woo-hoo-hoo-hoo I can't wait I cannot wait to see how many people call me a
white knighting cook down in the comments for this video what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about
mental health and what I like to do is pull into topics from pop culture or
YouTube in general to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional
well-being so the Internet makes me you subscribe and bring that notification
back by the way real quick and you haven't yet make sure you're following
me on instagram over after we wife so I just put up a brand new giveaway I'm
giving away five free copies of my favorite book on depression and anxiety
from last year and it's called lost connections by Johann Hari all you got
to do to enter is tag friend ask them how they're doing get connected baby so
a lot of you have asked me about two different things recently you wanted to
know my thoughts on surviving r. kelly the lifetime documentary and you also wanted to know my thoughts
on the gillette commercial / ad and this is a way that we can kind of talk about both because I
think I think they're both intertwined in a way and it's crazy the timing of
this thing too right and you know I'm making this video you know because a lot
of this does have to do with mental health if you look at what r. kelly
was doing to women and abusing and the trauma that they went through right or
if you look at masculinity and how we treat women and all of that like this is
important stuff that we need to talk about okay and I know that most of my
audience is female I have about an 80% female audience so I'm glad that I get
to touch on these subjects and you know potentially help some of you out all
right so let's break it down real quick so the Jillette add controversy all
right I can't even believe that this is like a thing but hey welcome to the
world we live in so July they made this ad I'm sure most of you have seen it you
know by now and basically they touch on a few things such as like toxic
masculinity and bullying and the me to movement and all of that right and
there's a bunch of guys out there who are like not all men not all men do this
and don't worry we're gonna touch on that in
a minute then there's a new series surviving r.kelly a lot of you have
asked me to watch that and Tristan and I just sat down and start watching it last
night so we only got to episode two but yeah like it's it's really sad to watch
it's interesting like we're gonna finish the series I might do more videos about
it so stay tuned because I have some questions that I need to ask you about
the series as well alright but anyways let's let's talk about how these are
intertwined and what we could do to make you know this world a little bit better
of a place because here's the thing here's what I was like I was like when
Tristan I wash stuff and my brains always going like we pause it and I
don't like talk to her about things and like the first thing I'll say about
surviving our Kelly is this this is why we need to be better as a society all
right this is why we need to be better okay like I might do a video later on
about you know why are Kelly turned into the you know the thing that he is right
but like you guys like we screw up our kids and then our kids tell me to screw
up screwed up adults all right like let me repeat that for the people in the
back we screw up our kids and then our kids turn into screwed up adults okay
like this is just how the brain works how all this stuff works and we need to
pay better attention to what we're doing and we need to start getting better
right now all right so this is huge all right so I'm glad that Gillette made
this app like what people need to realize what people need to realize is
that abusers do not just wake up in the morning they're like oh you know what I
think I'm gonna start a start assaulting and abusing women I think I'm gonna do
that today that's not how it happens okay like something I'm always trying to
teach you guys especially with like mindfulness and everything like that is
notice the messages that are going in your head so the other day I was doing a
live stream and I was talking about like being mindful of your thoughts and
trying to recognize where your thoughts are coming from alright because I
especially with negative thoughts most of you are negative thoughts aren't even
coming from you they're coming from your mom or your they're coming from your dad
and they're coming from an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend like these thoughts get
implanted in our heads so for many men and young
man not all men but for many men and young men you know these are thoughts
that are implanted by you know Society or even our parents so I love my dad to
death he's amazing he raised me my mom was an alcoholic when I was younger so
my dad raised me right and he did the best that he could but my dad was a
masculine man right and he taught me what it was to be a man so later on in
life when I started evaluating things like I had to question it like I had a
question like is this the man I want to be you know what I'm saying and like you
know my dad just you know when it came to like flirting and by dating and you
know and things like that and you know my dad one of the things that he taught
me was always you know be respectful of women and I'm very fortunate but you see
people like like Jake Paul and Logan Paul you're wondering why they're so
freakin messed up and why all this womanizing is going on and then you look
at their dad Greg Paul like hello is anybody getting this into their brains
yet like again like people don't just wake up and become a crappy person it
happens over time all right so with somebody like our Kelly this happened
over time so I'm going to be doing more videos about the african-american
community here in Las Vegas not Las Vegas here in the United States because
like I've told you I'm half black and this is something that you know we need
to talk about and like there's there's a lot of complicity and a lot of enabling
that happened in our Kelly's life based on the way that you know even
african-american man asked you know what I'm saying like I know like when I'm
around my family like I can see some of that stuff and I have to sit back and
look and say alright you know what I mean and like his here's one of the
saddest things about what happened with you know our Kelly and all of his you
know victims or survivors if you will is that he was being enabled like he had a
bunch of dudes who were like recruiting young women for him he would just I look
over there and his boys would be like yo or Kelly wants to meet with you right
like people knew this wasn't a secret everybody knew was going on but we got
dudes out you're saying whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
let boys be boys let men be man like know if you see your douchey friend
doing something stupid call him out on it right imagine what might have
happened if back in the 90s some of our Kelly's boys would have called him out
like the way I see the Jillette ad is it's in a it's a call to action it's a
call to action for men to be better and I just don't understand the delusion
that people live in where they think this isn't an issue actually let me take
that back I do understand I do understand like you guys I'm not
stupid like you might not be self-aware enough to realize it but why do you
think so many people so many stands come over to my videos defending their
favorite youtubers because when you're looking at them you want them to justify
your behavior all right that's what you're doing like that's
