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- Hey there.
Thanks so much for checking out Coffee with Brett
cheers to you for joining me today.
So I've got a quick question for you.
Are you a nice person?
I feel like you probably are.
I mean, when I think about project managers in general,
I think, yeah, mostly nice people.
And why is that?
Well, if you think about it, it really is a kind role.
You know, project managers work really hard
on behalf of their teams and stakeholders
to guide people and process and projects
just in the right direction
so that we can all share in that feeling of accomplishment
and pride when our projects do wrap up.
We're essentially protectors.
Protectors of our projects, our teams, our organizations
and I mean, really, what's nicer than that
or kinder than that?
Well, here's the thing.
I kind of worry that maybe sometimes you're being too nice.
I mean, it happens
because nice people just wanna do a good job
and at the end of the day, you do wanna gain the trust
and the loyalty of the people that you work with.
I mean, we all know that working with people
who are comfortable and trusting of us
allows everyone to be more productive and more effective.
It also helps them to kind of just make things easier
on projects.
So you do what you can as a nice person.
The thing is, when you're too nice
you end up taking on way too much
or creating problems for other people
all because you wanna be nice.
No, Nope, no, no, no.
It's time that you say no.
Repeat after me.
No.
You don't find yourself in a difficult situation
just because you couldn't say one little powerful word.
I mean, I just said it several times
and I'm pretty sure that I'll say it
several more times today because I've got children.
But you know, you can do it once
or you can do it every once in a while.
You can practice it
or you can just say no when it's warranted.
So today on Coffee with Brett,
I'm gonna talk about how and when to say no.
But before I do that I need you to recognize
that there's a very fine line
between being a leader who is a likable person
and being a leader who's a people pleaser.
You can be both of those things
without taking on too much or without letting people down.
Now I'm not gonna get into all the things you can say no to
or how to judge what you can take on or what you can
because that would just be ridiculous, right?
Like those are things that you need to understand.
I don't know the things that are happening
in your unique situation
and only you can determine what you can actually shoot down
and how you can do it.
Just know that to be an effective leader
sometimes you do have to put your foot down and say, no,
even if it means turning down a good offer
or a teammates idea or whatever it might be.
You know, if you're anything like me, you're thinking,
well, I don't even wanna say no.
Like how can I avoid the situation of having to say no?
Well, that's where I've got you.
I've got five quick tips to help you to try
to avoid that awkwardness.
But recognize how I said try
with a little bit emphasis there?
Yes that's because saying no will be inevitable
to any project manager or anyone who's leading projects.
So lets jump in.
First, establish your role.
You know, we think that folks end up asking
PMs to do random kind of fringe work
because they don't know exactly what PMs do.
So spell that out, make role known and understood.
Show your work.
Things like project plans, communication plans,
task updates, status reports, project health reports,
all of those things should be shown and discussed
because it will establish what you do
but it will also establish the value of your role
and what you do in your role.
And hopefully it'll help you to stop things like,
Bob from marketing asking you
to kind of play a wasteful game of telephone
talking about his specific project feedback
when there are seven other stakeholders.
You know, set some boundaries.
All right.
Number two is a continuation of the first stop.
And it's the set expectations.
You know, the biggest issues and questions on your projects
are likely gonna come from people just not knowing the deal.
So be sure to get your plan spelled out clearly in TeamGantt
and take the time to review and discuss it
with your team and your stakeholders.
Talk about everything, including tasks, assignments,
responsibilities, scope, dependencies,
all of that should be assessed in detail.
And when you do that,
you're likely to get less silly questions.
Like, can we move the deadline
and still keep the project on schedule?
Nope, no, the answer is no.
Right. All right.
Number three. Take your time.
Don't feel like you have to give a yes or no in the moment.
Trust me.
I know project pressure can be real for project managers.
But if you're being pushed to do something
that you think it will have consequences
take the time you need to think, strategize
and really plan out a response.
All right.
Number four. Explain, explain, explain.
So while I might not recommend
starting with an all caps, no in response,
I would recommend gently getting to a no
but walking your audience through your reasoning.
You know chances are, you're gonna put some thought
into something before actually saying no.
So explain that thought.
Mostly I'm thinking about the consequences
and that's what you're probably gonna think about as well.
If a stakeholder asks for a scope increase,
walk them through what it will actually do to your budget
and your timeline or anything else on the project.
You know, sharing your own thought process
is honest and open
and it shows others that you're willing to discuss things.
