- So today, we're gonna have a little bit of fun
and talk about what do you do when your man has a habit
that completely turns you off?
Because you don't want to be turned off by your man,
you wanna be turned on by your man
but this thing that he's doing is just like,
no, thank you, I don't like it,
and you would love for it to change.
So my team and I did some research, read some articles,
surveyed women and came up with the top 10 things
that men do that turn women off.
Now as I'm gonna share these with you,
and then I'm also gonna share with you what you can do
if your man is doing any of these things,
I have to say I am guilty of some of these myself
as these came in.
And I also have to say
these aren't just sequestered to men,
of course, these are, in some of these cases,
human beings where every one of us are doing these things.
But these are the ones that came in that women reported.
Number 10, the pick and flick.
(laughs) The pick and flick.
So you know what I mean when I say the pick and flick,
like he's digging for gold, he's finding that boogie,
and then not only does he pick it out
but he flicks it and you just don't know where it goes,
that sucker, like did it land on the wall?
Did it land on the ground?
Like, you don't want your place that you're occupying
to have boogers randomly coming at you.
While most people are trying to be discreet
when they're doing the pick and flick, right?
They don't want to get caught,
sometimes you see people doing this in the car.
There was one particular guy
who thought he was being discreet
but unfortunately wasn't, watch this.
That is a rather unfortunate way
to get caught with the pick and flick. (laughs)
Luckily, he didn't flick it, right? He just picked it.
So that was number 10,
let's take a look at number nine.
Number nine is using the floor
as his personal laundry basket.
Maybe there's a man in your life that does this,
maybe there's a man in your life
that likes to go to the gym
and his clothes are sopping wet with sweat,
like he's the sweater
and he's like doesn't know what to do,
he doesn't wanna put his clothes in the hamper
because they're just too wet
and so he drapes them over the bathtub
or next to the sink or someplace where they can dry out,
maybe that drives you nuts.
But not having laundry where it should go
is a definite turnoff.
You and your man want to get on the same laundry plan.
My wife is talking to me all the time about this
'cause I'm that guy, where I go to the gym,
I get super sweaty at the gym, I come back,
I don't wanna put the clothes in the laundry basket
because, of course, it'll make the rest of the clothes
smell that much worse.
So we're trying to find,
where's the best place for my sweaty clothes?
We try different places
but guilty as charged on that one.
The number eight turnoff that women have
is when a man tries to minimize your feelings,
where he doesn't really honor the experience
that you just had and tries to go
into Mr. Fix It mode or Mr. Solve It mode
or explaining why it should be that way.
Guilty of this one as well,
I can remember, specifically,
my wife and I brushing our teeth in the bathroom
and she picks up her phone
and she sees a picture and she starts crying.
And we'd just had our first baby,
first baby was like six months old and I'm like,
"Honey, why are you crying?"
And she goes,
"My friends are out to dinner with each other."
And she shows this picture that her friends
like she has these three other best friends,
they all went out to dinner together
and they didn't invite her.
Now the backstory on this in my mind
is they had been inviting her,
for months they had been inviting her
but because she was pregnant,
because she just had the baby
and we're going through that whole thing,
Irene had just been saying, "No, no, no, no, no."
And so, this one, they didn't invite her
and they just went out.
I assume because they thought
that she was gonna say no anyway.
And so, in my infinite wisdom,
I decide to explain that to Irene.
Does it make her feel any better?
Hell no, in fact, it makes it worse.
She was like, "Why are you on their side?"
Da da da da da, she got all mad.
I was like, wait a minute, okay,
I just stepped in a big old bear trap on that one
and I said, "You know what, honey?"
I know that sucks, it sucks you feel left out,
it sucks you feel like you can't get outta the house,
we're taking care of this baby all the time
and so on and so forth.
And she was like, "Thank you, that's what I needed."
So when your man doesn't honor your experience
and goes into like fix it mode
as if you don't already know what's going on, major turnoff.
Number seven, instead of explaining this one,
I thought we would show you this one.
(creepy music)
Yes, beard shavings in the sink,
and I hope you all know how hard it is
to clean these little things up
'cause these little guys are tiny, right?
And it's we, it's hard to get these out,
especially by the faucet,
like I'll shave and I'll try my best to clean it up.
There's still always like one or two little hairs
that I'll find.
But here's the deal,
beard shavings actually pretty much goes right along
with that big glob of hair that's in the shower
that you pull out and you stick to the wall
and sometimes you remember it, sometimes you don't.
I think those are pretty equivalent.
So, of course, beard shavings, any kind of hair,
untenable hair that's just scattered in the bathroom,
gonna be a turnoff for everybody, I think.
At number six, and I can totally agree
and relate to this one,
when a guy uses his car as a fast food museum, right?
Like, there's garbage everywhere,
there's old hamburgers in the back
or like french fries,
stale and they've been there for like weeks
and you get in the car
and it smells like you're in the kitchen
of some fast food restaurant,
like no-brainer, that is a total turnoff.
Clean up your stuff, man.
And the fifth turnoff
that many women talked about was mansplaining,
where he's like trying to tell you something,
assuming that you don't know
but clearly you know and super irritating.
