IOWA CAUCUSES ARE A MERE TWO WEEKS AWAY.
AND THERE WAS A HUGE DEVELOPMENT YESTERDAY.
BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP RECEIVED A CRITICAL ENDORSEMENT FROM FORMER
GOVERNOR OF ALASKA SARAH PALIN.
>> SO GREAT TO BE IN IOWA, WE'RE HERE JUST THA-WING OUT.
ARE YOU READY TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?
YOU READY FOR A COMMANDER IN CHIEF WHO WILL LET OUR WARRIORS
DO THEIR JOB AND GO KICK ISIS ASS!
>> James: I MEAN YOU JUST KNOW THAT JOHN MCCAIN IS ON HIS COUCH
AT HOME WATCHING THE TV LIKE DONALD, DUDE, THIS IS A BAD
IDEA.
(LAUGHTER) TRUST ME.
BUT I MEAN THIS WHOLE SPEECH WAS PARTICULARLY CONFUSING.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> LOOKING AROUND AT ALL OF YOU, YOU HARD WORKIN, IOWA FAMILIES,
YOU TEACHERS AND TEAMSTERS AND COOKS, YOU ROCKIN' ROLLERS, HOLY
ROLLERS!
>> James: SHE SOUNDS LIKE A DR. SEUSS BOOK.
(LAUGHTER) IF DR. SEUSS WANTED TO DEPORT
ALL OF THE SNEETCHES AND WOOZLES.
AT ONE POINT PALTIN TELLS THE AUDIENCE THAT SHE KNOWS THEY'RE
PUTTING THEIR REPUTATIONS AT RISK BY SUPPORTING DONALD TRUMP.
SO WHAT KIND OF REPUTATIONS DO THEY HAVE?
I'M PRETTY SURE MOST OF THEM ARE LIKE, I JUST CAME OUT TO SEE
PEOPLE FROM THE TV.
YOU KNOW YOU JUST KNOW THAT THERE WAS ONE GUY THERE WHO WAS
LIKE WOW, THE GUY FROM "THE APPRENTICE" AND TINA FEY.
(APPLAUSE) BUT YOU WANT TO WATCH HOW SARAH
PALIN ENDED HER SPEECH.
>> NO MORE PUSSYFOOTIN AROUND.
>> James: NO MORE PUSSYFOOTIN AROUND, I HAVE TO SAY, I WAS SO
RELIEVED TO HEAR HER ADD THE WORDS FOOTIN AROUND.
I WAS VERY WORRIED FOR A SECRETARY ABOUT HER NEW POLICY
PROPOSAL AM BUT ONE PERSON WHO IS NOT GETTING SUCH A RINGING
ENDORSEMENT IS TED CRUZ WHOSE OLD COLLEGE ROOMMATE CRAIG MAZIN
HAS TAKEN TO TWITTER TO INFORM THE WORLD THAT TED CRUZ IS THE
WORST.
NOW CRAIG MAZIN WROTE THE MOVIES THE HANGOVER 2-AND-3 AND IF
THERE IS ANYONE ON EARTH WHO CAN IDENTIFY SOMETHING AS THE WORST
IT IS THE GUY WHO WROTE THE HANGOVER 3.
(LAUGHTER) WE CAN ALL AGREE ON THAT.
BUT HIS TWEETS ARE PRETTY ENLIGHTENING WHEN IT COMES TO
TED CRUZ.
THIS IS ONE OF HIS TWEETS.
HE PUT AS A FRESHMAN I WOULD GET INTO SENIOR PARTIES BECAUSE I
WAS TED'S ROOMMATE, OUT OF PITY.
HE WAS THAT WIDELY LOATHED.
IT'S HIS SUPERPOWER.
NOW LOOK, EVERYBODY HAS A ROOMMATE THAT THEY HATED.
BUT NOW IMAGINE IF ONE DAY YOU WOKE UP AND THAT ROOMMATE WAS
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
IT WOULD BE HORRIFYING.
SO YOU JUST WANT TO TURN UP TO EVERY PRESS CONFERENCE AND STAND
AT THE BACK AND GO WHY DONE YOU TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID TO MY
PRETZEL'S TED.
YEAH, YOU REMEMBER?
YEAH, YEAH,NO, I'M NOT GOING SHUT UP.
YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THE PRETZEL'S TED.
NO ONE EATS PRETZELS LIKE THAT, TED.
(LAUGHTER) JUST SAYING HE HAD SEX WITH
PRETZELS.
IT'S A JOKE, NOT TRUE, HE DIDN'T REALLY.
BUT THE TWEETING HAS DONE WONDERS FOR CRAIG MAZIN WHO
APPARENTLY GAINED QUITE A FOLLOWING.
HE SAID HE PUT I HAVE 30,000 FOLLOWERS NOW.
AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS BE STUCK IN A ROOM WITH TED CRUZ FOR A
YEAR.
I'M SURE YOU ARE ALL NICE, BUT SO NOT WORTH IT.
(LAUGHTER) THIS GUY DID NOT LIKE TED CRUZ.
BUT TED HAS HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
HE DIDN'T GET HIS OLD FRIEND SARAH PALIN'S ENDORSEMENT.
HE'S GETTING ROASTED ON TWITTER.
COULD YOU ALMOST FEEL BAD FOR THE GUY.
AND THEN YOU WATCH THIS AND YOU GET OVER IT PRETTY QUICK.
>> MACHINE GUN BACON.
(LAUGHTER).