Ever wanted to carry your team to victory and to have way more gold than anybody else in every game?
Ever wanted to get your full item build in less than 37 minutes while Zyra, Janna, Leona, Diana, Fiora and Mama can't even afford a gatorade to fill up their empty slot?
Well GG (guys and girls), today's your lucky day because I'll show you how to play...
Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to be the most greedy fuckabish in all the League.
You need to open the game with a great firework by sending your suicidal bird right in the enemies' faces.
Then, your job is to finish off any fuckabish that Alistar carefully headbutted to you.
Notice that early game, you won't deal a lot of damage because you bought this, that and that for more gold income instead of other items that deal damage.
However, you'll deal enough damage to kill your twin sister or a Leeroy Jenkins Leona with ease, no problem!
By sacrificing a bit of damage early, you'll be rewarded late game because you'll have no problem to kill a stunned Diana and to shoot 4 arrows to Ezreal's knee for a successful solo threesome.
You will also be able to have a one night stand with that Yorick without moving from your spot.
You will also even be able to send Zyra back to your garden without letting her make a single move.
You will also even as well be able to warn that girly fox to never leave Naruto's manga ever again.
You will also even as well no problem be able to kill Ezreal once again before he escapes to a safe spot.
And let that kiddo live because he only knows how to run away.
Since this kiddo is back for more, you can easily kill him without even trying.
What's more? You can harass that alien without killing her so you can shoot even more arrows to her knee later on.
Your Suicidal Bird's first ability lets you gain bonus gold for EVERY kill you make and it must be maxed first.
This skill is great because it works on minions,
on the golem's offspring,
on the kids that the red lizard babysit for 1G/hour,
on the blue golem's cousin
and even on enemy champions.
And that is why you should KS your team by last hitting a greedy Graves,
a poking Fiora,
a Leona in a lane,
a fail ninja Leona in the brush,
a dancing Katarina giving a freeshow,
an underwear man,
a blind fuckabish,
a Diana chased by What-The-Shit monsters,
a running Draven
and Garen's best friend.
If you do that, you can send that underwear man flying to heaven, no problem!
Your Suicidal Bird's second ability lets you send your pet to scout an area to spot any fuckabish trying to ambush you while you're taking down the enemy's tower.
It can also be used to jungle faster than ever if you're lazy to walk in every camp to smack these guys.
If that skill is on cooldown, don't hesitate to Flash here and there to (WHY HELLO THERE) without losing a single second to walk here.
If that's not enough, you can take Clairvoyance and use Frodo's stalker to (ARE YOU READING THIS?) even more.
Given that your Supersized Arrow gives you vision when you use it,
you could waste it to gain a brief vision on the enemy's jungle camps to make more pocket money.
Your Lucky 7 skill is awesome to piss off your team even more because you can KS anyone from far away.
Be it a greedy Graves,
a running Ezreal,
a graciously kicked Diana in the ass by that perverted monk,
a weed that doesn't know that Ashe's arrows can penetrate the wall
and a Chinese Spear that didn't see Ashe attack him with his small eyes.
If you want to finish off an enemy like a boss, Flash-Lucky 7-Ignite combo that fuckabish and go back to farming.
Speaking of farming, your Lucky 7 can be used to shoot several minions at the same time to farm faster than ever.
Your Supersized Arrow is the best skill you have to get assists and it should always be used on a fail counter jungle Zyra to let Jax savagely jump on her,
on a far away teamfight to help your teammates finish off a dying fuckabish
and on a dying kiddo by doing an ultimate combo.
But, if you're a jerk like me, you will use it to KS a teammate when she's about to die or on your twin sister enjoying a hot foursome.
Don't hesitate to use it on a dashing girly fox trying to towerdive you,
on a Ponyta to save your beloved rock solid dude
and on a Yorick spamming master just when he's about to respawn from death to piss him off.
If you want a sure-kill, hide there and Slow-Lucky 7-Supersized Arrow combo that Zyra to have a quickie with her.
Use your Supersized Arrow on a Diana hiding in a brush, Ghost to catch-up with her, Lucky 7 to damage her, Flash there to dodge a grab from Blitzcrank and kill that wild woman.
Buttfuck the brush with your Buttfucking Friend until Veigar facecheck this brush to Lucky 7-Supersized Arrow-Slow combo him to send him back to the Final Fantasy world.
Stun that shitty rat in the brush that doesn't want to recall and finish your dirty foursome in beauty.
Do not let that Diana walk off because if she's able to farm even a tiny little bit, you can say goodbye to your victory for this match.
In early teamfights, you won't deal any mega damage, but it's more than enough to kill some greedy fuckabishes trying to towerdive a dying flying woman
without letting any enemy survive to have an easy Triple Kill.
That's right! To kill the enemies, you must shoot a lot of arrows to the knee before they fall in the battlefield.
And that is why you must stick with your Buttfucking Friend to be able to kill them, no problem!
Don't worry! If you think you need some mega damage early on, you're mistaken because you can ninja the enemies from the back to save your poisonous pet.
Now that you made enough golds with these three awesome items and with your Suicidal Bird skill, you can finally sell them to buy The Bloodthirster, a Last Whisper and a Guardian Angel...
Hmmm...never mind.
Let's party with a Trinity Force to deal tons of damage, right Phreak?
Now that you have your full item build in less than 37 minutes, you can easily kill anyone in a teamfight, chase after a running cutie to not let her escape from your one night stand
and to catch-up with your twin sister to have a Double Kill.
You can also Supersized Arrow the enemies, Ghost to catch-up to them, target that kiddo that obviously wants to Flash out of the base and have a solo one night stand with Diana
while pirate boy walks off to an unknown destination.
If your Buttfucking Friend plays that blind champion, back off a bit while attacking the enemies to save him, finish off that greedy Fiora, move on to greedy Fiora's girlfriend
to save your Buttfu...to revenge your Buttfucking Friend, damage that yellow Super Saiyan and switch your target to that faker trying so hard to kill you.
Shoot your Supersized Arrow on the enemies to help your team catch-up with them and turn back to kill that alien that tries to ninja you from the back.
If you follow everything demonstrated in this video, you will have so much spare gold that you'll be able to switch end-game items whenever you want.
And, when you're winning your games, don't forget to shoot a firework to celebrate your victory.
That's it for today, people!
Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.
Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I'll only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.
Ciaossu!