And maybe even you're open to hearing other ideas
before completely shutting something down and saying no.
All right, that gets me to number five.
And it's the present a plan B.
You know, I remember this time I worked on a project
where the client was pretty forceful, friendly but forceful
and they made a request that would essentially
increase our budget by 200%.
I knew that wasn't gonna fly
but I also knew that they would fight me tooth and nail
to make sure that the scope was a part of the project.
So I sat down on my own and figured out ways
that I could kind of lessen the impact on the team
and the project if we took on that scope.
I didn't have to say no
and I was able to share some creative approaches
and kind of meet my client in the middle
without taking on too much risk
and that helped me from saying no,
it helped me to build a stronger relationship
and at the end of the day, it did make the work stronger.
So you may have noticed that all of those tips rely on you
being an open honest communicator.
I just wanna say that's critical here.
And honestly, it's a characteristic
or characteristics that are really important
for any project manager to embrace.
Alright. You know how I said I wasn't gonna tell you
how to say no, I lied.
There's some phrases on screen here that could help you
in the instance that you do have to say no
and you wanna just be polite, right?
But I'm also gonna run through
some of my own kind of suggested responses to situations.
So a suggestion is gonna pop up on screen
and then you're gonna see my response.
Let's do it.
- [Voiceover] Your stakeholder asks
if they can have an additional day
to review your team's deliverable
without impacting the overall schedule.
- Hey, I understand you need some extra time,
the issue here is that we're really tightly scheduled.
You know, we discussed review timing when we were planning
so that we can do our best to avoid this situation.
And at this point, if you miss a date
but you can't move the final deadline
we're gonna have to find some time
to remove from your future reviews.
I can't ask the team to do their work in less time
because you couldn't meet your commitment.
I'm sorry.
- [Voiceover] Your stakeholder asks
for an out-of-scope request in a meeting
and you're pretty sure you can accommodate it
but you aren't 100% sure.
- Oh wow. That's a really cool idea.
I'm not sure that it'll actually fit into our scope,
so let me take a look at that and speak with the team
about what we can do and I'll get back to you I promise.
- [Voiceover] Your teammate presents an idea
that is completely irrelevant to the project's goals.
- Hey, this is a really interesting idea
but I'm actually a little concerned here
because I'm not seeing how this fits in our goals.
Can you help me to understand it?
- [Voiceover] Someone asked you to do something
that is out of your depth or expertise.
- You know, hey, I'm flattered
that you think I know how to do that.
That's totally out of my depth as a project manager
and really not a part of what any PM does.
So let me talk to our engineers
about what they might do in this situation
and I'll see what we can do.
- [Voiceover] A stakeholder asks you to do something
that would normally take a month and half the time.
- That's a really aggressive timeline
based on my experience.
I'll explore our options and I'll get back to you.
But I do wanna warn you that it's likely not possible.
So I'll see what we can do.
- [Voiceover] A client asks,
if you can add three people to the team
to get the job done faster.
- Okay, So that's a good suggestion, but honestly,
adding resources to a task like this
won't necessarily make it go any faster.
- [Voiceover] A manager asks you to do work
that you've never done before.
- Oh, that's interesting.
I've actually never done that kind of work.
So it's a bit concerning for me.
I mean, I don't wanna drop the ball
or let the team down or let you down,
I'd be willing to give it a shot with some help.
But without that, I don't think it would make sense
for everyone or for the project.
- [Voiceover] A teammate asks you to book a lunch for them.
- Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not your secretary
and I'm not your personal assistant.
I'm a project manager, that's not really what I do.
Booking lunches!
You know, I barely even have time
to book or even have my own lunches.
So you're gonna need to handle that one your own.
So at the end of the day if you're honest
about how you respond.
If you share your thinking and you're open to options
and at the same time you're nice about it,
you can absolutely say no without even saying it sometimes.
That said, you know, don't be bashful.
Say no, when you need to.
Do what's right and everything's gonna work out for you,
for your projects and the people involved.
Hey, thanks again for sitting down with me today.
If you're enjoying Coffee with Brett
and you want some more PM video content in your life,
like this video and subscribe to our YouTube channel
where you'll find a lot more content like this
as well as prerecorded project management classes,
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We also have a ton of free content
and downloadable resources
to help you to manage your projects better
over at teamgang.com.
I hope you'll check it out
and I'll see you on the next episode.
Cheers.
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