentional.
When the body count approaches three-digits, it's honestly impossible not to smile at the
bloody carnage that just unfolded.
Unrealistic situations and plotholes run rampant, like how a single man is able to destroy an
entire island of trained mercenaries without receiving a scratch in return... or why murdering
a number of baddies in a shopping mall doesn't attract any lasting attention from law enforcement.
It all works though, and spectacularly so: because as far as stupid, bloody, explosive
action movies go?
"Commando" is "Entirely ridiculous but supremely entertaining."
Here's what you had to say in the comments section.
"Commando" on the rate-o-matic... a double EIGHT.
When you think of the quintessential "action" movie, this iconic Schwarzenegger vehicle
completely delivers, despite its many, and substantial flaws and short-comings.
We both scored it a GREAT.
Next up tonight, let's review "Predator".
A massive hit that produced two sequels, and two crossover films - this sci-fi action horror
film from director John McTiernan grossed nearly $100 million from its $15 million dollar
budget when it was released in June of 1987.
The original concept began as a "Rocky vs. E.T."
joke script for the yet unwritten fifth Rocky installment... which accidentally made its
way to 20th Century Fox, where it eventually became this memorable piece of 80's cinema.
Arnold Schwarzenegger leads a group of elite, wise-talking commandos deep in the central
American jungle as they're hunted by a vicious extra-terrestrial warrior.
The cast of brawny men, which includes two future governors, require only a grunt or
a point to devise a plan of attack.
Given the extreme physical nature of the adventure, Arnold does a fantastic job keeping his cool,
and looking like a bad-ass - especially when he gives co-star Carl Weathers the most epic
handshake in film history.
The rest of the group are largely disposable meatbags though, which is a welcome development,
as one of the soldiers never shuts up about his girlfriend's large vagina for some reason.
The fast-paced 107-minute film is supported by the familiar sounds of Alan Silvestri,
whose unrelenting score ties all of the high-stakes tension together.
Meanwhile, the titular villain is an enigmatic, heat-seeking monster, silently stalking his
prey with truly terrifying hunting abilities: matched only by his absolute bloodlust.
But the steadfast Schwarzenegger is quick to remind his team, "If it bleeds, we can
kill it."
The R-rated movie has plenty of awesome explosions and shoot-outs, but they're occasionally difficult
to follow, as many of the locations, and people, look so similar.
Although it shares a great deal of its narrative structure with a typical "slasher" film, there's
no shortage of iconic one-liners, which should keep action fans well entertained.
Things get the most interesting when Schwarzenegger goes into "Home Alone"-mode, and attempts
to defend his position with hastily made booby-traps, as he squares off against the alien.
Relying primarily on practical effects and stunt work, the small bit of visuals here
work well to keep you immersed in the somewhat believable story, but are hardly impressive
- looking more like a misapplied color-correction effect.
McTiernan however fills the 16:9 frame with a balanced selection of detailed close-ups,
and beautiful wide shots.
A simple and thrilling experience that never requires much of the viewer, this is an enjoyable
start to a re-watchable franchise.
"Predator", "Disposable plot with frightening creature".
Here are your thoughts from the YouTube comments.
"Predator" receives a NINE and a SEVEN on the rate-o-matic.
With many of you citing this a favorite - expertly blending horror, sci-fi, and action, you consider
it an AWESOME film.
Outside of its alien antagonist, the concept and execution here is rather conventional.
Some great set-pieces and corny dialogue make it a staple of any self-respecting action
library though, so I'm scoring it a COOL.
For tonight's poll question... which of Schwarzenneger's many movies is your favorite?
Bonus points if it isn't a Terminator film!
Leave your response as a comment below.
Third up tonight is "Kindergarten Cop".
Released just before Christmas in 1990, this Ivan Reitman film found remarkable success
blending action and comedy elements, eventually earning $185 million in profit from its small
$15-million dollar budget.
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a hard-nosed cop who goes undercover as a kindergarten
teacher in order to track down and capture a violent drug dealer.
After opening with a more action-oriented plot, the PG-13 rated story settles down to
a more convention family comedy, which sees Arnold humorously stuck in situations far
outside his character's comfort zone.
Especially when he annoyingly yells at the children, defending his headache by famously
shouting, "It's not a tumor!"
Although he made a name for himself starring in big budget action films, Schwarzenegger
is endlessly amusing and perfectly suited in comedy roles - as he single-handedly makes
this otherwise generic picture worth watching.
One scene sees the gruff police officer using law enforcement tactics on the children, to
trick them into behaving better, and the montage that results is fairly entertaining.
Richard Tyson is a bit melodramatic and over-the-top as the villain, but he's so damn creepy looking,
he manages to sell the part well enough.
Although the kids do a decent job bringing the laughs, the rest of the unfamiliar cast
is largely forgettable.
The always dependable Reitman does a great with the smaller emotional moments, but the
picture falls short with the larger action-oriented plot.
Filmed on-location in the beautiful seaside town of Astoria, Oregon - this 111 minute
film makes great use of its locations, but unfortunately drags a bit towards the middle.
Randy Edelman has contributed lots of great musical scores to films over the years, and
while this isn't his best work, it's plenty sufficient for the light-hearted comedy.
Bluntly examining the idea of not judging a book by its cover, this is a fun "fish out
of water" story that all Schwarzenegger fans should enjoy.
But it's not really worth checking out more than once.
"Kindergarten Cop", "Amusing premise, but ultimately average."
Now let's see what you had to say about this film.
A SEVEN and a FIVE for "Kindergarten Cop".
Despite its cheese, and lackluster script, there's no denying Schwarzenegger's comedic
abilities save this film - you thought it was COOL.
I definitely liked this film, but that hardly makes it a great film.
