- Hey, YouTube world!
It's me, Evelyn.
(sighs)
You know, I'm just taking a break,
getting some air,
thinking,
drinking,
sweet tea.
It's just sweet tea.
Just thinking about life, you know?
I had a birthday recently.
Oh!
I wanna tell you something.
That's me!
That's baby Evelyn from the Internets.
I mean, she didn't know what the Internets was
at that point
or that she would be from it.
Who would have thought that little chicken nugget
would be sitting here before you today?
Not me, not her.
Yet here we are.
I remember watching sitcoms and thinking to myself,
man, if I could just turn 15 years old.
Wow.
I mean, TV's taught me a lot,
for better or worse.
But if there is one thing I've learned,
it's that life comes at you fast.
Alright?
And life has taught me a lot more
than fictional characters ever did.
So, in this video,
I'm going to use one of my favorite throwback TV shows
to tell you everything I've learned so far.
Enjoy.
(Sister Sister theme)
♫ Sister sister
♫ Tell me how much I need ya
♫ Now everybody knows
♫ I ain't ever gonna let you go
♫ Sister sister
(audience laughs) What?
Oh!
It's just me in the video.
You know I ain't got a twin!
(audience laughs)
(sighs)
Okay,
so, these lessons, though,
here's what I've learned so far.
Number one,
I am horrible at accepting compliments
and I don't mean those compliments like,
hey, shorty in the shirt,
you looking real nice.
I mean compliments like
when people recognize my talents
or abilities or my hard work.
I'm always like, who, me?
Could you really talking about me?
Yes.
Me.
'Cause I'm amazing
and chances are I've worked really hard
at that thing you think comes so naturally to me.
Which reminds me,
success is only one part hard work
and the other part is just being in the right place
at the right time to take advantage of an opportunity.
You can only control one.
Guess which one?
(audience laughs)
Yeah.
So, get to work.
Oh, and a lot of y'all already know this one:
when in doubt, pretend.
I work really hard at pretending that I'm confident
or competent
and all that means
is shut up and do the work even though you're scared.
It's not easy,
but it's worth it.
- [Mom] Evelyn!
Dinner's ready!
- Hold on, mom!
I'm talking to the people!
(audience laughs)
Ooh,
this is a good one.
There is nothing more powerful
than a made up mind.
Every time I've struggled
to make some important life decision,
it's because I hadn't made up my mind,
about myself, about others,
about the situation,
but when you get fed up,
and you'll know it when you feel it,
it is so much easier to make decisions.
And that's just vital information for your everyday life.
Growing up as me in particular,
I've learned that I'm messy.
I will never be tidy.
Messy is who I am.
(audience laughs)
Welcome to my brain.
And that's why calendars are so important.
Calendars aren't bougie.
Penciling you in means I value your existence in my life
so much that I don't want you to get lost,
in my brain.
(audience laughs)
- Evelyn!
- I'm coming, I promise!
Also, this brain is a procrastinator.
All that hard work crap I talked about earlier,
I do it at the last minute
'cause I love the thrill, I love the rush.
I love creating stress for myself
and that'll probably never change about me.
But another I've learned
is the importance of just getting back on track ASAP.
So what, you failed?
I feel like we're trained to value consecutive success,
but if you fail today,
don't put it off til next week.
Start again fresh tomorrow.
(audience claps)
- Evelyn from the Internet, get your butt down here!
(audience laughs) - Ooh.
She used my full name, y'all.
I gotta go.
But I wanna try something first.
That girl has my face!
(audience laughs)
Sounded better when they did it.
(audience laughs, claps)
Oh, yes.
Oh.
Those rambunctious twins, huh?
So many shenanigans,
so much conflict-resolution.
So many laugh tracks.
Do y'all remember when that white girl wanted to be them?
She, like, painted her face.
That was wild.
Anyway, lessons, yes.
I have more.
Let's go to another season.
And you know what that means.
A new theme song.
♫ Oh
♫ Sister sister
♫ Telling you how much I need you
♫ Now everybody knows
♫ I ain't ever gonna let you go
♫ Sister sister
The biggest lie I've ever told,
two words,
I'm fine.
Yep.
That let sit with you.
