Britney goes to the VMAs and she’s like,
I don’t know what I’m gonna wear,
I’ve already been a Catholic school girl
But I haven’t been a nature explorer
Britney Jean Spears began at the Mickey Mouse Club
That was, like, a very elite club because they all turned out to be super stars
She was also in the club with Ryan Gosling,
Justin Timberlake,
pop idol Christina Aguilera
Christine Aguilera was like I’m gonna be super famous
And Britney’s like, hold on one second
I’m about to show you this crazy ride that I’m about to go on
At this she is determined to get a record deal
Her first major bop is Hit Me Baby One More Time
And the producers are like, we want to make this an animated music video
And she’s like, no, I want to be a Catholic schoolgirl
Do that to me
And so they do it, and it’s a huge hit
Then, she’s like, you know what, I’m gonna have another crazy music video idea
I’m gonna do a video to crazy
Melissa Joan Hart is like, I will absolutely leave the set of
Sabrina the Teenage Witch for like ten minutes to do this video with you
Then she comes out with Oops I Did It Again,
And then she starts dating Justin Timberlake,
And we’re like, this is pop royalty
We’re all in live with them, they wear matching denim,
It sounds like a match made in heaven
Then, Britney’s like, I want to get a little racier
So then Britney goes to the VMAs and she’s like,
I don’t know what I’m gonna wear,
I’ve already been a Catholic school girl
But I haven’t been a nature explorer
Britney Spears decides, I’m gonna wear a snake in this iconic VMAs outfit
She’s like, I’ve worn a snake, I’ve been a Catholic schoolgirl,
I want to try something else
I am going to star in my own movie called Crossroads
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I liked Crossroads, okay?
I also loved the song, Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman, that’s a bop
You can @ me, but I’m still right
Also before I go on, I really liked From Justin To Kelly too
So then she’s like, I’m gonna get rid of my good girl image,
I’m gonna be Toxic, I’m gonna wear no clothes, I’m gonna be a stripper on an airplane
Still, to this date, it’s like, one of the best songs ever
If you guys remember, Britney started getting a little racy
Everything kind of all came, like, to a bubbling overflow
When she was at the MTV Video Music Awards with Madonna
So first, Madonna’s like, I’m going to really go in on this
And Britney’s like, okay
So Madonna’s like, here hold this
Oh no, her Botox
So Britney’s like, you know what, I like being crazy right now
So I’m gonna do something crazy
She goes to Vegas and she gets married to her childhood friend
For just a couple hours
And then she’s like, never mind, I gotta go
So this is when she like, hurt her knee at a music video shoot,
She quit her tour, she started Kabbalah, and then
Kevin Federline
*Wah, wah, waaah*
Britney and Kevin get married, they start a family, they have two really cute boys,
And then she’s like, Kevin, you gotta go
Britney’s going through a lot right now,
And people are like, talking and they’re, you know, speculating
And then, not all heroes wear capes
Chris Crocker comes to her defense, and says, leave Britney alone
And you know what, we have to listen to Chris
Is you don’t believe me,
Chris looks like this now, he’s hot as sh*t, so
Be careful of who you make fun of in high school
Britney then, she has a comeback
She’s like, all eyes on me in the middle of the ring, just like a circus
She has like Womanizer, which we like, love
Hold It Against Me, which is great
Three, which like, nobody wants to talk about, which was like a really great song
She's in a better place now
And that better place is Vegas
She’s doing this show every night, she’s posting her workouts on Instagram
This is the Britney that we always wanted
A Britney that's happy, a Britney that’s performing
A Britney that wears heavy eyeliner
You know what, I love you Britney