If it wasn't for Arnold, we'd probably never have heard of it.
I thought it was ALRIGHT.
Our fourth review tonight is for "The 6th Day".
Earning only $15 million in profit against its $82-million dollar budget, this science
fiction action thriller is not one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's more successful films, but
it's certainly an ambitious one.
Released in November of 2000, the Roger Spottiswoode film focuses on the ethical, moral, and practical
issues of human cloning, in a very idealized and exciting version of the near-future.
Schwarzenegger stars as a man who accidentally encounters his own clone, and stumbles into
a grand conspiracy involving corporations and duplicate humans.
In supporting roles there's Michael Rapaport as the unnecessarily goofy sidekick, Micheal
Rooker as a stringent henchmen, Sarah Wynter as a complaining lackey, and Robert Duvall
as the morally conflicted scientist behind it all.
The film's primary villain, a dastardly Tony Goldwyn, defends his duplicitous cloning techniques
by remarking, "We will have finally conquered death."
The high-concept plot is executed with wonderful special effects, seamlessly integrated into
the anamorphic frame - making all the scenes with two Arnold's that much more entertaining
and believable.
As Trevor Rabin's metallic, string-heavy scores echoes beneath each scene, the plot twists
and turns a bit more than required, resulting in a somewhat confusing 123-minute narrative,
at least on an initial viewing.
An early airplane chase sequence through the mountains of British Columbia is totally unnecessary,
but generally pretty thrilling; which is normally an appropriate metaphor for this type of picture.
This PG-13 movie however, is far from shallow blockbuster fluff, as it adeptly explores
themes of identity and fundamental human rights.
And while this deeper context isn't exactly handled with subtly, it is inherently, the
mark of all good science-fiction.
Evenly spaced throughout are inventive and believable action sequences that are a real
treat to watch unfold.
As evidenced by plenty of similar films we've already reviewed, I'm a sucker for futuristic
action thrillers, and this one absolutely delivers.
It's hardly perfect, and a bit long-winded, but it's a guilty pleasure I love watching
every couple years.
"The 6th Day", "Sci-fi action blend done right."
Now let's check some YouTube comments to see what you had to say about this film.
Our scores for "The Sixth Day"... a FIVE and a NINE.
You enjoyed this film on a cursory level, but weren't impressed with much below the
surface, rating this an ALRIGHT.
In a rare turn, I scored this picture a full four-points higher - something that has happened
only once before, in fact.
Much like junk food, I'm fully aware that this picture isn't really that fantastic - but
I love it anyway, Arnold is always great fun to watch, I thought the movie was AWESOME.
A reminder now to subscribe to the Movie Night Archive channel for exclusive trailer commentaries
- this week I previewed the new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" trailer - and for an organized
library of all our past reviews.
Finally tonight, Arnie's newest film, "Sabotage".
This David Ayer crime thriller was released nationwide on March 28, 2014 - and is hoping
to slowly make back its $35 million dollar budget, but unfortunately, it didn't have
the best opening weekend.
Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger continues his furious comeback into film,
starring in his third picture in a year, this time as the leader of an elite DEA task force.
The group of rowdy agents find themselves hunted down one at a time after stealing $10-million
from a dangerous drug cartel.
Although I'm not a fan of his character's crew cut hairstyle or his ample tattoos, the
66-year-old body builder still has what it takes to convincingly command the screen,
and hit the dramatic moments as well.
He's supported by a talented ensemble that includes Sam Worthington, Olivia Williams,
Mireille Enos, Terrence Howard, Josh Holloway, and Harold Perrineau - all of whom help sell
the layered narrative with charged performances.
Sadly though, there wasn't any "Lost" reunion between Holloway
and Perrineau.
The dirty-talking DEA officers may be great at taking down bad guys... but their overly
playful attitude eventually turns them against each other, with Arnold reminding them, "In
what we do there is only trust!".
Opening with a very gripping and realistic tactical takedown of a drug hideout, the movie
settles in to a tense and sometimes even frightening investigative procedural, that delivers its
fair share of twists and surprises.
One standout sequence has Schwarzegger and Williams creeping through a dark and deserted
home for a missing witness...
only to literally trip over his bloody remains.
The quiet and creaky sound effects coupled with a shadowy and disorienting visual style
make it a particularly effective scene for the 109-minute film.
Ayer makes some great use of parallel, non-linear editing - cutting a crime scene's search effort
step-for-step with a victim's last moments in the same space.
Although the framework and players are more than familiar, the direction this picture
takes is still an exciting and entertaining one, concluded by a gut-wrenching, but undeniably
satisfying coda.
Perhaps Arnold's strongest post-gubernatorial film yet, but once you know how it plays out,
there's sadly not much re-watch value here.
The brutal, R-rated film definitely isn't a date-movie, but fans of gritty police dramas,
or drug-busting shoot-outs will feel right at home.
"Sabotage", "Fascinating mystery with gruesome action."
As with most new releases, I'll have to score this one by myself... but I'm giving it an
SEVEN.
This is a decently compelling action procedural - but little more than that, I thought it
was COOL.
Finally tonight, let's check out what you're saying about other films in theaters with
some of your Tweet Critiques.
If you see a new movie in theaters, Tweet your review with the #JPMN hashtag.
After six episodes, next week will be the final installment of "Action Movie Month",
as we feature five Jason Statham films, "Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels" , the original
"Transporter", "Crank", "Parker", and finally "Homefront", which is new on DVD this month.
Once you've seen these films, share your opinions by voting in the polls below, or by leaving
a comment review.
If you'd like to watch more Movie Night reviews, check out the "related videos" on the right,
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Once again, my name is Jonathan Paula, thank you for watching and listening.
Until next time, have a good Movie Night!