Oh, also,
more important than knowing what you wanna do
with the rest of your life
is knowing what you never wanna do, ever again.
(audience laughs)
Toothpaste,
toothpaste.
You wanna know what I'm never doing again?
Dyeing my hair red.
Okay?
Not a good look, boo boo.
Also not a good look,
this whole concept of they sleep, we grind.
No.
They sleep, I sleep,
we all sleep,
'cause sleep is good.
Go to bed.
Toothpaste.
Girl,
in my 27 years,
I've learned that not liking your job,
or your school, or your living situation
can physically make you sick.
And you should really talk to your friends
about those feelings.
Don't keep it all in here.
And surround yourself with people who make you laugh, man.
Okay?
Like, I know I'm funny but, like,
cracking jokes up here by yourself all the time,
kinda weird.
(audience laughs)
And tell those people you appreciate them
whenever you can.
Say things like, hey,
I really enjoy hanging out with you or
thanks so much for listening to my rants
because what you never wanna do
is wait until something tragic happens
to tell somebody how much they mean to you.
Dang,
why you always gotta kill the vibe before bed?
(audience laughs) Listen,
I'm just telling them the real.
Real stuff like
happiness is just a fleeting moment,
not a perpetual emotion.
Sure, you can be, like, content for long periods of time,
but you can never continuously happy.
There's always gonna be somebody who annoys you,
alright, and ruins that moment of happiness.
What are you gonna tell them?
That you don't really need to sleep with a satin bonnet,
your hair's gonna be moisturized regardless.
(audience laughs)
I never wanna see your ugly face again.
Then don't look in the mirror.
(audience laughs, claps)
You know, life is about experimenting.
There are no rules, those are just guidelines.
Suggestions, really.
Some of us are out here living reckless
with no bonnet on and it's okay
'cause that's the risk that I'm gonna have to take.
Alright, you wanna know why?
'Cause I'm grown.
(chuckles)
♫ Sister sister
♫ I got my own lines
♫ I do my own stuff in my own time
♫ And now everybody sees how different we have come to be
♫ Sister sister
I hate being a grown up.
(audience laughs)
Listen, I love to just kick it with y'all
and chat some more but I got bills to pay,
things to do so,
let's get this over with.
What are we at, 20?
Let me use my phone for these notes.
20,
don't judge people for staying where they are.
City, job, relationship,
'cause one day, that's gonna be you,
staying put in a city, or a job, or relationship
and you're not gonna like how the judgment feels.
21,
people will ask you to support you in ways that
they have literally never supported or loved you
and it's your decision,
either you do it 'cause you care about them
or dump 'em 'cause you don't.
Alright,
22,
"I'm sorry you feel that way" is not an apology.
"No" is a complete sentence.
My parents and I will probably never agree on
how often I should call them.
You have to change your air conditioner filter,
like, regularly,
it turns out.
Your fiber intake is directly correlated to
your overall success in life.
And finally, sometimes you need to just log off
and handle your business.
(audience claps) That's it.
27 things
that I've learned in 27 years of life.
That's it, we're done.
Series finale.
I'm not dying or anything,
I'm just saying,
can we finish the video?
This show was performed in front of a live studio audience
and is brought to you by Audible.
Today's audiobook recommendation
is The Defining Decade by Meg Jay.
It's full of vital information for your everyday life.
And sure, I'm over halfway through my 20s but
don't bring it up, okay?
I still need a little break in here, okay?
That's it for this video.
That was my art,
my artistic expression
and the art is brought to you by...
They have a massive selection of audiobooks
and you can get one for free,
any audiobook that you want
with a free 30 day trial membership
if you visit Audible dot com slash Evelyn.
And the book is always yours to keep
even if you don't stick with Audible
'cause they not trifling
and they helped me hire my brother
to bring you the artistic vision behind this video.
Say hi.
- Hello.
(laughs)
- Shout out to Esteban for
creating the concept of this video,
for illustrating this video,
for filming the video, and editing the video.
Family discount
or no?
- Pay me in full.
(laughs)
- In the comments below,
let me know what you've learned
in your years of living.
I feel like everybody has something
to contribute to this conversation.
I'm excited to see the lessons
that y'all will put in the comments
and I will see you on the internet somewhere.
Bye!