Before I was 22 my life was really simple,
I used to hang out with my twin sister.
We used to go and fly our drones.
We used to walk out dogs together.
We used to do our studying together.
But unfortunately, in 2017, she died by suicide.
So my life from then on just turned to chaos.
I found the simplest things quite difficult.
I found everything I'd learnt before she passed away.
I had to start again.
I had to learn who I was and
how to socialise and how to cope with everything going on in society.
I didn't really have anything meaningful because all the plans I had made
just disappeared.
When my sister left.
Last September
Nicola went into hospital with the intention of ending her life.
It wasn't an emotional decision.
It was a black and white decision.
My twin sister is no longer here, therefore I want to be with her.
She made that decision and we were so frightened that we wouldn't
be able to turn that decision around because she was determined .
There was quite significant concern for Nicola's well being amongst
my professional colleagues.
Her determination to end her life had escalated and the admission
and a subsequent out of county placement and re-admission
were all counterproductive to her well-being.
In lots of respects, it didn't really take into consideration her ASC needs
as well as her mental health needs.
An acute environment is not really conducive
to well being with people with ASC, but you do the best you can.
She was only diagnosed with ASC last year.
She didn't know why she was different.
She didn't know why she couldn't really make friends.
The ASC awareness group, which is something that
the diagnostic team ran for people who have a diagnosis of ASC.
Essentially, the whole process of being in that peer supported group
seeing people with ASC who have very sort of fulfilling lives helped her reframe
her whole perception of it, and it's now she's coming from a position.
This is who I am.
I can't change, so help to accept me.
For me, that's one of the biggest things.
And the ASC specialist counsellor, because Nikki
walked into that room and everything about the environment was ASC friendly.
There were none of those preambles that you have to go through
in a normal counselling situation.
She just walked in and it was all there.
This was a remarkable opportunity to try something different.
And I met with a group of professionals
who were all expressing quite grave concern about her well-being.
And the more I listened, the more I felt
Maybe this is a window of opportunity to effect
change and I wanted the opportunity to offer it.
Bridget came to do this assessment.
She asked what my difficulties were what I felt were helpful.
We looked at the things I enjoyed doing and we worked all of that together
to create a plan for the future that would help me
with the difficulties and the struggles I've been facing.
Ever since I was little I used to climb onto my mum's garden, shed up in trees in the park.
As I got older, I would challenge myself more and I'd become
as I become better at climbing,
I would climb things that I shouldn't have, such as buildings,
things that looking back now were quite dangerous,
a little bit irresponsible, but climbing
now through the PHB and going to the climbing centre, I've learnt
the responsibility behind climbing and that there is a safe way to do it.
And if you're not doing it safe, then the consequences are quite big.
I really enjoy climbing because it's a physical activity.
It's a logical activity, so I have to work on
planning and working out the routes.
It's a bit of a puzzle.
Helps me socialise because I've I spent so much time at the climbing centre.
I'm starting to meet new people.
I understand that when you're discussing a budget for somebody to climb,
I would imagine quite a few people would have sort of been a little bit horrified
because it goes against the norm.
The risk taking with the climbing is massive.
She copes with sensory overload by going up high and being away
from everybody else.
So it wasn't just a case of saying, Nicky, you can't climb or Nicky
the risk assessment for that is just too high.
It was a case of right, OK, you are going to climb.
So the PHB has enabled her to be who she wants to be.
She she agreed to put ending her life on hold to give this a chance,
and she was asked yesterday by a professional was it still on hold?
And she said no. her life had changed completely.
So she has made that decision that it is worth it.
It's worth continuing.So PHB -
yeah, thumbs up absolutely all day long.
I would I would totally agree with that.
I've learnt that climbing for me is a really helpful tool
when I'm stressed, when I'm overloaded
by all of the sensory information, such as if I'm in a crowd,
or if there's lots of noises.
It's a way for me to escape from that and be
if I'm somewhere in a tree or on a wall, then I'm away from people .
People can't talk to me, they can't touch me, they can't disturb me.
It's the only true peace that I get is the only real peace and quiet.
I can sit and enjoy and know that I'm 100% alone and 100% safe.
The first thing is that I actually have a future.
So before there, for me, there was no point in having a future
and I didn't want it.
And now I'm not just looking at what's going on today or tomorrow.
I'm looking at things month ahead and years ahead.
I hope to complete the instructors course and
have a career in that field because I enjoy climbing
and I would like other people to enjoy it as well.
Being able to be creative.
Being able to really, really spend time with a human being and find out
what makes them tick and then use not necessarily statutory services.
We've used some statutory and at some non-statutory.
The beauty of PHB's is that it allows us to look outside of that.
And then you can really have something that's bespoke
and has meaning and promotes recovery and development.
And surely that's what we all want.
It's not the NHS paying for jollies, it's the NHS actually funding
recovery services that work.