Question time.
This is where senators say the same thing
they've been saying for weeks,
but this time, in the form of a question.
For this entire impeachment trial,
senators have been in a listen-only mode.
Well, today, they will get to weigh in
through written questions.
Senators have to write their questions down on these cards.
Take a look at this. Six lines each.
Ultimately, these cards get submitted
to Chief Justice John Roberts,
who will read them out loud to the House managers,
and also to the president's defense team.
This is a process that will last 16 hours over two days.
Damn. 16 hours of questions.
That sounds like every road trip I take with my little nephew.
He's like, "But why are there colors?"
"I don't know. 'Cause someone invented them."
"Who invented them?"
"I did, okay? I invented the colors.
And I'll take them away if you don't shut up."
That's right. I'm a horrible babysitter. That's right.
For this stage of the impeachment trial,
senators get to ask questions to the lawyers.
But because senators are not allowed to speak,
they have to write their questions down on a card.
And then, there are no limitations
on what these questions can be.
It can be anything they want as long as they write it down.
For instance, Senator Capito asked,
"When did Ukraine learn that the aid was frozen?"
Uh, Senator Peters asked,
"Does impeachment require a criminal violation?"
And Ted Cruz asked, "Does this look infected to you?"
(laughter)
Oh, and... and writing the questions down
on a special card isn't even close
to being the most elaborate part of this process,
because after the card is filled out,
they have to pass it forward to the parliamentarian,
who then has to pass it to Chief Justice Roberts,
who then has to read it out.
And if you think that process sounds slow,
that's because it is.
The senator from New Hampshire.
Mr. Chief Justice, I send a question to the desk.
Thank you.
(throat clearing)
(laughter)
Senator Shaheen asks the House managers.
Aah!
(laughter)
No wonder this thing takes 16 hours.
The senators communicating through note-passing
like they're back in middle school.
That's what that was.
"Senator McConnell has a question for Adam Schiff.
"Will you go to the dance with Sheila?
Yes, no, maybe."
(laughter)
The whole process makes no sense.
If the senators have a question,
why not just let them ask the question?
Or if Chief Justice is gonna have to read it out,
I mean, then he should at least have to do an impression
of the senator who asked the question.
Then it makes it fun.
Yeah, then it would be more interesting. He was like,
"This next question is from Senator Sanders from Vermont."
(imitating Sanders): "Why don't all shoes close with Velcro?
It's faster!"
"All right, next question."
That would be interesting.
(laughter)
Now, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
For most of the day, senators just asked questions
to their own side that gave them another chance
to repeat their talking points.
Democrats asked, "Donald Trump is guilty, isn't he?"
And Republicans asked, "What is it
that makes Donald Trump so innocent and handsome?"
But there was one moment, there was one moment
from the trial that caught everyone's attention,
and it came from Trump's attorney Alan Dershowitz.
MAN: This afternoon, in a stunning argument,
one of President Trump's top lawyers claimed
any president has almost unlimited power,
that his election is in the public interest,
and so, he said, Trump cannot be impeached.
Every public official that I know believes
that his election is in the public interest.
And if a president does something
which he believes will help him get elected
in the public interest,
that cannot be
the kind of quid pro quo
that results in impeachment.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived.
First, it was, "There was no quid pro quo."
Then it was, "Maybe there was a quid pro quo,
but it was to help the country, not Donald Trump."
And now it's like, "Hey, man,
"the Donald gonna do what the Donald gonna do.
You little bitch asses need to shut the hell up."
(laughter)
So just to be clear,
the Trump team's argument is now
that anything Trump does to get himself reelected is fine
because his reelection, in his mind, is good for the country,
and then it's not impeachable. Anything.
Yeah. So trump can collude,
Trump can obstruct, and it's all good.
Hell, he can even lock all the Democratic candidates
in a room with Eric. Yeah.
Just be like, (as Trump): "At some point,
one of you will eat the other, and either way, I win."
(laughter)
This-this whole idea-- it just seems like more
of like a... like a monarchy or something.
It seems... Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on.
I'm getting a note.
Oh, it's a question.
For Alan Dershowitz.
It says, um, "Get the (bleep) out of here!"