(gentle music)
- What's good.
My name's Alex.
I'm 28 years old and was born in Washington DC.
From third grade onward,
I lived outside of the southeastern border in Maryland
specifically Prince George's County.
That's where I did school.
Even like college, like I went
to the University of Maryland
moved around a little bit when I was a kid, you know
on account of my dad being in the military
usually when I'm outside of that context, I'll say like DC
for simplicity's sake, but I would say DMV more broadly
because not only was I born in DC and raised in Maryland,
I spent a lot of time in Virginia.
When it came to my Korean mother trying to find community,
she had to go west into Virginia.
And so, at least once a week we would take the highway
across the Woodrow Wilson Bridge
into Fairfax, Centerville, Annandale, like that area.
And that's where the closest Korean community was.
That's where we would go to church,
the supermarkets, the restaurants, my optometrist, you know
all of all of those things.
And that's how I would say connected.
A kind of mantra or saying that I have as far as thinking
about my story is this idea of like me perpetually being
on the bridge, bridging these two cultures.
It kind of parallels the journey that a lot
of Korean-Americans take when it comes to, you know
leaving from the US to go to Korea.
They tend to go west
crossing the Pacific Ocean and then ending
up here in Korea, here in the peninsula.
And yeah, and I had that sort
of parallel experience on a weekly basis.
So, starting with my dad, he's from Wilmington
North Carolina.
Like after graduating high school,
joined the Air Force on his tours would end
up in Korea a good number of times. I want to say at least two to three times.
For my mom, she's from 영광,
which is 전라도.
Eventually she ended up in like wanna say 군산 area.
And that's where my parents met.
'Cause I think my dad was station over there.
No more than two years did she come
to the States and then she had me
or I was born at Walter Reed Army Hospital in DC.
My mom wasn't talking directly to me.
I was always exposed to Korean language
whether that was like her talking to her friends,
her maybe like ordering something
or taking me to the supermarket.
Some of the movies we have, like, we had some
I think we still have some VHS tapes at home.
They're American movies, but the subtitles are in Korean.
My mom's a big Eddie Murphy fan.
And so, like a good number of the films we have are
like any Murphy films with Korean subtitles on them.
What's unique, I think for my experience is that
though I am Korean, I don't consider myself Asian racially
because I don't have that experience.
Outside of other mixed folk,
Nine times to ten, I'm not seen as Asian or Korean.
I don't get as where I'm from in the states.
Like that's a common experience
for a lot of Korean Americans.
Whereas like here in Korea,
I get that question quite often
and it's has that particular connotation.
For me, racial pride's not a thing.
Like I have strong cultural ethnic pride,
but I think racial pride is not really a thing for me.
'Cause I feel like race is more like the external perception
of you when it comes to like, oh like if I were to fill
out the form of like,
oh yeah, what's your race, culture, ethnicity
and nationality.
It's like, okay, racially I'm black, sometimes mixed.
Ethnically I'd say, you know, I'm black US right?
And then Korean, right, or Korean American.
And then nationality is American.
In school, in Preachers County,
which is predominantly black.
My friends were, we're that
we're predominantly black, right?
When I would spend time in Virginia,
it was the other side, right?
Like spending time
with Koreans and Korean Americans, especially in church.
There's all these kind of cliche expressions
about mixed identity as far as like, you know,
best of both worlds and two halves one whole like
that sort of thing.
And kind of struggling on both sides honestly, like.
I think there was a lot of moments where like,
oh, I realized like my mixedness was at play.
I've had a family member on my dad's side say like,
oh like, why are you speaking Korean right now?
Or like, why are you speaking Korean around me?
Like, not explicitly saying like, you're mixed,
you don't do that or anything like that.
It's like kind of implied.
Especially when I was younger, like subconsciously
like there was this sense of like, I need to fit in.
I need to not stand out.
I need to, you know, be around people so I'm not lonely.
You could like notice in my posture
and like how I would talk or like move
like it was very much like, okay,
let me try to fit in as much as possible.
You know, when it came to like culture and things
like sometimes it's like I have to kind of suppress
or like put away some parts of my entity
in order to make sure like, oh I had friends or like I had,
you know, people to hang out with.
Which, you know, super unhealthy, right?
Because it's like I'm putting stuff
in a box that's just like kind of constantly overflowing
and it's like, all right, like, come on, stay in there.
You know?
But it's like that strain that was putting
on me or like that I was going through was like
you know, not needed.
When it came to kind of thinking
about identity and culture personally,
I did not get the chance to learn how to talk
about it or think about it until college.
I think throughout, like as I was growing up,
it was kind of autopilot
like other parts of my identity were more important.
Like, oh yeah, like I'm a student
or like I'm my parent's son.
You know, those types of things.
So, like when it came to culture
and that sort of thing, like yeah, unaddressed or like put
on the back burner puzzle that I would have to solve.
Fortunately when I was in university,
I had the opportunity to be a part
of a student group specifically for mixed folks
and it really like gave me a sort
of foundation to start understanding,
oh like who I belong with.
It really helped shape my thinking as well.
Having the words to describe what's going on
is super helpful in like
understanding the nuance of like race
versus ethnicity versus culture versus nationality.
It's like, it's been really helpful
especially recently.
'Cause I've grown through some changes
especially being out here in Korea.
When it came to spending time
with other Asian Americans more broadly,
I think it was really tough
for me to feel that sense of belonging at time.
Like sometimes there was a little voice
in my head that said like, hmm hmm, this is weird.
Or like, you don't belong here.
You know, like that sense of doubt.
Like I feel good about it now because it was part
of the journey of trying to figure out like who I am
and of course, I got along with the Korean Americans, right?
And like when it came to along hanging out
with Asian American folk, right?
Like I clicked with them more because we had more
of the shared cultural experience even though
like I didn't have the shared racial experience, right?
My ability to learn Korean comes very quickly because
you know, being constantly exposed,
I can kind of sense where like the vowel hits
where the sounds are and that sort of thing
and like what syllables require, what emphasis.
I get a lot of compliments on my pronunciation now,
but then like during church, I remember having some like
pretty like poignant moments of like a kid saying,
it doesn't sound right when you speak Korean.
Now I'm in Korea.
I feel like I had a kind of epiphany moment.
I kind of brought myself back to a sort of feeling
or longing that I had back in college.
I was fortunate enough to do this month-long
program called KASC, which stands
for Korean America Student Conference.
It was like a very life changing experience, right?
The idea was that you took around 20 to 25 American students
and then 20 to 25 Korean students.
You got them together and did a month-long conference
where you would stay overnight, various regions of whatever
of either the US or Korea.
And so like, one week each roughly you would spend
in a different region and like, you know, exchange ideas
about culture and international relations
and then also experience like the host country.
After that experience was wrapped up, I was like
I need to be back here.
Like, I need to come back here as soon as possible.
And you know, during 2020
and work culture kind of shifted and I got
to a place professionally where I'm able to work remote
even across different time zones.
It got me thinking like, oh, like, you know
that dream that's been
on the back burner for like half a decade?
We can take it off the stove,
you know, we can actually make it happen.
And so, once my lease was up in DC,
I went ahead and took a flight and came back here
or came back to Korea after, let's say eight or nine years.
It's been great.
It's, yeah, it's been super freeing as I get more proficient
in the language and being able to practice
and kind of move in different social situations.
It feels good.
My name is Alex Pryor and this is my Korean American story.
(gentle music)