(suspense music)
(person screaming)
(screams continue)
(kids screaming)
- What?
What's going on? What's wrong?
- There's a spider.
- There's a spider?
- Yeah.
- Okay, I thought someone was being murdered.
- It's right over there.
Can you go kill it?
- No, I'm not gonna kill it.
Spiders are good for the house.
- No, they're not.
They jump on my face and then bite me.
- No.
I've never heard of that happening.
- Can you see it?
- Yeah.
Oh, no.
- What?
- It's a whole nest.
- [Girl] What are you doing?
- I'm gonna kill it.
- Don't kill it.
- You just told me to kill it.
- Well, we want you to kill it,
but we don't want you to kill it.
- Yeah.
- Okay I'm just gonna kill it.
- I can't watch this.
(door closes)
- Hey.
- Oh, Hey!
- What you got there?
- Oh!
Nothing.
- Doesn't look like nothing.
- Okay, yeah.
Its a...
It's a spray.
- [Spider] Is it spider murdering spray?
- Look, I, I don't like this anymore than you do.
- Murdering me and my family.
You dislike that as much as me?
- No, that's not.
Okay, it'd be different if you were outside.
Okay? Like in the yard, in the wild,
but you're inside the house.
- Yeah.
I've been here for like three months,
killing mosquitoes and pill bugs,
and all sorts of other pests for you.
(bug smashed)
- [Father] Yeah, and I appreciate that.
- You have a funny way of showing it.
- Dad?
What's going on?
- [Father] Don't worry.
I'm handling this.
- Why does he always have to be so dramatic?
- Are those your beautiful children?
- Yes.
- Woo!
You got a lot of nerve my friend.
I would never harm your children.
- Actually, that's not true.
Okay, because you, or maybe it wasn't you,
maybe it was one of your kind.
- My kind?
- Don't say-
- Don't make that what?
I mean my kind.
- Look you crawled inside my daughter's shoe
a couple weeks back,
and then when she put the shoe on, you bit her.
- That wasn't me.
All right?
But I will acknowledge
that we have a complicated relationship with shoes.
- Okay, so you, you see where I'm coming from.
- Are you suggesting that because one of "my kind"
made a little boo boo on your daughter's foot,
that the appropriate response is to massacre
my entire family.
What are you? The leader of a drug cartel?
- Look, your little nest here is gonna hatch.
Okay? And then there's gonna be,
there's gonna be hundreds of you.
All over the house.
And that just creeps me out more
than I can even put into words.
- You are such a snowflake.
- I can't have a spider infestation inside my house.
- We're in your garage.
- [Father] Sure, for now.
But soon, you'll be in the foyer.
Then, you're in the living room.
And then, you're in the kitchen,
before I know, the whole place is overrun with you.
- Listen, we'll go outside.
Just leave us alone until my baby's hatch,
and then we'll be gone.
- I'm sorry, but I can't trust that.
- When have I ever lied to you?
- We've never actually spoken.
- True.
True, that's a good point.
You're a psychopath, you know that?
- I'm a good person.
- That's a funny thing to say,
when you're about to murder my entire family.
- I'm not murdering you, I'm exterminating you.
- Oh!
Oh my mistake.
- Look, you are in my house.
Okay, this is my house,
and you have come here uninvited.
(spider laughs)
- That is quite the immigration policy.
Did you get that from Homeland security?
- Whoa!
Whoa! I'm very progressive.
Okay? I'm very supportive of immigration.
- Oh, sure you are,
until they show up at your house
and you start exterminating them
while you tell them you're such a great person.
- That's not fair, they're people.
- What am I?
- [Father] You're a pest.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry you had to hear that.
- I didn't, I didn't mean that.
Okay? I'm-
I think I just got
- Caught up in this whole crazy thing.
- [Father] I know we're all out here just trying our best.
- It's a little sticky.
- Maybe we can live in harmony.
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's-
It's a-
It's a difficult time for all of us.
It doesn't matter where you're from.
Who you are.
It's just hard, right?
And I think-
What I'm-
Think-
What I, I think what I want you to know,
What I'm-
What I want to communicate to you
is that I think I speak for my family,
which might be a hundred,
or a thousand,
we think that you are a really good guy.
- Wow, thank you.
- Really?
- Okay, I-
- What?
- I didn't mean,
you went for me, right?
- I didn't went for you.
There was no "wenting" anywhere.
That was, I was trying to reach out and connect.
- You touched my arm.
- That's how you connect.
It was basically an embrace.
- I took it as an attack.
I didn't even think, it was like a,
It was just my reptilian--
brain -- that’s not offensive to you, is it?
- Speechless, I don't,
I don't know what to say.
- I'm a monster.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
♪ Feed the flowers ♪
♪ Watch them grow ♪
♪ Water them so that they know ♪
♪ Feed the flowers ♪
♪ Watch them grow ♪
- Dad, what are you doing?
- Oh, hey guys.
Yeah, no, I'm just building a little spider refuge.
Yeah, so they can be safe and live happily.
Yeah, there's lots of great things.
This is the pool
where they can do their Aquasize exercises, yeah?
This is the screening room
where they can watch spider themed movies, like,
like Arachnophobia or that one scene in Home Alone,
where Marv puts the spider on Harry's chest,
do you remember?
- Are you feeling okay?
- And this is the well where that kid fell down
three years ago.
Legend has it, he's still down there.
And this is the situation room where the spiders
are planning to overtake the world.
Watch out for that one.
You wanna be on the right side of history for that.
- Okay, we're gonna go get mom.
- [Father] Spiders love gardening.
Rutabagas, cabbages.
Oh, sorry.
I forgot a plant over here.
♪ Feed the flowers ♪
♪ Watch them grow ♪
♪ Water them so that they know ♪