Charlotte talked a lot about how to instill good habits
in our children's lives.
But after I talk about that to many parents,
their next question is, but what do I do about myself?
How can I instill habits in my children's lives
when I'm still struggling myself?
So I went back to Charlotte's writings
and looked at the principles that she explained
and pulled from those ideas of how we can instill habits
in our own lives.
And I also read some recent books about habit training
who have discovered the way the brain works
and written about that.
And I put the two together
and that's what we're going to talk about in this session.
We're going to look at some word pictures
that Charlotte used to describe habits.
And we're going to pull from those some principles
that will help us instill good habits in our own lives,
mix that with some of the other scientific things
we've discovered recently,
and I hope this session will empower us all
and help us feel confident as we are instilling habits
in our children too.
So, the first word picture Charlotte talked about
is that habits are like railroad tracks.
You have heard of that one before, yes?
Laying down the rails.
Those habits act like railroad tracks.
Once we get them laid down, we can run on them smoothly.
What was interesting to me is that railroad tracks
were a new thing in Charlotte's day.
The railroad had just started in England.
Prior to that, they had ridden everywhere in carriages,
horse and buggy.
And you talk about jolts and delays.
You would be going down this path,
not really a paved road at all.
It would be a path with all these holes in it
and there weren't very good shocks in those carriages.
So you'd have a lot of jolts
and you'd have to stop at the different inns
and switch out horses so you'd have delays as well.
When that railroad came to town,
now suddenly you get on,
you buy your ticket to your destination,
you get on, and boom you're there.
That was a new idea to everyone.
Now you notice, when you buy your ticket,
usually you buy it to one destination.
And that is a key in habit training.
You need to focus on one habit at a time.
You've got one destination in mind.
It's so easy for us when we look at ourselves to say,
okay, I need to change this, and this, and this, and this,
and this, and this, and this, and oh yeah that,
and your list gets longer than your arm.
Am I the only one?
- [Audience] No.
- Alright, good.
Whew!
But we need to focus in on one at a time.
Just like getting a ticket on that railroad,
we've got one main destination.
But the other thing, if you think about those railroads
and the trip to the one destination, is that usually
that train would stop at smaller depots along the way.
It would stop at smaller towns.
And we can do the same thing.
When you have your goal in mind,
this is the habit I want to instill,
maybe it looks pretty overwhelming.
It looks a bit intimidating to get that habit instilled.
But maybe you could break it down into smaller baby steps.
When I started studying habit training,
I chose as the one habit I wanted to focus on,
the habit of health.
I wanted to, and Charlotte believed that health is a duty.
We should do all we can to keep ourselves in good health
so that we can be of service to others.
And so, health was my main goal, but I broke it down.
And one of the first things that I wanted to do
was drink more water.
Those of you who know me know how hard that is.
How hard it was a couple years ago when I started.
I am not a water person.
I am a Coca Cola girl.
(audience laughing)
Water has no flavor.
(laughs)
Water is boring.
But, I wanted to instill.
That was the first step on my way to that habit.
And we're going to talk more about that
in a couple of minutes.
But you can see how you can break down your main destination
into smaller stops to help you.