being in a toxic work environment can destroy your confidence a toxic boss or a toxic team
can make you question your capabilities make you feel incompetent and worst of all make you
lose sight of exactly how awesome you are this hurts you in your next career move and might
even keep you stuck in a toxic job how can you rebuild your confidence after you leave a toxic
work environment that's exactly what we're talking about today hello my career besties and if you're
new here welcome to my channel for videos about toxic workplace survival recovery and success
after leaving a toxic job tap the subscription button and the notification bell i release at
least one new video each week there are five steps that you need to take in order to rebuild
your confidence at work okay one bonus one if you stay all the way to the end these are the exact
steps that i followed to rebuild my confidence when i left my toxic job and how my clients have
refound their confidence after leaving a toxic work environment and don't worry if you are still
in a toxic job you can start doing this work in order to rebuild your confidence
right now that all sounds good to you tap the like button and let's just jump straight into
it first of all you need to know how confidence is actually created there are two different ways
that we create confidence we can create confidence externally and we can create confidence internally
in my experience most people build their confidence through external means this is why
likes and comments in social media make us feel so good and in my opinion this is a byproduct of how
most of us are raised most of us go to school we try to earn good grades that validates that we're
smart that we're awesome if we're good enough we're getting awards which is giving us more
external validation to our awesomeness and then getting praise from our family from our friends
and from our peers these external validating events like your grades the praise the awards
all deliver tiny dopamine hits that make us feel good and specifically good about ourselves
however this is where things get really finicky especially if you have been or are in a toxic
work environment because in a toxic workplace you are not getting any external validation
or very limited amounts your toxic boss is not dishing out the compliments and they're probably
pretty stringy on handing out awards unless it makes them look good so if you were someone who
really builds confidence through the inputs that you're getting from other people your confidence
starts to decrease it really starts to suffer and especially if we inverse that external input
and let's say that you have an overly critical boss you have co-workers that are undermining
you or questioning the work that you do these are all things that don't just take away how we get
confidence they're also directly decreasing the confidence that we do have luckily this isn't the
only way to become confident af confidence can also be an inside job the advantage of internal
confidence is it does tend to be much steadier than external confidence which is going to be
situational and dependent on the people around you and this is one of the reasons why you guys hear
me talk about uaq your unique awesomeness quotient so much because awareness of why you are great is
going to help you intellectually understand why you're awesome which is going to help you build
that inner belief in your own awesomeness and your potential at work as well and this isn't all just
about how we're raised or how we decide to show up there is a natural inclination to build your
confidence externally or build your confidence internally i'm one of the lucky ones that just
naturally tends to build confidence within me there's no right way there's no wrong way
and both are very important because it's not either or it really is both especially when it
comes to rebuilding your confidence after a toxic work environment that said what i
encourage you to do is to start building your own self-awareness focusing on developing your uaq
and your self-acceptance this is going to help you elevate your inner confidence so it's nice
when it's validated by the external world but it's still there and can help you weather the storm
when you're facing adversity at work the next step to rebuild confidence at work after a toxic job or
toxic work environment is to curate the f's that you give you need to invest those apps wisely for
example does your toxic boss's opinion really matter okay i know that they can do things like
potentially reprimand you deny you promotions or pay increases and maybe even fire you
but once you've escaped the criticisms that they had and the opinions that they had
you have to ask yourself does it actually matter were they really valid because if
that toxic boss was just an overly critical and unfair human being you shouldn't be investing
any f's there another thing that can really help you invest your f's strategically at work
is figuring out how to take things less personally i recently did a whole video so i won't
go on and on about it but i will link that in the description down below in case you want to check
it out after this one and i want to be clear i'm not saying that you shouldn't care at all and that
you should disregard everyone's opinion no we want to be critical thinkers but if you are in a toxic
work environment or you recently left a toxic environment you might need to care a little bit
less for your own well-being and i also again returning back to that considering the source
if that source person whether it was a toxic boss or a toxic co-worker doesn't really care about
you how much should you really care about their opinion especially if you've left and it no longer
impacts your job i would like you to commit to considering the source and really evaluating the
feedback you can do that by typing i'll consider the source and the comments down below at this
point i really want to turn inward because again i think that if we raise our internal confidence
base line up it's going to help us a lot in recovering and rebuilding our confidence at
work so the next step to rebuild confidence is to create your inventory of awesomeness and actually
this can be internal and external if you want to start externally with how people perceive you
