If you've been thinking about giving up alcohol, as in stopping drinking completely, you're in the
right place because this video is going to tell you exactly what to expect. It is a big decision,
and naturally, you probably have some mixed feelings about it. And I'm not here to tell
you it's going to be so easy and everything's going to be perfect, but I do want to give you
a realistic idea about what this For those of you who don't know me, I'm Amber Hollingsworth.
I'm a Master Addiction Counselor. I've been treating individuals and families who are battling
addiction for 20 years now. I know, that's a long time. And over those 20 years, as you can imagine,
I've walked alongside hundreds, really thousands of people who have made the
decision to get sick. sober. Have you ever heard the saying, you find what you're looking for?
I would definitely think that is 100 percent true, which is why it is so important to adjust
your expectations when it comes to this whole process of stopping drinking. Let's start with
what the expectations are generally like in the beginning. When I'm working with people
and they first start thinking about this idea of stopping or even cutting back their drinking,
these are the most common thoughts, fears, concerns that they're battling with.
Probably at the top of the list, they're afraid that their whole life will be totally
boring and they'll never have fun again. They feel like they're just going to miss
out on everything. They worry that they won't have anything to help them with
their anxiety anymore. They're concerned about how it'll even affect their sleep.
And most people are at least a little worried about what other people are going to think about
the fact that they stopped drinking. So let's take a look at those one by one and figure out
what's the reality of those situations. This first thought about boredom, it can actually
be really strong because it can even feel like, dude, I don't even know if I want to live sober.
And there's a valid reason why you feel this way. And that's because over the
years of drinking alcohol, your brain has adjusted slowly over a long period
of time. to the point that it's really hard for you to experience pleasure,
joy, or happiness without the alcohol. So when you think about life without alcohol, it feels
like life is going to be boring and lame, but actually nothing could be further from the truth.
Because what you're really going to find is this. You're going to
find that actually you regain the ability to experience joy, happy, excitement, pleasure,
contentment that you haven't been having. The truth of it is that because you've been drinking,
your life has been boring and not very fun, and it feels like alcohol is the only remedy to that,
but the truth of it is alcohol is the reason that it feels that way.
By the time you get to the point Where you're thinking about stopping drinking,
you've probably gotten to the point, or at least you're not very far from it. Alcohol really is one
of the only things that can bring you pleasure. It's not like you don't like anything else,
but you probably don't like it very much if it doesn't involve alcohol as well.
And then there's this thought about missing out. I miss out on things. You will miss out on some
things. But some of those things you probably won't even mind that you're going to miss out
on. If you stop drinking, the things that you like to do will change pretty drastically. So there may
be things that you do now that you enjoy, that you won't enjoy anymore if you stop drinking.
It's not that you're going to miss out because you can't go to those things or participate in
certain activities. It's just that you probably won't enjoy them anymore. But that's okay because
you're going to have a lot of other things that you do care about and feel excited about. And
while we're talking about missing out, I do want to point out that there are some things that
you're going to miss out on that you're actually going to be really glad that you missed out on.
Like waking up wondering what happened last night, like waking up feeling like crap,
like having to feel embarrassed when other people are reminding you what you did,
like having to feel defensive. You're going to miss out on all
those. promises that you make to yourself about that's never going to happen again.
Yeah, you're going to miss out on all that and I think you're going to be really glad. Now another
huge thing that you might be worried about is how will stopping alcohol affect your sleep
cycle or your anxiety or your depression? Because if you've been drinking pretty considerably, then
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you are experiencing a good amount of anxiety.
Just about the only time that feels better is when you have a few drink. But what you may
not be aware of is just exactly how much the alcohol is making the anxiety there.
It's not always easy to connect this dot because it feels like Alcohol is
the thing that's alleviating it, but what you're missing is the behind the scenes.
It's the after the drinking. It's the rebound from the drinking.
Increases your anxiety through the roof. Ultimately, it makes you feel more agitated,
irritable. Your sleep quality goes way down, which means your resilience for dealing with
life everyday stressors. is hugely impacted. Now, because this tends to happen slowly over time,
it's hard for people to really realize that it is the alcohol that's causing this.
Most people don't realize it until they get out of it for at least a few weeks, maybe a month or so,
and they look back and they're like, wow, I feel completely different. Those things that used to
send me over the edge before don't bother me near as much. A lot of times when I first start talking
to clients who are brand new, and they're still drinking, and they're thinking about giving it up,
they talk to me about all the other things in their life, naturally, like their work,
their marriage, certain friendships, other things that are happening.
And usually, the way they feel about all those situations is pretty negative. A lot of times
they feel like, I gotta get out of this marriage, this is bad. Awful. I hate it. I need to leave
this job. I'm miserable. And I always encourage them. Okay, you might be right. You might need to
make some big changes here, but can we wait and see how you feel once we get the alcohol out?
And I would say in about 90 plus percent of cases, people feel very differently.
Literally every single day I go through this with people and people are like,
you know what? Used to, I was so miserable at my job and yeah, I still get irritated now,
but overall I'm pretty happy. I'm enjoying it actually and I'm doing a lot better.
And the marriage thing, or the relationship thing, you can take what I just said about the work thing
and multiply that times about 5 million. And I don't want to give all your secrets away here,
but I know you feel like you really can't stand your partner or your spouse. And you probably feel
like they're controlling, nagging, critical, judging, all those other negative things.
