[Music]
since last time on Conquest Shang sang
tricked xiaoan into thinking Quan she
tried to kill him KH has gone a little
insane and is having his own people
tortured and killed to try and find
traitors because if he can't trust that
guy who wasn't really on his side and he
had to pay to do anything who can he
trust and even more damaging than
depleting his own troops numbers is
shaoan is putting a rift between him and
Reiko it's not him you know that as well
as I do I have fought side by side with
this man for years that's how would be
trusted Ally friend right in my own
midst could be anyone
even you you know that isn't true I love
you I ask you to release this
man he's released
Shia now you've got it broke my
heart Shia KH is very considerate to his
tortures though as he gives them a
pretty soft torture slab I mean it's got
to be considering how easily his sword
pierces through
it Sero the Mortal Combat sword
master you in that sword it's the most
noble of weapons a mystical blend of
warrior and steel yeah remember all the
good times of Sero and his sword
[Applause]
guys with this I could shoot you before
you'd even get near me and don't forget
Tasha's crossbow she's always been all
about that off screen and why is she
loading it was she going to shoot Z to
prove it
warning oh she's just going to shoot
Raiden well considering how helpful he
was last episode it's warranted I
imagine shaah would love to use that in
his most recent torture session who's he
torturing from what I hear just about
anyone who can get his hands on shans
mataro people you know all the things
that if he actually sent instead of the
idiots For Hire he always goes with you
guys would be pretty much screwed
especially without tomasi
cage you just got caged and wait a
second did did he really just say Moto's
people
motaro people was cantaran or Centaur
too hard to think of that's amazingly
awkward wording just to get a little
reference in Raiden especially when they
don't know motaro so why the [ __ ] would
you say that also motaro shouldn't even
be alive yet not everyone lives forever
in Mortal Kombat Conquest anyway I
gather his interest in finding his
traitor is getting a wee bit intense
it's funny we know it's reptile and he
doesn't yeah that's funny because they
didn't hide their allegiance At All by
having Zarin guarding their beehives
when shaan is dead you'll sit beside me
in power and share your throne
yes do you think it's wise to offer so
much why are you questioning this Cy
you're part of reptiles and tar and
click what did they forget which race
they made her a part of for this scene
and now Mortal Combat Conquest proudly
presents the biggest waste of time it
has ever given
us this entire scene is just shaan's
lead Shadow priest SL torturer and one
of katana's guards we know absolutely
nothing about either of these characters
and they proceed to have a fight scene
now Conquest certainly likes to have
characters act like morons a lot just to
fit in fight scenes but we usually at
least know one of the fighters involved
at least a little there's just
absolutely nothing to care about with
this fight it feels as tacked on as it
was the shadow priest guy at least has
something to do with the plot of this
episode but we'll never hear about this
guard guy again in because he
[Music]
dies ah Conquest how did you even manage
to make these look worse I guess I got
to give you credit for that cuz I
thought you'd already set the bar as low
as it could go you no longer leave the
front you just lie here while everything
we've built is being destroyed you dare
talk to me that way remember how vorx
wasn't happy with Korea's methods oh
wait no she was perfectly fine with them
until this episode it's like Conquest is
allergic to having characters have an
ark instead they end up almost
completely bipolar and freak out about
something they would have been okay with
the episode before at the very least it
could have been vack objecting to how
much Korea was offering reptile it would
have actually made sense for her to do
that plus that would have given a little
lead into I don't like Korea anymore
she's a poo poo head this also means of
course that the bee women are the ones
losing the war again because why not
have who's losing switch every episode I
still say we should turn reptile into
shaah and make his day and then what
happens think about it Taja if shiao
kah's busy killing off his own people he
might not have time to come after us
isn't that the reason to let him know
about reptile that would kind of put him
into a war with the zentar people of
which there are millions
apparently wow Vex you've got to let us
in on your fog door opening Powers I've
come to talk only that you're going to
have a tough time with my foot in your
mouth
stop why is it the bad guys have to
Ambush and surround the good guys in in
order to get them to talk that seems a
little backwards but if there's one
thing Conquest likes to be consistent on
it's making our heroes hotheaded morons
inside and I keep my sword Sero never
goes anywhere without his
sword I need you to kill Kaa to save us
all all your realm and my people Ka has
changed she's become obsessed with
winning and she doesn't care who dies or
how many even I fear for my own life
sounds like it's your problem sure we
freak out every time we find one of her
gold wise and it makes us have to go
blow up more babies but her being a
constant threat isn't a big deal to us
this episode I'm offering you an
opportunity to remove an enemy from Your
Flank kill her and we'll all leave will
you kill Kaa no
someday I'll kill them all unless I have
the opportunity to kill them kungl is
not above blowing up infants over and
over but he's not a monster he won't
kill the leader that's forcing him into
making such loathsome decisions you and
I'll do it we don't need him I'm right
here oh oh yeah I'll go talk to Vex wait
I'm in but if you two have sex I'm the
first to know got it I love this the
answer is No 1 minute later okay clearly
we couldn't move on until we had a
classic squabble with the trio back at
crazy cons Shadow priest dude is like
hey maybe we should stop killing our own
guys I got an
idea uh well he doesn't count cuz he's