you absolutely can compile compliments that you've gotten from customers and co-workers
survey people that you work with that you have positive relationships with you can look back to
compliments that you've gotten awards that you've been given and any time that you were acknowledged
or if you have co-workers or friends that you have positive and productive working relationships with
you can even ask them for some input and some for some positive feedback that's going to make
you feel good sometimes what you really need is a little bit of a hype squad situation going on
when you turn it internally one great way to start is just start writing down all of the great things
that you have done and all of the fantastic things that you have accomplished at work and really this
is something that you should maintain and do on a weekly basis and i would actually encourage
you to keep your inventory of awesomeness updated at least once a week write down one win that you
had at work so you don't just do it one time to build confidence you do it continually to
cultivate confidence and side note this inventory of awesomeness can come in very handy when you're
doing things like writing a resume updating your linkedin profile or preparing for an interview
sometimes you've done so much good stuff that you kind of forget about it or it feels kind of normal
so this inventory of awesomeness can be very very helpful now when i said to sit down and
write all the great things that you did or maybe when you sit down to do it your head might be like
there's not really much there i can tell you that's a lie and that brings us into our next
step to build confidence at work after a toxic workplace and that is to check our self-talk
let's just face it your toxic boss or your toxic co-workers might have gotten into your head just
a little bit they sewed the seeds of self-doubt and honestly for most of us it's much easier to
be critical of ourselves than it is to embrace our own awesomeness and that's why i want you to set a
new rule for yourself right now you are no longer allowed to talk more [ __ ] about yourself than
anyone else does toxic boss or toxic co-workers included does this mean that you're never going
to have a negative thought about yourself again or that you can't have negative thoughts about
yourself absolutely not first of all we need to acknowledge and just accept our limitations
which i've talked about in videos before but when you're really getting down on yourself and you're
speaking to yourself in a way that you would never even dream about speaking to your best friend like
it's time for you to check yourself spot when those thoughts are actually happening acknowledge
what it is i'm feeling like a big dummy heading into this meeting then get curious about it why
am i feeling this way what is behind it do i have evidence that i'm a dummy or do i have evidence
that i'm actually pretty awesome chances are it's going to be the latter when you consider the cases
what you're probably going to find is that the more logical conclusion is that you're pretty cool
you're not a dummy and you can accept that that thought that fear that anxiety rose
but then you can also revise the story around it and there's something that i think really
helps you not only spot the self-talk and accept any limitations that you do have that have been
not so kindly pointed out in a toxic work environment and that actually leads us into
our next step to build confidence at work after a toxic job and that was to know your uaq your
unique awesomeness quotient i know you're like jennifer i'm so sick of hearing about this but
seriously this is life and career changing getting really clear on what you're good at even if it's
just from an intellectual i acknowledge this information perspective it's going to start to
build confidence and the more you're aware of your highest potential areas and your biggest strengths
and the value that you bring to an organization the more that you'll focus there and the more you
focus there and the more that you excel in those areas of your uaq the more evidence and the more
feedback that you have internally about how great you are so really your uaq becomes this awesome
confidence-building cycle that you can repeat again and again and again also revisiting your uaq
frequently can help to reinforce it if you don't already know your uaq i want you to go into the
description bar there is a link to download your free uaq starter kit get started it seriously is
a game changer and actually i have a bonus step for you drawing from that one and that is to get
a career bestie or to work with your career bestie that's me rebuilding your confidence is hard and
i can tell you behind the scenes for the areas in which my confidence was deemed after leaving
my toxic workplace it took me a hypnotherapist multiple coaches and an awesome success squad
to not just help me rebuild it but to even grow it more to get to the point where i'm at today
absolutely zero of that work was an accident and it did not happen from me leaning back
and wallowing in my misery and it would have been easy honestly it would have been so easy
to do that and walk through life feeling like that but i didn't want that for me and i absolutely do
not want that for you and that's exactly why i designed my new toxic job detox program which is
launching soon it's not good enough for you to survive after a toxic workplace it's not okay for
you to just kind of get back to an okay baseline you deserve to thrive in your career if you want
to check it out go to toxicjobdetox.com all the information is there however not everyone is ready
for recovery i honestly do believe that sometimes we need to live in wallowing a bit but i want you
to start to prepare to make that toxic workplace recovery go and check out this video right now
where i actually break down the full steps of toxic workplace recovery including building your
confidence so that you can learn more and plan to thrive but before you go if this video helped you
prepare to build your confidence at work give it a thumbs up it really helps my channel it makes you
my favorite careerbestie as always my friend thank you so much for watching this video oh
consider subscribing if you haven't and i will see you in the next video bye for now