You know, the frame that we put on this one
could either help it be a significant turnoff
or find it to be something where he's trying to contribute
'cause he wants to feel valuable in the relationship.
But either way, I can see how that is a turnoff.
The fourth turnoff, burping, just like inappropriate,
not even that like cute burp or the hide it burp
but just like the let it rip burp and you're like, really?
Are we there? We're already there?
We're already at that point in the dating process?
So feel free to tell him,
"Inappropriate, I'm not ready for that."
Unless you're doing the Sprite challenge
with your man like this couple.
- Okay, we're gonna be trying the Sprite challenge.
- First person to burp loses, my bets on Lexi.
- I just like to burp in general, so, oh!
Oh God, now I'm scared. - Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, close it, close it.
- Ready? - Are you ready?
- Yeah. - Three, two, one.
Oh God. - Oh God,
my eyes are watering.
- Hold it, hold it.
- Ah, ah, ah.
- Oh my God.
(both burping loudly)
- Oh man, that made me laugh.
Well done, couple, well done.
The third biggest turnoff,
and when this one was brought up I thought,
no, people don't do this, like.
And so I went and researched it,
just don't, do yourself a favor, don't Google this,
don't watch videos of this, like it just, even,
I wanna get those images out of my mind,
but it's the scratch and sniff.
Have you ever seen a guy do this, the scratch and sniff?
I'm like, as I was looking at videos, I'm like, what?
What is this all about?
And so, whether he's scratching in the front and smelling,
some people scratching in the back and smelling,
maybe you can explain this one to me
because this kind of blew my mind.
But a hundred percent relate to that being a turnoff,
no to the scratch and sniff.
Second biggest turnoff,
toenail clippings in the living room.
(laughs) Like, we all have to groom
and so you wanna be able to cut your toenails
and cut your nails in a way where the leftovers land
in the right spot, but clipping them,
you know how they shoot off in all kinds of directions.
So in the living room, where later you're like walking
and you like step on one and you feel it, super bad turnoff.
And the number one turnoff, pee on the toilet seat.
And I can see you going like,
oh yeah, pee on the toilet seat.
Sometimes when a guy puts the toilet seat up
and he's going to the bathroom,
the toilet seat can sometimes slip and fall down,
and what it does, your man will go through the heroic move,
like this guy does right here, watch this.
(dramatic music)
(laughs) I love that because every man
has had that particular situation happen.
But I know that that's not the reason
that explains the pee on the toilet seat.
So yes, I 100% agree, he needs to wipe it down
or needs to make sure that when you're sitting down,
it's dry for you, I'm guilty as charged on that one as well.
So none of us are perfect, we all have habits
and do things that aren't gonna vibe with the other person.
So what do you do if your man has got a habit,
if your man's got some behavior
that you would love to see shift?
Because it's turning you off
and you guys are in a relationship,
how do you approach that?
Right now, I'm gonna give you five quick, easy steps
for how to approach these types of moments.
Well, number one is shovel while the pile is small,
what does that mean?
That means don't let a lot of time go by
before you bring this thing up,
or if you are gonna bring it up
and it has happened over a period of time,
don't stack the past and say words like,
"You always pee on the toilet seat,
you never lift the toilet seat up," things like that.
When it becomes a huge deal,
then that huge deal gets amplified, he'll get defensive,
you'll get critical and you'll just butt heads.
So instead, approach it as a small thing
because you're shoveling while the pile is small.
This isn't a big deal, but I wanted to bring it up.
Number two is state your intention.
You can say something like this,
"Hey, I wanna chat with you about something,
it's not a big deal, but I've been feeling
a little bit of frustration around it and I love you
and I don't want the frustration to get in between us
'cause I wanna feel connected to you."
Brilliant intention, he wants that same thing,
it's no big deal, he's gonna be way more open.
Step number three is simply state what happened
or state what you saw, what did you experience?
And don't charge it with a big story,
just state what happened were you,
the toilet seat example, you say,
"Hey, so earlier today, I sat down on the toilet
and I got up and my legs were all wet
and I feel frustrated about that."
And that's all you need to say about that,
you don't have to give a whole long story
and then move to step four, which is to state what you want.
And you can say this,
"My legs were all wet and I feel frustrated
and what I would really love
is that when I sit down to use the bathroom,
that the toilet seat is dry."
And then you move to step five,
which is make a new agreement.
A great relationship therapist once said,
"The way we know we love one another
is by the agreements we're willing to make and keep."
So this is where you make a new agreement.
You say, "Would you be willing to,
when you use the restroom,
just make sure it's a hundred percent dry when you're done
so that when I use it, I can have dry legs?"
And your man is gonna say, "You know what, honey?
I'm sorry, I'm in for that, 100%."
And then you move forward
and that's how you address the habits and the things
that you would love to change or evolve in the relationship.
So did we capture the habit
that you find the biggest turnoff?
If we did, share with us what it was,
if we didn't, post that habit below,
what are the biggest turnoffs that you have?
This is gonna be a beautiful wake up call
for men to see this video.
So I appreciate you, here's to your great love life,
thanks for watching and I'll see you soon.
(bright music)