And that's because They're on your case about your drinking, which makes you feel defensive,
which makes you feel like you have to hide it, which makes you want to stay away from
this person, which makes you want to lie to this person and avoid this person, and it is destroying
your relationship. Now, I think most people do have an understanding that they probably will.
feel physically better if they stop drinking, but I found that people are actually really surprised
about just how much better they physically feel. When you physically feel better,
you're sleeping better, your anxiety's down, your blood pressure's down,
your relationship is better, your energy is back, your motivation is back.
You will literally feel like a new human being, and I know it's hard to believe me
because probably when you think about stopping drinking right now, you think about what it's
like to go for a day or two or three or four without drinking, and you're thinking,
that's freaking miserable, Amber. I know what it feels like, and I hate it, but I don't
want you to confuse what withdrawal feels like because that's what we're talking about there.
with what being sober feels like. Before I recorded this video,
I was actually talking to a client who's decided to cut back his drinking
like 95 percent. Watching him smile as he was telling me about what was going on in his life,
even though I knew it was going to happen, it's still amazing every single time I see it.
Because when I first talked to this guy about six or eight weeks ago,
he was so depressed. He didn't know what he was going to do,
if he even cared what happened to him. His marriage was falling apart. He wanted to
leave his business that he spent his whole life building up and he was Absolutely miserable.
Literally wishing he would just not wake up in the mornings. And I can remember saying to him,
look, I know your depression is really bad. I do know that these
substances are not helping it. So can we please just do a trial run? Can we take
the substances off the top and see how you feel before you make any of these?
big huge decisions that you're trying to make and ultimately he agreed and here we are six weeks
later this guy is smiling, he feels productive, he feels motivated, his relationship's not perfect,
but he feels good about the fact that he's trying harder and his wife is trying harder.
Everything is just immensely better and I see this over and over again.
Now, I don't want to leave out this whole fear and worry about what other people
will think of you when you get sober or you tell them that you've stopped drinking. And
that's because you spent a good amount of years living a certain lifestyle,
defending that lifestyle, maybe even making fun of other people who don't drink.
because you've been so immersed in this lifestyle and you feel almost embarrassed to make such a big
change. For a lot of people, this is actually one of the last fears to go away. I know that
you're going to expect that people are going to judge you, they're going to laugh at you,
they're going to think you're weird, are you an alcoholic, or what's wrong with you.
What you typically get when you come out of the sobriety closet, as I call it,
is people are actually usually either really intrigued or they're really proud of you. And
the most comment reaction from the other people around you who maybe didn't know that about you,
or who didn't know that you knew that about you, is that they actually feel safer with you.
They're going to start talking to you about how they've been thinking about cutting back
or stopping, which is really incredible because when you start being vulnerable
and talking about your own experiences and what it was like before and what it's like after,
not only are you improving your own life and all these things we
just talked about are a lot better, but you're actually making safe.
You're opening the door for someone else to do that. If you really want to know
what to expect when you quit drinking, the first few weeks you're going to feel worse,
but after that you're going to feel a little bit better every single day.
Your mood is going to get better. Your energy is going to get better.
Your anxiety is going to decrease by a lot. Your relationships are going to
get better. You're going to be bringing your A game to work. Hobbies, interests,
Soberlink is a great way to you do. You're going to feel proud of yourself again and
you're literally going to look back on how you felt and how you were operating
when you were actively drinking and think, Oh my gosh, I was so miserable.
I don't know how I did that so long. Now,
if you're really committed to stopping drinking and you're worried that you may
run out of willpower or you may have a hard day or you may slip, then I want to recommend
that you consider Soberlink. I'm not sure if you've heard me talk about Soberlink before.
You may have because they're a sponsor of this channel, but mostly because I love Soberlink. In
fact, when I first started thinking about taking sponsors for this channel, I personally reached
out to Soberlink and I said, Hey, I've been using your product for many years. I am a big fan. And
I wonder if you'd like to sponsor this channel because I can wholeheartedly recommend Soberlink.
If you don't know what Soberlink is, it is a portable alcohol monitoring device.
It's a breathalyzer, but it's a high tech breathalyzer. You come up with a schedule
about when you want to be breathalyzed, which holds you accountable for stopping drinking. Oh,
and I don't want to forget to tell you that it also has facial recognition in it,
so there's not really a lot of getting around it.
It's pretty high tech. It's legit. It makes drinking off the table because
you don't have to battle with those. Maybe I'll just have a couple or,
my spouse is gone. They won't be back for a few hours. Maybe I just have
a little bit. It'll totally be out of my system by the time they get back.
You don't have to do all this back and forth with yourself because that whole
coast is clear trigger is pretty much eliminated. And when you don't have to
do the back and forth battle with yourself anymore. It makes it a lot easier. Oh,
and did I mention it makes your family feel so much better and they can stop spying on you and
nagging you and questioning you and smell checking you, which definitely makes your life easier.
I'm going to put a link in the description in case you want to learn more about Soberlink. Now,
if you're watching this video and you're already sober,
or you've gotten sober in the past, I would love to hear from you in the
comments about what your experience is like. What would you tell other people to expect?