I was thinking about Ursula, asking the question at the very end last night. You
were asking me the question about debts and whether I
felt just guilty because of them or whatever and if I was motivated by guilt.
No, really it was the Spirit undoing the pride. Then Noel
was talking to me today, where she had... this would be maybe not seen as a sickness symptom. But, we could use
relationship issues, or health Issues or anything. But she was telling me today, that she had a time in her life when she was
$30,000 in debt. It felt very, very heavy and I said, oh maybe you'll bring that up
today for Ursula. That is something that really strikes so many. You don't have a
diagnosis of cancer, but if you have a debt and you're feeling the burden and the weight.
What did you, do when you found yourself
$30,000 in debt?
Yeah, back to that
lineage of causation. I
experienced debt as almost like this weight.
Every time I think about, oh $30,000 in debt, it was a little more than $30,000. I
would feel heavy and I would feel burdened by the weight of it.
Then I began to go back in my mind. Okay,
if that feeling of heaviness is not anything in the external. Then, I
must be feeling heavy.
In other words,
the weight was the internal feeling that I am deficient, I am guilty, I'm lacking.
Then the out picturing of it, that I
dreamed up in my dreamscape, was debt at that time.
The debt was not the cause of the weighty feeling. The weighty feeling was the cause of the debt.
In that, I just got such a
illuminative feeling of, I don't have a debt problem. There is no problem out there.
It brought me so quickly to accessing those deeper feelings and
in doing that inner work.
This is at a period where I
had very little income. So, I did not have a lot coming in. I also had a lot of debt.
Then through a series of three amazing miracles, my debt was cleared in eight months.
From that period of really meeting the internal belief in debt and
in this feeling of obligated.
That there's something wrong with me and I owe it to God and everyone to make up for it.
To compensate for it, to deliverer, to prove that I'm not that criminal
who has done something terribly wrong.
So, the undoing internal...boom, boom, boom
Very unexpected
evidence of
financial support.
Hugely unexpected. As a matter of fact, you could have fooled me, that those would show up and they did.
So, the external re-arranged itself pretty quickly.
So, these are all great examples.
Whether, we're talking about what seems to be significant debt.
The ego will then go,
you should feel heavy and you will feel heavy for a long time to come to get out of this
one. It's like, you're not under a blanket here, you're under layers and layers of heavy rugs of
debt. You see how it terrorizes the mind by projecting it out into the future. A very dark
dismal future. It's the same with relationship. If you've had extreme relationship difficulties, and you've had multiple
partners, and lots of flare-ups, and emotions, and whatever.
You have to start to say,
wow it can't really be that these relationships are the problem. It just means that they're part of a distraction for
facing something inside.
It's this causation thing that Noel was mentioning.
The basic underlying assumption underneath it is, I've got problems, and they're
problems in the world, and
I'm gonna have to do lots, and lots of very complicated
things to try to extract myself from a very, very, very
tangled mess. It's the way that it seems on the surface. When you start to say, wait a minute, no,
no, no, no, this can't be that way. It must just be an invitation for me to go much, much deeper
inside. If I'm really willing to do that, authentically, to go
much, much deeper inside, the Spirit will give me the means of support. The people, the symbols,
everything I need. If it's such a glorious purpose, maybe I've been avoiding this looking Inside for
thousands of years.
We'll say many lifetimes.
When most people think of one lifetime, it can
seem like a pretty long time. But, when you think of thousands of years at avoiding a particular
solution of going inside. Then, once you have that insight...
Like that $30,000 plus debt, it was gone in 8 months because there was such an intense focus on
tapping into the feelings and what was below those feelings. The little chart that she laid out, she was delighted to say
oh this was like you're little chart. Your rings, it was very similar.
What that is, in her sense.. The heart speaking, giving her
intuitively a map of the mind or a map with consciousness. Then saying, okay,
you've got to get your causation straight. What you seem to
have, or do, or
perceive, is really the bottom of the line. It's really the
end point. It's not the causation at all. You see how different that is from the typical human belief?
That oh, I would be much happier if I didn't have this debt, if I didn't have these symptoms, if I didn't have...
That's what much of your life was.
Thinking, if I just see the right specialist and I can just be lifted from this specific
problem, that will make my life so much more easy. The ego's like, okay..
Find a temporary
solution there. It just shifts over here, try this one,
or try this one, or try this one.