Jared – Hi Tripp. Fantastic work on the podcast. I'm a big fan and listen to it daily. I'm 30
years old and have no problem meeting new people, other than approaching a woman I'm attracted to.
However, I've been doing it on a more consistent basis with the help of your podcast, I have a
script when approaching. I say "hello" ask her her name, tell her my name, and that I thought
she was cute and wanted to introduce myself. They usually smile back, thank me, and I ask if I can
have their number. Quick, I know. But this is usually coffee shop type scenarios where where
they're doing something. But I've noticed that there's usually a canned answer when I approach
women. They say something like, "thanks, but I'm talking to someone right now" or "thanks,
but I have a boyfriend". I reply "well, sounds good. I hope you see it as a compliment" and then
move on with my day. This is fine and probably true in some cases. But this happens so much
and I'm beginning to think it's just an immediate reaction because they're caught off guard and my
BS meter is starting to go off. My question is, if this is a knee jerk response to me hitting on them
and they're lying, or casually dating and open to dating others and otherwise would give me their
phone number, if not caught off guard, how do I give them the option to contact me if they regret
the rejecting me? Give them my business card? How would that look? Thanks so much, Jared. Jared...
let's... I'm not going to answer your question because I have a better answer
for you of a question you're not asking. You're not asking exactly what to do in this situation.
You're thinking of a different option for them to contact you. What you need to be asking... and
what I need to be helping you with here is, how do you get to the point where that woman wants to
give you her number? How do we get you to that point? The way that you're going to do that is
you got to have longer conversations. I think, Jared, that you have a limiting belief. And you
think that just because the person is at a coffee shop or busy, you think that the conversation has
to be quick. You are the one who's creating a quick conversation. That's what it sounds like.
You're going in with okay, this is my sequence, which is asking for their name,
telling them your name, saying she was cute, introducing yourself,
and then ask for their number. What you're doing is you're playing the girl's version.
A girl could do that. A girl could do that because men are more visually stimulated.
And women are more emotionally stimulated. That means that they are attracted to you
based on your behavior. They're attracted to you based on your behavior. Women are more emotional.
You need to spike attraction by using the TED formula. And this behavior is what's going to
get her attracted. Yes, your looks do matter (as we were talking about with Rico the last question)
yes, your looks do matter. Absolutely. If you're someone she's not physically attracted to, there's
probably nothing you can say. But if you're good enough, if you're good looking enough for her...
and I say for her, because every girl does have a different type.
Some girls like skinny guys, some girls like big guys or in between whatever.
But my point here is you need to be getting into these conversations and giving her more time
to be able to sense your behavior and get a sense of who you are. Because that's what makes them
attracted – your behavior. Your attraction plan is what should be for like a woman.
A woman can go up, and the guy's like, she's physically attractive,
I'll decide whether or not to give her my number. But she's just basing it on looks. That's it.
Do they have a boyfriend? Are they talking to someone right now? Who knows? It could be true.
I bet you most of them, if that's literally all you're getting, most of it's probably not true.
Some of it's true. But you need to have a sequence that lasts a little bit longer.
I actually teach that in my Hooked program and in my coaching. And it's really simple.
You're just asking them, hey, what's up, I wanted to come meet you. Have a little bit of
BS conversation with them. What do you do? Where are you from? Just get to know them a little bit
so they can sense your behavior and then from there, you can ask them.
Will that necessarily work every time? No. Will it drastically change your conversion? Yes.
In theory, it should. If you're going over using the TED formula that I talk about, and that is
talked about in the Hooked program and in my coaching program. TED formula: tension,
entertainment, dominance. Building tension, having an entertaining conversation that's
fun and fun for you, and leading the interaction. Jared, let's start there. To answer your question,
you said "give them my business card? How would that look?" Don't give them your business card.
Work on a sequence to have an opportunity to display your personality aka your behavior.