you know so you're dating or you're in a relationship with somebody with borderline
personality and maybe of course you didn't know that in the beginning but you're coming
to realize that now or you've known that for some time well a question they get a lot about that
is simply involves you know does that mean that the person with bpd will always ghost you
or in the common pardons today discard you
no so you know if you have an untreated partner or ex with bpd or family member
any relationship type personal bpn treated is it inevitable that they will um that this
ghosting discard will happen well no i mean it's it's more common than ever before now
especially the last 10 to 12 years i think two reasons for that are psychiatric meds and
um you know how they complicate the reality of what people vp are going through and the other
thing is i think social media and there might be other things but those are two major things
so it's not true that every person with bpd um i'm just looking back at what was the question
we'll discard you or we'll ghost you because there are many with bpd who don't do that
just as there are many people bp after relationship breakups that don't hoover
they're not all the same and they're not all women and they don't all do the exact same things
they don't manifest the patterns of what bpd is which is again comes from and based
on adverse childhood experience so uh it's not inevitable that if you're with somebody with bpd
they will they will split to devalue you that you know and many times and and and micro splits but
and not re idealize that's very much common in one way or another sooner or later with every
untreated person with bpd but it's not true that every person with bpd that you're dating
or in a relationship with that it's inevitable that they will ghost you or discard you
and why do i know that well because i've been working with clients for 31 years now i'm here
to help you if you resonate with me and many many of those clients and still today you know
maybe more are getting ghosted and discarded now than ever before especially in younger age groups
and you know all ages but that's that wasn't always the case and it isn't always the case so
a lot of what informs me about what i share here to try to help you out
keeping it real to help you heal or help you get further along or maybe just have something
you know connect with you that you think about something a little bit differently however i
just hope the videos are helpful however they're helpful for people it's really important to know
that just because there's so much information out there saying well if you're with a person with bpd
then you know like they're going to discard you it's just if so packed them not no because
they're not all the same and we hear a lot about and on my channel too hear a lot about
you know um men seeking answers to what's gone on and understanding about the borderline woman
but the borderline woman isn't unique the borderline woman isn't different from the
borderline man i mean in some ways obviously right but and the manifestation of bpd can be
somewhat different between men with bpd and women with bpd but we don't hear enough about men with
bpd because they're sort of like invisible and yet more of them than women with bp are in prisons now
so you know not all men with bpd but so the whole point here is not every person with bpd is going
to ghost or discard and even for the ones that do then there's a certain percentage of them
they don't understand what they're doing consciously you know they really don't
but there's a percentage of them that are always going to keep coming back they keep coming back
they keep coming if you don't go no contact they'll keep coming back and they'll keep
coming back and you keep being reengaged if you don't take care of yourself and or you know a
lot of people sit there and wait you know because maybe the person would bp entry it monkey branch
maybe they cheated on you and then when they're done with that next person you want to take them
back wow you know that that's no judgment but that's where you got to really think about what
what are you doing and how that is also a pursuit for those wonderful feelings in
the beginning and the honeymoon phase which by the way i'm having more and more clients
in recent years who tell me like there was no honeymoon phase you know it seems like that
has sort of been really shortened or gets skipped over by a lot of people with bpd today so there's
a lot changing in the presentation uh especially younger people with bpd younger meaning maybe like
under 40 and and of course then again you go down to people in their 20s or late teens it's like
it's just the way that they are treating people abusing people um
in their unconscious like lack of conscious awareness the way that they are manifesting the
patterns of bpd today and the more complexity to those patterns there is more complexity to
those patterns today than ever before so with all that in mind you know um it is really
important to know that a discard or ghosting isn't inevitable and then um many people are ghosted
and it's not actually a discard because it's like no i still bore and i will say i still love you
i still want to be with you i just needed a break so there's all these this and i would refer you to
my you know the borderline just taking a break but they're gone uh ghosting you know kind of video i
can't remember the title but the bottom line is it's not inevitable with every relationship with
every person with untreated bpd that they're going to go goes to or discard you and many people still
have to there are maybe more people on one side of the scale now where they're getting ghosted
and discarded but there are still a lot of people a lot of clients i work with but they're going
through the agonizing uh you know difficulty of trying to decide and knowing they need to break up
with somebody with bpd but how to do that there was a question on the channel recently i did a
video about um just that you know somebody wanted to break up with somebody with bpd but avoid all
of the horrible treatment that they were getting from this person and so that that's another
complicated reality but so anyway just wanted to say here and don't want to make it any longer
that it's not inevitable that for everybody who's in a relationship or you're dating somebody with
bpd and you find that out they're not all going to be the ghosting discarding uh manifestation of
you know the adverse childhood unresolved unhealed aspects of
what they've been through that keep replaying themselves out in relationships and adulthood
some of them are too clingy and too needy and will not beep you and then it gets really
hard for people to break up with those type of people with like that type of pattern that gets
manifested in untreated bpd as well so it's simply not true to say at all or accurate that being with
a person with bpd means obvious unavoidable they're always gonna ghost or discard you