(cheerful music)
- [Narrator] The ADHD-er lies on the couch,
but he has a list of chores he must accomplish
for himself and his family.
He must leave the comfort of his home
and journey into the wild.
(dramatic music)
This particular species of ADHD-er needs coffee,
his phone, keys and wallet.
He finds his keys under the couch.
He locates his phone in the pantry by the crisps,
then spends 20 minutes looking for his wallet
in every pair of pants he's worn in the last week.
He finds it in the washer, soaking wet.
Ready to check off the list,
he realizes he needs the list.
He leaves his coffee on top of his car,
then goes back in the house, retrieves the list,
then drives off with the coffee mug still on top of the car,
shattering it on the driveway.
Now in the wild, he must forage for his family.
Eggs, dry cleaning, a socket wrench.
The dry cleaning store is just ahead,
but so is one of his greatest fears.
A red light.
He mustn't sit still for two whole minutes.
Boredom is the ADHD-er's apex predator.
Rather than waiting patiently the ADHD-er turns right,
certain to find a shortcut that will get him
to his destination.
Instead, he reaches a cul-de-sac.
Well, it'll take an extra 10 minutes,
but at least he wasn't bored.
Back on track, it's time to take
his clothes into the cleaners.
The trunk of this ADHD-er's car
is a wonderland of discovery.
This pair of pants has been in his car for three months.
He thought they were gone forever.
This single left shoe has been separated from its partner.
Ah, what a grand reunion they shall have.
This plate was from a lunch he ate a week ago,
then put in the backseat,
then moved into the very back when guests were in his car
and he wanted to seem fancy and neat.
What's this? It's the socket wrench.
He's found it. There's no need to buy a new one.
Hazar! He drives away triumphantly,
forgetting to drop off the dry cleaning.
It's time to find some eggs.
But to find them the ADHD-er must pass through
the most perilous passage known to man,
the electronic section at Costco.
He must keep his eyes straight ahead
because any one of these wonders will cause complete amnesia
as to why he's here.
He must look away from the 77 inch 4K TV
playing a snowboarding video.
He must look away from the giant Bluetooth speaker
with fancy neon lights and he absolutely must look away
from the gigantic cocoon shaped full body massager.
He's made it through to the sock department, that was close.
He finds the massive container of eggs,
but then receives a textual message from his mate.
She also needs pasta, canned albacore tuna,
a giant pancake mix, a tub of pasta sauce,
and a year's supply of paper towels.
His arms are now quite full,
but this ADHD-er is equipped with a blind sense confidence
that he can carry anything,
and shopping carts are for losers.
He's also developed a slow sideways waddle,
which allows him to get down the aisle into the parking lot
and safely into his vehicle.
Victory is his!
Back in the comfort of his lair,
poised for a triumphant return to his mate
He realized he didn't drop off her dry cleaning. Oh no.
The reunion must wait and he must go
once again into the wild.
- And what just happened? (door closes)
- I lost the list, which is the prop
that we're supposed to use for the video,
so we're gonna write it something.
- He lost the list. - Very young brand. It's okay.
He's got a great memory for this reason right, Babe?
- Not really for lists.
That's why I make the lists.
And I like, I need the little dopamine hit
of checking off the list. - I know...
(footsteps falling)
(door opens)
(package spills) - Oh, god!
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(cheerful music ends)