(instrumental music)
- New York City is a very hot destination,
but visiting New York can be extremely expensive.
A hotel can be anywhere between 100
200, 300, $1000,
so I'm trying to find a good, fancy, cheap hotel.
That's why
I'm gonna stay at a pet hotel.
So I'm gonna stay at the dog hotel for 24 hours,
and I'm gonna review the dog hotel experience
for a human being, let's check it out.
All right, so I got a nice little lobby.
Already first impressions, smells fresh.
Oh, complimentary snacks right here.
Little dry.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, you'll be staying with us.
- Is there any way I could get some water?
- I can get you some water.
- Okay, can I get some water real quick?
- Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
- Here's your water.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- You got it.
- Thank you, okay.
So you guys have only doggy bowls, right?
- Yes, only doggy bowls, and the water
is cold and spring, not tap.
- That's delicious water.
I never knew water would taste better out of a doggy bowl.
What are my options?
You guys have any rooms available?
- We have three different suite options.
We have tons of them available.
I can take you down now if you want to see.
- Yeah, let's go check them out.
By the way, do dogs have any herpes or anything
that I can get from the doggy bowls?
- No, not at all.
- Wow.
- So these two right here are our uber suites,
these are the biggest.
These are 209 a night.
- Scale of one to 10 how comfortable this bed is,
I'm gonna give it a 10.
We got a little teddy bear here that-
oh no,
okay um, do you see this?
Little um, oh!
Hole in its back.
And then you have treadmills for the ADHD dogs?
- This is our gym called Pant,
so it's good for the dogs who have a little more energy.
We really use it in the winter too
when the salt is out there, it's bad for their paws,
so they like to go on it, release some energy.
This is a step below, this is our sensational suites,
and these are 129 a night.
- And they're that close to the rich dogs?
- [Woman] Yeah.
- Is there ever like a little like, they stare out
from each other's glass to be like,
you little rascal.
- They usually pass out.
When they come down for dinner, they eat their dinner
and they go right to bed.
- Those little paw prints for crazy nights.
You know those hotel reviews where they like
flash the light and they see all the sperm?
Here if you flash the light,
you just see a lot of dog prints.
(dramatic music)
- And this is our most basic.
This is our standard suite, and it's just good
for dogs who are usually, you know,
rescue dogs who don't like cages,
but it's just our basic.
This is 89 a night.
- 89 a night, so that's cheaper
than most hotels in New York.
- Yes it is.
- This
is the life.
Okay, this dog is like, sh, calm down.
Is it living in the ceiling?
Where is that noise coming from?
This one's really comfy, and it's cheaper
than most hotels in New York,
so I think I'm gonna go with this room.
How many dogs do I think peed in this bed?
Well actually, I don't care,
because I'm gonna be peeing in this bed tonight, so.
(barking)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be quiet.
(barking)
This is better than my apartment.
In New York City, you can't get a room this big.
Do you think it's gonna be weird
doing a conference call from here?
So now I'm gonna check out their room service.
I just asked for some food.
I said surprise me, bring me whatever you guys have.
Oh my god.
And it says my name on it, thank you so much.
Smells fresh.
This food is way more fun than like a dish.
I don't want steak, 'cause you know
what you can't do with steak?
You can't take it like this, and you can't be like
mm.
(crunching)
I'm not even joking, this doesn't taste bad.
(slurping)
Okay, I think I've explored the room.
I'm gonna check out what else this hotel has to offer,
but so far (kissing).
Did she lock me in?
Can you open the door?
(laughing)
Adey?
(laughing)
Adey open the door.
Adey?
All right, I need to get my energy out,
been in this room for way too long.
We got some treadmills right here,
I'm gonna explore all the funky stuff this hotel has,
so let's see.
Oh.
I don't think the treadmills are working.
I don't need a treadmill.
Here's what I'm gonna do.
All right, so now I'm gonna check out the lounge area
where all the dogs hang out.
I'm gonna go meet some dogs.
It's right in there, huge, they got little dogs right here.
(laughing)
And then they got some big dogs in the back.
I'm a big dog I think.
We'll see where they place me, but let's go check it out.
(barking)
So many dogs.
Oh my god, look at this husky.
Hi!
(laughing)
Hi.
(instrumental music)
Oh my god, the way this dog jumps.
Oh my god.
(instrumental music)
Ah, full day of activities, I'm exhausted, I'm sweaty,
I'm stinky, I'm covered in hair.
What does every hotel need?
A good shower, so I'm gonna go wash up,
go to bed nice and clean.
I'm just getting a shower.
I just need to take a shower.
I get it, I'm sexy, I get it.
You've never seen a naked man before.
Okay, so this is the dog grooming section.
They cut the dog's hair right here.
Pink blow dryer, you can get your nails done.
I think you can dye your hair too if you want here.
They can like give you different hair dyes.
They got all these soaps.
(upbeat music)
All right, this was a successful shower.
I wasn't even expecting them to have a shower here so
let's go get changed and go to bed.
Okay, that was a lot of adventure.
I'm exhausted, back in the room, closing the door,
and I think I'm just gonna try and go to bed now.
Oh shit.
Okay, it's kinda quiet, none of the dogs are
barking or anything.
There's one dog just kinda moaning a little bit.
I don't know if it's like having fun
with a little teddy bear somewhere or something,
but I'm just gonna try and go to sleep now.
I have to go to the bathroom real bad.
I don't know where.
They told me just to go on the floor
or get a pee-pee pad, but I didn't get a pee-pee pad.
I can't just do it on the floor.
Oh but I have to go poopy so bad.
I can't poop on the floor and then have them
clean it up tomorrow and look me in the eyes
as I check out, I can't do that.
So that's the only minus about staying here,
because pooping in a bathroom is way more comfortable
than pooping on a floor and knowing
that they're gonna have to clean it up.
I'm just gonna have to hold it in,
and this dog has not stopped moaning.
I don't know what it's doing.
It's everyone, all the dogs are quiet.
(moaning)
Maybe if I moan back at it, it'll stop.
I think it stopped.
It's 3:10 AM.
I'm thirsty.
I gotta go to my doggy bowl.
Oh gosh.
Guys,
what am I doing with my life?
(slurping)
Didn't know you could drink it like that.
(barking) Oh no.
(beeping) I woke someone up.
No.
Shh.
(barking)
What if I wake all them up right now?
I'm going back to bed.
Going back to bed.
I'm sorry, I'm going to bed.
All right, so it is now
eight AM, and
I did it.
And honestly, I only woke up a few times.
My neck doesn't hurt, my body doesn't hurt.
I think I've gotten used to the smell.
Best hotel experience I ever had, right?
Like because fancy, you know what fancy is.
Crappy, you know what crappy is.
Dog hotel, you don't know what that is,
all you know is that movie
that whatever it was on Disney Channel,
that's all you know about dog hotels,
and now I got to live that Disney dream of mine.
I gotta go poop again, so yeah I definitely have to get up.
I think this dog food's acting a little funky on my stomach.
All right, all right.
Thanks for watching, bye.
(soft music)