made your sword a truth sword now
you suck oh well and then Ki Pops in
becoming visible just so she can see if
that robe is really empty great trick
how did they do it what is she doing in
here oops I really had no reason to
become visible I cannot lead an army
openly into that realm I'll be forbidden
as shaoan is you don't need an
army just me and four trusted Warriors
so it doesn't count as an illegal
Invasion if it's a small group [ __ ]
Elder gods of
useless hey everyone I just thought of a
random fun game it's called kiss my
sword oh I want to do it first I want to
do it first oh REO I actually don't care
if you
do this is beneath a true warrior
yeah I will have your oath reptile or
I'll have your
head I wear a mask so that didn't count
plus I
farted what's that delicious smell in
the air so vorex leads Kaa into an
ambush by Kung and the conster and of
course it's Siro who finishes her off
with his trusted sword oh wait that was
so a few scenes ago he uses the zero
Kick
zity K is she dead she is dead there can
be only
one I wonder if that obviously means
she's the new
Queen We then learned that the power of
Sword smooching means shaon can do some
extreme invasion of privacy but he can
only hear those who made out with his
sword I've been summoned to the throne
room I kiss that sword better than you
ever will sha con is the best boss in
the universe it's so rare to have a boss
like him that just lets you do whatever
you want I want to be him I want to make
love to his helmet in fact there was the
one time I how do we shut the sword off
how do we shut the sword off then Ki
becomes visible so that she can leave
she should probably stop doing that a
new Queen must take her place it must be
a firstborn daughter I ask for and
accept your powers what was the point of
the light show after the stabby stabby
if she's just getting the powers now and
it's a good thing she did this outside
so Taja could get confirmation of the
bleeding obvious what if
shaon say is
successful say it is successful good the
emperor can hear you what I'm not so
sure that what if shiao
KH is
successful what sounds extremely great
but of course they weren't listening to
that they're going to listen in at the
exact right
time shaan is the biggest penis of all
the Realms I thought our stretchy
reptile penises were the most impressive
before I saw sh
cons reptile is loyal all right vorex
you're the queen of the bees now maybe
it's time to ditch the Hideous Camel
Towing green monstrosity of an outfit
just a thought but of course she's got
more important things to do like find a
dick to pollinate so she's off to Shang
s's Shack in the woods because why would
he have moved from there when all his
enemies found out where it was last
episode the new Queen needs a mate one
born of Earth realm oh that's important
again of course it is I'm your
[Music]
Shon K oh boy I got to go tell Kung that
he Shang SS fetish I guess that really
shouldn't be a surprise to us
considering how much this man has gone
on about wanting kung's Soul I'm offered
you Realms and you're still obsessed
with Kung
kill and I'll give you as many warriors
as you desire but of course getting his
soul isn't important
again for warpx is the new Queen she
found Shang Tsung she wants him to
Father her new Army Koreans with the
power of sorcery what they're going to
know sorcery from birth I don't think
that's how that works especially when
you said the beom's jeans are the only
ones that get passed on to their
offspring if you're suddenly saying
that's not the case then you should
actually have a bunch of bee tiles
running around and if you have them that
then KH is much dumber than he looks if
he can't find the
traitor come on let's go Tasha Take Your
Bow and Siro take your sword so there'll
be some point you banging on about the
stupid thing at the start of the episode
NOP Kiri for the third time appears in
Khan's Throne Room during what must be a
brief bathroom break for him and grabs
his sword and quickly escapes oops I
mean sits on Khan's throne and Smiles
about it no rush I have to get word out
to the entire Army that I'm the new
Queen and to the maker of armies after I
have Kung Lao what will you live for
once he's
dead revenge on Kung Lao for having the
G to die on
[Music]
me what are you doing here just some
pointless Kip ups I don't know maybe I
would sleeping there I forget ka's
promises died with her I owe you nothing
reptile I've chosen Shang one of shaan's
prisoners over the ruler of SATA
actually that's a good point reptile
according to Raiden has millions of
followers and Shang s has a Shack in the
woods and not to mention vorpax hates
Shang s so why would she want to [ __ ]
him instead of the
lizard yes I just said that I was at
shaan's side when he conquered your
realm and that's another point of
confusion here KH conquered zatara so it
should be a part of outworld or a flower
at least but that is where Korea was
hiding out with reptile lately so how
exactly were they in zetero was it just
the part of outworld that mostly used to
be Zera cuz that doesn't seem extremely
safe they squeeze in another fight and
then the bozo Brigade makes their move
and Taja manages to miss reptile while
he's lying on the ground so glad she
brought
that why am I
here where is it we search the entire
Palace the sword is gone did shaon eat
some people trying to find it where the
hell did all those skeletons come from I
thought they'd make a nice I'm so sorry
your sword got stolen present get out
get
out get out I will have my
revenge I will have my
revenge wow this is the angriest we've
seen shaon and it's because he's lost a
sword yep swords that's what this
episode episode was all about I guess I
don't know if it wasn't about that it
certainly was about people making
decisions completely at odds with what
they would have done in a previous
episode next time on Conquest it's our
lead into the finale and what else would
the god of useless be doing with things
getting so intense but going to the bar
to pick up Playboy
Playmates meanwhile Siro and Friends
discover the cult of
shocking man oh man who could they
possibly be
[Music]
serving
oh sorry just aim at me next time that
way I'll be
[Music]
safe A