just how it is this is why I teach you guys about confirmation bias you're
trying to find people to act the way that youth you want to act so that guy
over there he's doing it so I can do it too all right
like I know why guys are upset you don't want to be happy you don't want to be
cold out you don't want to have to change all right but this is another
reason why the keemstar situation like upset me like let's talk about this real
quick and sorry this just popped into my head it pisses me off that Q star is
like whoa leave my daughter out of this don't talk about my daughter and people
were bringing up the hypocrisy like keemstar don't you understand that
Erica Costello is somebody's daughter don't you understand that Eugenia Cooney
is somebody's daughter like chill out chill out like you guys this is what
happens it gets passed down through generations so we need to be better and
stop calling each other out so I just put up a pole over on at my community
tab because so many people have wanted me to talk about surviving our Kelly I
get afraid I get so afraid like I'm surprised that my Ellie Mason videos
went as well as they did but like I'm afraid to talk about it because I'm a
guy I'm a guy right so I put up a pole basically explaining
like I don't want to make videos that are insensitive
or might come off as victim-blaming or anything like that and I'm like do you
think I'm the right messenger to talk about this right so most of you said yes
and I asked you to leave comments and explain like like how can I do this
better all right because as many as many people who pass through here and don't
know me I think I'm just some insensitive a whole like I do care about
this stuff but I do want to show this one comment right here because something
that I was talking about like is you know if I'm talking about the signs of
abuse and when a woman needs to leave this comment right here said like how
about you teach men to quit being abusers and I'm like bingo but do you
see what happens when we try to teach that do you see what happens people are
thrown there to let razors in the toilet by the way can we talk about how stupid
this picture is for a second the dude put his Gillette razor in the toilet so
what if two things is gonna happen one he's gonna flush it and have to call the
plumber - he's gonna have to reach in the toilet with his hand to pull it out
like was the meme worth it bro was it worth it now let's talk about the
not all men movement okay as I've explained many times before
there's a part of the brain called the posterior cingulate cortex this is part
of the default mode Network this is our selfish and self-centered brain we think
everything in the world is about us right and I love it I love it so much
like I know people get mad at my titles but I have so much fun so I I have a
series why everyone hates blank so like for example like I have why everyone
hates twisted parentis and there's so many people who like comments everybody
hates you know everybody hates something like I'm not talking about you ordering
the Shane Dawson series I made a video said why we all need to apologize to
Shane Dawson I had so many comments saying I don't need to apologize to
Shane I don't it's like man it wasn't for you baby it wasn't for you okay so
all the guys were like not me not me I've never sexually assaulted a woman
okay cool like you don't like what do you want you want a meadow for that
now everything is about you do you know how much better your mental health would
be if you just realize if you just realize on a daily basis like let me
just say this okay not everything is about you
just once a day once a day maybe have a reminder to set off on your phone just
once a day maybe three times a day for some of you out there who are very
self-centered have a reminder that goes off on your phone that says not
everything is about me Oh interesting interesting how that works right the
last thing I want to talk about is I have a son I have a ten-year-old son so
he's growing up fast but anyways like I remember when my
kid's mom got pregnant and I was deathly afraid of having a daughter I was so
afraid of having a daughter because I know how dudes can be I guess I'm a dude
I was a dude who was growing up you know what I mean and I know about that
masculinity so I was so afraid to have a daughter like I was like man if I have a
daughter she's treated even nearly as bad as I've seen you know my friends or
even the times when I was like being a stupid idiot back in my younger days
like I would lose it right so now I'm raising a son it's my responsibility to
teach him how to be a good man right and what does that mean to me what does that
mean yeah I'm gonna let my boy be up away I'm gonna let my little man be a
man right but that doesn't mean catcalling women that doesn't mean being
a womanizer that doesn't mean trying to you know get
in a position of power to manipulate women that's not what being a man is
right and trust me I get it I was like I know it might not look at it now because
I put on a little bit away but I was a triathlete in high school I did football
wrestling and track how does one manly dude right I was always up in the weight
room actually set some bitch press records you know some other lifting
records and stuff like that I was a manly dude but like dude like I know
what happens in the locker rooms right I know about how guys like to brag to each
other about their you know conquests and things like that like I get it
you know what I mean and this is why I try to teach everybody to work on their
mental health in different ways because I had to get out of
mindset I had to get out of that way of thinking you know so like we need to
teach our young men how to be better people right and I'll revert it back to
keemstar you know what I mean like I need to
think about like what message am i putting out there what is my son going
to see because you know if Kim Sauber sees us sorry bruh but you're a father
you've talked about it but we need to think if his daughter sees his tweets if
she sees his videos is she going to think that it's okay for men to talk to
her that way all right so if everybody remembers the
golden rule of don't be a dick this world will be a much better place all
right and you know best of luck to the guy who's got a fish his razor out of
the toilet but anyways if you haven't commented on my poll yet go comments on
it or leave comments down below I have some ideas to talk about the r.kelly
series in a way that I think won't be you know insensitive a lot of you
recommended that Tristan does it with me to get a female perspective Tristan is
camera shy so she won't be doing that but my mom doctor Randazzo she will be
here this weekend so I'm thinking about doing a video with her to get the female
perspective and she's been in mental health for 20 years now so she's worked
with a lot of abuse survivors and all of that so maybe I'll do a video with her
so if you have questions comments about abusive relationships how to get out of
them what happens or whatever that is let me know down in the comments below
all right anyways that's all I got for this video
oh and don't forget there's a there's a giveaway over on Instagram go go now go
go check it but if you like this video please give it a thumbs up you make sure
you subscribe there bring that notification about because I make a ton
of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on
patreon you are all amazing I will be doing the Q&A either today or tomorrow
so it'll be up this week alright thanks again so much for watching I'll see you
next time