Daniel Calvisi, Script Doctor, Writing Coach and Author: I just saw Oppenheimer
and Christopher Nolan has a lot of expositional and explanatory dialogue…
Film Courage: What is on-the-nose dialogue?
Dan: On-the-nose dialogue is dialogue that is generic, it is describing something that
we could easily see that is clear in the scene. It's explaining something
it's just kind of like lazy dialogue that doesn't show that character's
voice. Film Courage: Is there ever a time when it's okay to write on-the-nose dialogue? Dan:
Every now and then you may have a complicated sequence that you want to help the reader
check in and kind of orient themselves so you might have a character say something
Why did you bring…I told you to bring the red car? Why did you bring the blue car?
So then that reminds the reader that Oh, they switched cars back there remember that so you
might want to plant something that is a bit on-the-nose and I don't feel like a writer
should feel the pressure to write [Aaron] Sorkin-esque dialogue for every character
every single character doesn't have have to have incredibly stylized dialogue
the show Succession does somehow they get away with it every character is clever and makes
incredible quips just off the top of their head and every character has really genius put downs
of other people but somehow it works on that show but it doesn't work in most scripts where
you don't want your characters to talk the same you definitely don't want them to have the same
style of dialogue it can it be done almost if it's kind of like making fun of itself
like kind of a self-reverential dialogue or or almost trying to I don't even know what
the word would be but just certain things that are just I wouldn't say campy but you're trying
to almost make it a joke and so it's over the top on-the-nose dialogue because it's sort of
like a joke on itself I mean you could there's a there's playing with the genre or winking to
the audience that you might want to do yeah it really I mean it really depends on the material
sure what if you had said earlier that the character should sound separate from each
other what if a writer is getting the note that all of their characters are sounding the same
but they think no these are all individuals I've gotten that note too it's tough because when you
read your own work they seem distinctive but to other people sometimes they don't
you can it might help to write down back stories for your characters
it helps to read it aloud it helps to have a reading with friends I do readings over Zoom
now so it's really easy to do and just to hear it spoken out loud I think does really help
but I think the main thing is to know your character's goals and their wants
in general and then also in that particular scene so then that will inform how they speak if they
want this out of that other character they would talk in this way because they're trying to maybe
sway the other character ideally the audience is in on that too it knows their wants that
was something that David Mamet always said he said “The only thing an actor needs to know
is what they want in the scene and ideally the audience knows that too.” Doesn't always
have to be I mean maybe you want to surprise us Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, Vince Gilligan
and the writers on those shows, they do a really interesting style of discovery where at the end of
each scene comes kind of like the reason why the scene existed like it's that moment of discovery
that we didn't see coming and that that's truly the thing that advances the story before that
there's just really compelling character work and compelling dialogue but at the end of the scene
we realize oh that's what that's what he meant when he said that earlier and that's what they
were going for and oh I didn't see that coming there's some kind of discovery that's how Walt
is going to get out of this trap you'll see it if you watch especially Better Call Saul
there's always that kind of discovery that they build up to in a scene and it's really great work
how does the character's internal and external goal factor into their dialogue
it's very key for their dialogue it's very important the in the external goal is their
action goal their physical goal that they need to achieve kind of like the a story goal
maybe it's the most obvious or most visual goal and then the internal like it says it's
going to be more emotional it might be the love interest it might be their family or it might be
just kind of a secondary active goal but it's not as important as the as the external unless later
they flip and maybe the internal becomes more important than the external if your character
is external and internal goal I think it's really going to help you write your dialogue because then
you're writing their dialogue to show what they want and to get them actively toward their goal
we're Ascent I mean we're essentially selfish people so when we speak it's because we're
trying to get somewhere we're trying to get something so it really helps to know their goals
what are your thoughts on monologues and screenplays don't make them too long
I mean I think maybe one or two long dialogue passages are okay but for especially for new
writers you don't want to have super super long dialogue blocks and too many monologues just
saw Oppenheimer and Christopher Nolan has a lot of expositional and explanatory dialogue but it makes
sense because they're all scientists and they're going back and forth about all of these scientific
topics and they're just giving detail after detail and it's you you are okay with it more
because visually he's a stunning director the big screen experience is important to him and I saw in
the theater and it is interesting to watch but on the page I'm guessing there's just it would just
be so much long long long dialogue on-the-nose dialogue scenes with so much exposition and I'd be
like oh my God when are they going to stop talking about fission versus fusion so a newer writer who
doesn't have that track record who isn't known for something like Aaron Sorkin might be known
for monologues but you're not so you really want to keep the dialogue as tight as possible maybe
with the a few flourishes every now and then maybe you do have a key monologue once or twice
in your script that ideally it captures theme it explores the theme what your story is about
I didn't see Ti West's X [Editor’s note: The film is NOT X, the film is Pearl] but I've heard on
Twitter I've seen people just raving about I think her name was Mia Goth her ending sort of
monologue and they just said yeah I've seen that either okay yeah but I mean that's tricky to end
a movie on a monologue and have it work that is tough
I actually have a client now he has a very specific line he wants to end his whole
feature screenplay with and I don't think it works because I think it's two on-the-nose and
it's him making a point it feels like the writer is making a point and I said it pulls me out
and we're supposed to feel good for this character they have achieved their goal they
have come into themselves and they are more confident now and we're happy for that arc
and then he has this last line in which it's really negative he's like calling out someone
and basically saying forget you and he likes it I don't like it I think it's too negative because
it's a it's mainly a comedy the script so it's a tough endings are tough but there's a film called
Barbarian also that was another low budget horror film and I don't think they really had a strong
ending it just evolved into kind of fighting just physical blocking and I think it would have been
great if they had worked on the script maybe a little bit longer and worked on that ending.