what is it good to be congruent and when is a time not to be congruent stay tuned
Damon here with an NLP Gym
NLP congruence the benefits and also the dangers if you haven't already please
click the subscribe to this YouTube channel so you can get these videos on a
regular basis so let's talk about what congruence is in the first place as when
we mean it in NLP right congruence you could think of it as something that is
more about a specific experience and a specific place and state and in that
sense congruence is having your total attention and focus on one
thing
so if I am enjoying just take my vacation it means my mind my head I my
presence is in that vacation and only they're not very present to that
experience our if I'm writing or find in some sort of creative supersuit are even
some sort of work that means all my attention is on that I'm not thinking
about all the things I should be doing or could be doing
there's no other noise or distraction my undivided attention is on that thing so
that in one sense is being congruent another way of being congruent is my my
actions in my behaviors are aligned with the way that I think the way that I
believe the way that I speak what I tell people about myself and their line with
my values and I'm not inconsistent I i say what i do and i do what i say that's
a way of thinking of congruence and when I'm coaching someone and I ask them a
question I look for congruence and what they're saying to what their body is
telling me so say we begin with a problem and at the end of it I might ask
is the problem resolved
do they still have some issues with it are are they whatever it is they want to
be and if I see any hesitation and they still say yes but they're hesitating
well that's in congruent it's not
their word what they're saying is it really matching up with their physiology
basically if it were congruent
yes they wouldn't hesitate their body which shift or anything it would be
their body would say the same thing as what their words are saying so I look
for that when i'm coaching i'm look for that in sales
somebody's hesitating or somebody's not you can tell they're not quite feeling
it but they tell me the opposite i know there's more work that needs to be done
so we want full commitment in something you need to be congruent to do that now
where's congruence not a good thing
well say you decide to embark on a business venture and about halfway
through it you realize either it's not a good investment
it's not something you're enjoying you know something else comes up and this
happens all the time
well to be congruent that means you would stick with it that means you would
go down with the ship even though there's no point in doing that you might
as well stop doing what you're doing and go do something else
this is where your values come in are you align to those values if we are
congruent all the time
let's take the state thing for you know if we're talking about of an experience
where congruent to that experience that we're kind of stuck in that experience
and we can't shift out of it when we need to so if I'm on vacation I'm very
presence of that vacation but in some sort of emergency happens and i need to
go do something else and change my mind in that time I have to be incongruent
for a little bit and step out of the vacation and step into the emergency but
if I was a hundred percent can grow into the vacation that as long as I'm on
vacation I'm ignoring any outside emergencies and that might not be a good
thing until they take you several tries and take you evolving into figuring out
what it is you want to do instead of just sticking with it and I see this all
the time and young people it's something I dealt with and I see a lot of people
young people dealing with it
they've been groomed from the time they were kids to believe that they were
going to be a lawyer or a doctor or something like that so they get into law
school to get into med school and they realize they really don't like this but
they feel like they have to be congruent because this is what they were taught
their whole life that this
the right thing to do this is here my parents were doctors are my parents were
lawyers or what have you and so they stick with it and shirts being congruent
but that's you could spend years of your life doing something you don't want to
do and that is not what you want to find yourself so congruence is good when it
comes to focus congruence is good when it comes to follow through when it's a
worthwhile thing to follow through with what if it's not really who you are if
it doesn't serve your values in congruent and waste years of your life
and we all know that we don't want to do that we want to we want to get into
something and and it takes commitment it takes follow through to succeed at
something and it doesn't mean that just by being congruent it makes it easy it's
not necessarily that's not necessarily true sometimes and it doesn't mean that
you should quit just because something is hard but are you enjoying it is it
worthwhile is it paying off in some way that should tell you whether or not you
should follow through with it outside opinion other people telling you what
you should do and trying to stay can grow into that that's going to get you
into a lot more trouble
so listen to what's going on inside of you and sometimes it's time to not be
congruent and break out of something that could do something else
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real-time also free practices that we hold and remember and one month we have
core transformation this is likely to sell out it will be taught by Mark Andreas
here in santa cruz Mark Andreas is the son of Steve and Connie Andreas
some of the greatest developers and legends in NLP you want to be at
this workshop it will teach you how to transform at the core level for your
coaches this will also this is something you can use in your coaching practice
you can in fact you could face a whole coaching practice just around this model
it's extremely powerful so i hope to see you soon take care
yeah