In this video, we're going to be talking about five signs that your breakup is only temporary.
But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not. Because
you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing and wonderful person that you are. And if
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to it, down below. Also, I did want to let you know that we do have our course called
Connect And Commit. It helps you to turn these little, subtle make or break moments with
your ex, from potentially spiraling into really poor situations that cause more division and
challenge down the road and turns them into opportunities for greater connection, greater
bonding, and greater closeness between the two of you.
It doesn't make sense for everyone. It only works in seven specific situations, but if
one of those seven specific situations is what you're going through, it could be exactly
what you're looking for. You can find info for it down below in the description box for
this video. Okay. So let's talk about this video. This is about signs that your breakup
is temporary. The first sign that your breakup with your
ex is only temporary, is if there's been a shift in the dynamic between the two of you,
for the better. That is to say, that breakups happen for all sorts of different reasons,
but usually it's that someone thinks, okay, being out of this relationship is going to
be better for me than being in the relationship. And so, basically I'm asking you, have you
looked at the dynamic of the two of you in a relationship together? And have you said,
okay, that wasn't working, something needed to change? It's not just a matter of trying
harder or whatever, but it's really a matter of, okay, maybe I wasn't being totally honest.
Maybe we weren't communicating very well. Maybe something else wasn't working. Have
things shifted? Have I changed how I'm bringing myself to the interaction? Has maybe the way
that my ex and I have been interacting been different?
Basically, I'm asking you, give your ex a reason to believe that they're not walking
back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place. If you can
do that, it shows that there's been a shift in the dynamic. And that means that, there
very well could be a chance for the two of you to get back together. And this breakup
may not really be a permanent sort of thing. The second sign that your ex and you are only
temporarily broken up is that, you have some sort of positive vision for what being together
in the future might look like. That is to say, you're not just getting back together
because, but it's like, okay, I can see us being back together again. We both can see
that there's some sort of future between the two of us. We both can see that we're better
together than we are apart. We both have similar values. We both know we want the same things.
We both can see that, okay, if we got back together, we could get married. We could have
kids, start a family. We could travel the world together. We could live out some sort
of dream. We could settle down and put down roots somewhere, whatever the case may be.
But you have to have some sort of vision that is pulling the two of you towards wanting
to actually be together again, towards being in a relationship again. It's not just enough
to say, "Well, you ain't got anything better to do. Let's just get together." Right? That's
not very exciting for most people. Give them something to be excited about.
The third sign that your breakup is temporary, is if your breakup was really caused by just
misunderstandings. Sure, we all mess up. We all make mistakes. We all don't communicate
things correctly. We all sometimes misunderstand one another. But if your breakup was caused
by misunderstandings that can be corrected through greater understanding, maybe working
on listening more, maybe working on clearly communicating what you need to communicate
better, or basically just staying more closely connected to one another. Then, hey, that's
something that can absolutely be workable. That's something that people can come back
from. I've seen people do that many, many, many
times over the many years that I've been helping people with breakups. If these misunderstandings
can be corrected, if they're just, hey, we weren't on the same page, but we can totally
get on the same page. Yeah, that's absolutely a sign that this can work, that your relationship
can work, that your break up may only be temporary. Okay?
The fourth sign here, is that the two of you are actually having interactions that are
bringing the two of you closer together. Now, I mean, obviously if you want to get back
together with your ex, a couple of things need to happen. First and foremost, you need
to show them they're not walking back in the same relationship that they walked out of
in the first place. We talked about that earlier on in this video. But second of all, you also
need to show them that it's not just coming back to a fixed dynamic, but it's, we actually
enjoy spending time with one another. Whether that's, joking around, whatever your sense
of humor might be. I know that most couples that I've worked
with have their own kind of little culture, their own little inside jokes and pet names
and things that they laugh about and things like that. Are there little things that can
bring the two of you closer together? Little things that allow the two of you to actually
enjoy bonding and connecting with one another. And are those things that you're experiencing
now? It's not just about, Oh, I remember back in the good old days when we laughed for hours,
but it's, what are we enjoying right now? Okay? It has to feel good right now, in the
present moment. Whatever dynamic there is between the two of you, whatever kind of inside
jokes or whatever you have, make those something that's alive. Something that's enjoyable right
now, because yeah. Great. You can make things work. You can overcome things that weren't
working before. But in addition to that, you also have to
have things feel good, to really inspire someone to want to get back together with you. By
the way, if you do want to learn more about how to make interactions feel good, we do
have an entire video series on what we call Advanced Relational Skills. You can find that
over there in the video card that I will link to for this video, it kind of takes you through
what we call Advanced Relational Skills. These are ways that you can improve the quality
of the connection between the two of you and create more understanding, more empathy, all
sorts of great things. Anyway, check that out. If you're new to us,
it's worth a shot taking the time to do all that. If you have been following me for a
while, you probably already have checked it out, but still definitely worth checking out
if you don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. And that brings us to the last of the
signs, at least for this video, that your breakup is temporary. This is by no means
an exhaustive video by any stretch. There's probably countless signs out there, but we're
only talking about five in this video. And that the fifth one would be, that there's
a mutual understanding between the two of you. Both of you are really trying to understand
one another, really trying to have good conversations and good connection between the two of you.
Oftentimes, the thing that really kind of builds a wall between people, is resentment,
contempt, hurt feelings, that have just been not addressed and they've sort of festered
and turned into this really bad thing where they really start to resent and hate their
ex. Right? I've seen people that have left really cynical
comments about like, "Oh, never try to get back together with your ex, your ex and you
broke up for a reason." "I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better." All that sort
of stuff. Right? And these are clearly people that have not moved on from the past. They
are still very much entrenched in a lot of bad feelings, negative emotions, and it's
not helping them. Definitely not what I would actually call moving on. But if you are actually
at a place with your ex where neither one of you is seeing each other as some sort of
evil, super villain or something, but it's like, okay, yeah, you're a human being. I'm
a human being. We made some mistakes. Let's try to get past it. Let's try to understand
one another. Let's try to actually have a good connection between one another and let's
just be civil, be nice to one another and all of that.
If both of you can kind of get to that point, it really shows that there's a really promising
future between the two of you. Okay, yeah, there could still be emotional hangups, there
could still be misunderstandings, there could still be communication issues, but it shows
that there's a good foundation of the two of you trying to connect, trying to actually
find some way to enjoy each other's company. And again, if that's something that you want
some help with, we do have our course called Connect And Commit. It does help you with
those seven specific areas. You can find information on it down below, in the description box for
this video. There's also other ways that you can work
with us too, down in the description box as well too. But I hope you've enjoyed this video.
Once again, if you have not just yet, hit that thumbs up button for the YouTube algorithm,
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feature they added there. But yeah, once again, my name is Clay. Thank
you so much for watching. Hope you found this video helpful. If you do want to learn more
about those advanced relational skills, be sure to check out this video playlist right
over here, or you might want to check out this video over here, but thank you so much.
Please take care and I'll talk to you next time.