learn an important distinction between self-concept and self-esteem stay tuned so
what is self-concept and what is self esteem
what's the difference why is that even important
well it's important to know who you are for the most part and it's important to
feel good about that knowing who you are and I don't mean knowing who you are
in a very deep spiritual philosophical sense you could go a lifetime exploring
that and I suggest that you do but for what we're talking about we're talking
about your self-concept to put this in two perspective yourself concept is like
a map in NLP we say the map is not the territory so the territory would be the
vastness of all that you are which you could you could go on and on explaining
and there would be no end to that and that's like the territory so say like
the territory or the state of California the actual ground and all the details
that go into that we make up we can make a map which is doesn't have all those
details but that's what makes it useful it's easy to refer to it fits in your
can fit in your back pocket or you can find it on your iphone so that map is
not the territory to completely duplicate the territory you have to
recreate atom by atom and then why would you want to do that you already have the
territory
the map is for an easy reference so your self-concept is like that their
self-concept is not all that you are
it's a quick reference to that and concept meaning it's not something you
can see and it's not something you can put in your pocket so it's actually not
real it is based on the choices that you choose to focus on in your memory of
experience so in choosing to forget focus on certain things you have to
ignore other things so for example say I I think of myself as a very confident
person what I'm choosing to do is choosing to function from the
experiences I've had where I was a very confident person of course i have
experiences of not being confident but I i choose to ignore some of those are nor
the majority of them put it that way and because I focus on the majority of them
and I believe myself to be a competent person the tendency is is it for is for
it to be self-fulfilling so i will more than likely act like a competent person
and do things in a competent way now if I value competence and I behaved in a
competent way that I experienced self-esteem because I'm behaving my on
the aligning my behavior and something i believe about myself with something I
value so that's where the self-esteem comes from your self-concept is really a
generalization of the many ideas that you have about yourself so it's in a
sense of bundle generalizations it's a generalization of a bundle of
generalizations your self-esteem is how you feel about that
so for you people who know logical levels your evaluation of your
self-concept as a higher logical level so self-esteem is at a higher logical
level because self-esteem is when I step back and look at myself for a look at
what I've done I look at what I believe about myself and I'm happy about that
so if I down in confidence and I behave in what I consider to be a competent way
experience self-esteem if I do something that's incompetent and I value
confidence i'm gonna experience lower self-esteem
this is really important when you when you begin to think about who we are as a
culture and who I see and I've experienced myself so I am speaking from
experience this idea of happiness and i would think to myself I'm not happy so
there must be something wrong and people go about this in different ways you
could overeat you can / drink you
go to a therapist and say I'm not happy and they give you a pill that just makes
you feel happy for doing nothing
that's not what happiness is happiness is the engagement of experiences in
which things that you enjoy doing that you do they make you happy so the more
than you engage in things that make you happy
the happier you're going to be if your majority of time spent doing things that
don't make you happy like a job that you're unhappy with what do you think
happens
well you're not going to feel happy happiness comes with experiencing the
activity of something that makes you happy
so this is the same thing as your self-concept the more you engage in
their behaviors that you value that could be intelligence kindness
confidence the higher self-esteem is going to be the problem is we often get
this backwards we often try to go and self-esteem directly and that's like
with affirmations we seek compliments and that's what is actually known as
other esteem we look for the approval of others it doesn't come from within it
comes from outside US and it may give us a temporary boost to our self-esteem but
because we're always dependent on someone else to give it to us it can be
taken away from us and there's also that insecurity of maybe it's not there I'm
waiting for someone else to judge me to give me that Stevie Wonder is created
this self concept model which is what I'm basing all this on not and I'm have
to say that I don't just know this from his book i know this from personal
experience when you take your values and you look at them as qualities within
yourself
so if I value joy if I value passion and I think of myself as a joyful passionate
person and I behave in that way I'm gonna have really high self-esteem
because these are really high values of mine so knowing the difference between
self-concept and self-esteem makes creating self-esteem within yourself
easier because it's just really automatic when you're just doing the
things that you value you're automatically going to have higher
self-esteem and it's really that simple
and that plays into your overall well-being and your overall happiness in
life and your confidence people come to be a lot for more confidence again you
can go a confidence directly you have to go at what is it you want to be
confident and when you're behaving competently at something you're going to
feel good about that and which will make you feel more confident and that's part
of what the self-esteem comes into so do things be the person you value and
self-esteem is automatic check out our website
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take care
yeah