Like a fine wine, an INFJ’s true personality and beauty comes to surface over time, and only for
the right people. In fact, they say no matter how long you’ve known someone with this personality
type, you never really know them. So.. is this done intentionally? Do INFJs have something to
hide or does their secretive nature compensate for their difficulty in setting boundaries?
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Alright, let’s get right into the video starting with..
Number 1: They use secrecy as a defense mechanism
Depending on the situation and the surrounding energies of the environment, INFJs can sometimes
come off as a little cold and aloof. However, the reality of the matter is that they tend to
subconsciously put up this external barrier to hide their deeper, more sensitive nature.
Sometimes what seems like intentional secrecy and reserved behavior is simply
the INFJ attempting to process their surroundings. In fact,
this is most true when facing the challenge of observing new environments and meeting new people.
When this sharp-eyed personality type is busy analyzing new behaviors, body language,
and surroundings, all while subconsciously taking on the energies of the people around them,
sharing anything about themselves becomes their last priority. Plus, they much rather
understand someone else on a deeper level than to feel exposed in any way, which brings us to..
Number 2: They naturally take on the roll of a therapist
Confidentiality, professionalism and all, INFJs are the original on-demand therapists of the MBTI
community. Without even realizing it, they can sense the need for an open ear or a shoulder to
cry on (from a distance of course.. never enter the INFJ’s personal bubble). All jokes aside,
this naturally empathetic type tends to not only sense when someone needs a therapeutic moment with
their understanding energy, but they can’t help but to try and make it the safest possible place
for that individual to feel comfortable. The ironic thing is that since INFJs tend to take
the back-seat of the conversation, some people will automatically view them as having no issues
themselves. And of course the honest INFJ doesn’t want to portray a false narrative through their
silence. However, when they choose to not discuss their own struggles, people seem to feel as if
they're in more stable hands. It’s as if they subconsciously feel more at ease knowing the
information isn’t over-burdening the receiver. And so, the INFJ resorts to keeping their mouth closed
about their own lives and their ears wide open to really understand the experiences of others.
Number 3: They often contradict themselves
If you know anything about the INFJ personality type, one thing that’s for sure is that they are
known to be one of the most contradicting types. Often referred to as a walking contradiction,
the INFJ’s sense of reasoning and understanding has many facets, with some often contradicting
others. A prime example of this would be their constant dilemma between needing to socialize
with humanity and needing solitude. Or that they tend to have a noticeably old soul, yet an even
deeper child-like fascination that puts their wise logic to shame. An INFJ’s paradoxical nature makes
it difficult for them to say simple statements without elaborating in great detail. Nothing is
ever cut and dry or black and white. Heck, their conclusions are rarely even conclusive. Everything
an INFJ thinks about or attempts to come to terms with just results in surfacing deeper questions.
And so, sometimes it’s easiest for this type to not even get into their opinions, especially if
they fear they may freak someone out or come across as a hypocrite. Which brings us to..
Number 4: They seriously fear being misunderstood
The one thing every INFJ seeks out in the people they feel called to confide in is an open-mind.
With a deep fear of being misunderstood, this already reluctant type requires a clear
no-judgment zone in order to feel even remotely conformable. And since this is quite a lot to
ask of the average person, keeping private is usually the easier route to take. Because
INFJs use their dominant function, introverted intuition, as their main decision making factor,
they often choose intuitive hunches over lack of physical evidence. And since intuition is not only
seriously unpredictable, but also unexplainable. Sometimes to the point of not even understanding
it themselves. So, whether they’re taken for a hypocrite, a boaster, a weirdo, less intelligent
than they really are, or the worst of it all, impolite.. The INFJ knows there’s a fine line
between actually getting across what they want to say and screwing it all up in the process.
Number 5: They know they take an odd approach to life
So, we’ve explained the point of INFJs fear being misunderstood, yet contradictingly,
they seem to also fear being understood. What would it be like for someone to really understand
them? Would it feel violating? Because INFJs are so familiar with not relating to others and others
not relating to them, they become convinced that their approach to life is absolutely taboo. They
know if they share what’s actually on their minds or express their latest interests,
they’ll probably be challenged on it due to their out-of-the-box nature.
One redditor explained this perfectly by saying “Secrecy is such a natural thing for me. One
example would be I haven’t told my parents or friends I’m learning another language just
because it feels like it’s not worth the hassle and I’d just rather do everything on my own.”
Number 6: They can’t freely speak about themselves
Introverted and considerably humble, the INFJ simply hates talking about themselves. And so,
although some facts, inner thoughts and opinions may rise to the surface on occasion, you’ll rarely
hear an INFJ repeat a story about themselves. In fact, when it comes to talking about themselves or
even a specific situation, the first question an INFJ asks is “what do you want to know?” Whether
it’s about their latest projects, a new job, or anything else that most people would happily
dive into explaining. The INFJ won’t open up with free-range. They need specifics because
they genuinely don’t know what people care to know, and the last thing they want to do is talk
someone’s ear off about themselves. On the rare occasion, the roles are reversed, where the INFJ
does take on the role of ‘sharer’ rather than ‘listener’. And almost everytime this happens
they end up really regretting oversharing, even if they’ve only shared the slightest of details.
Number 7: They unintentionally leave out major details
Speaking of needing prompts and questioning to freely talk about themselves, the one who asks
the most questions tends to be the one who gets to know the INFJ the fastest. Because of their
big-picture view, they have a tendency of leaving out certain details without even realizing it.
Someone who can dissect those vague answers are the ones that usually get the INFJ to
spill. However, there’s some rules to this because INFJs can easily shut down if they
feel like they’re being put on the hot seat. Another rule would be genuinity. If
there are ingenuine questions being asked just for the sake of making conversation,
this observant type can sense it from a mile away.. and will then act accordingly.
Gentle prompting and appropriate curiosities is the way to go. In fact, a good conversationalist
can really help the INFJ feel less secretive themselves. Because as much as they’re considered
an overly-private personality, there are probably some things they’re just forgetting to share.
Number 8: Their introverted nature can seem suspicious
The most ironic thing about the INFJ’s secret-like nature is that their general
way of living can seem secretive. They tend to have some social habits that can seem rather
questionable to some.. Sometimes leaving a weary feeling of suspicion. People may
wonder why they seem so outgoing and friendly at work, but never want to meet up afterwards. Or
why they finally showed up to a work-function but want to leave considerably early..People
may wonder why it takes the INFJ so long to answer texts or why they always let their
phone go to voicemail. Simple little things that allow this sensory-sensitive type some space for
their highly-nagging need for solitude can seem very suspicious to some people. When in reality,
the INFJ of course isn’t meaning to seem secretive, mysterious, or disinterested. But
in fact, they must hold some level of distance and don’t really know how to explain why.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video.. So, if you’re an INFJ, would you consider yourself to
be a secretive person? Let us know in the comments below.. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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