are you dealing with a child who lies to you and others in this short video I'm going to quickly
explain five things you can do to help your child have a deep sense of longing for their
own personal integrity that will motivate them to tell the truth then I'll share a few quick
tips to help you keep them on the right track hi I'm Holly is lean the mommy answer lady and I'm
all about helping parents stop struggling with children's bad behavior and showing them how to
grow their relationship at the same time if that interests you please subscribe to this channel so
why do children lie really it's the same reason adults lie most of it is fears they have a fear
of punishment rejection consequences for their own bad behavior disappointing others and in a
child's case that would be disappointing parents and they may also feel trapped because of those
fears trapped in the reality of their own misdeeds or circumstances that have come from them then
there's another reason that would be they think it would be easier to lie by telling the truth they
may know that they won't get what they want so lying will give them some sort of immediate reward
there is no way to completely guarantee that your child will never lie again just like there's no
guarantee anyone will never lie but as a parent you can instill a sense of longing for personal
integrity in your child that will motivate them to want to be truthful here's how to do that number
one teach maturity to your child batur 'ti is understanding how your present words and actions
will affect your distant future and acting on that knowledge in a responsible way so what
you can teach your child is that what they do now affects their distant future this is an important
concept for your child to know this can be taught effectively from a very early age I'm talking
preschool age is when this teaching can begin once a child understands the phrase when you grow up
such as when you ask what do you want to be when you grow up now that doesn't mean they need to be
able to give a reasonable or even realist answer to that question they don't they may still be in
a phase of I want to be a superhero or a fairy princess and that's okay the point is when they
understand that when they grow up things will be different and they will have another position in
life the beginnings of teaching maturity can begin at that point to teach them to have a true sense
of their own character when all is well and you are not in a conflict with your child take them
to a mirror and have them look at themselves in it tell them to look into their own eyes ask them
how they feel about that explain that how they feel about that is what will tell if they have
chosen to have good character or bad character which do they choose thinking about their future
what kind of person do they want to be looking at in the mirror each day tell them they have a
very unique opportunity right now in their life they will choose what kind of person they will
look at in that mirror they will also choose what others will see when they look at that same face
by the reputation and character they display to others explain that they have a choice to be an
honest or a dishonest person when they look in the mirror they will know if they have been an
honest or a dishonest person tell them they want to always feel good about looking in the mirror
if they don't feel good about that because they have been dishonest they need to go and remedy
that situation by confessing and owning up to whatever they have said or done that is dishonest
number three tell them honesty is established at the moment when a lie would be easier explain that
telling the truth when they know there will be no consequence doesn't prove honesty it is only
at that moment when a lie would be easier that honesty and integrity are proven they must prove
to themselves that they will choose to be an honest person by going through a time when they
want to lie but choose instead to tell the truth number four help celebrate their honesty tell them
the next time they are tempted to lie to let you know they are tempted and overcome it by taking
the consequences let them know that they will feel so much better about themselves and will have
accomplished something they will have overcome temptation tell them to let you know when they've
done it so you can celebrate it with them then you can both go to the mirror together and they can
look at themselves in the eye and feel good about their accomplishment number 5 remind them there
are advantages to having an honest relationship with you make sure they understand that the more
they are honest at times when it is difficult the more trust you will have in them the more trust
you have the more freedom they will have in the future for instance if they want to go out with
friends you will need to have a deep sense of trust in them so that you can allow it and know
that they are going where they tell you they're going and with the friends they tell you they're
going to be with it is to their advantage to build up a relationship of trust with their parent
here's some quick tips to help you keep them on the right track first don't set up temptations for
them to lie by asking questions when you already know the answer if you know they hit their sister
or broke a toy don't ask if they did it talk to them as if you already know and guide them toward
discussing it honestly the first automatic natural tendency is to deny something if an undesired
outcome will happen if the truth is revealed so don't ask about the truth if you already know what
it is second give them time to think about their answer before they give it when you do have to ask
them something that you know they may not want to own up to because you really don't know the truth
tell them you're going to ask a question and you don't want them to answer right away that you want
them to go into another room and think about their answer first to remember what you've talked about
regarding their honesty and looking in the mirror then ask the quest and give them time to think it
over before coming back to you with her answer usually if they have a few minutes to think they
will want to do the right thing rather than giving a dishonest answer as a knee-jerk reaction to fear
third make sure they know the three things every child should know to eliminate the idea that your
child will feel rejection if they tell the truth about a mistake they have made be sure they know
the three things every child should know number one on that list is that they are loved you can
find a video that explains the three things every child should know on this channel I'll put a link
at the top of the page on this screen this alone will eliminate some of the tendency they have
to lie fourth don't ever insist they are lying unless you have proof sometimes you may suspect
that a child is lying but you really don't know in that circumstance you can let them know you
have a sense that they are not being honest tell them that they are not in trouble but because you
have this sense you are concerned that you and they are not building that honest relationship
you really want to have with them and tell them that you know they want that relationship with
you too so ask them to go away for a few minutes and think about what you they have told you that
you would appreciate it if they would come back and talk to you again and let you know if they
have anything more to say then give them a chance to reconcile their dishonesty if they have been
dishonest but you need to also consider that you may be mistaken if you believe this video has
been of help to you as a parent please subscribe to this channel and hit the notification bell so
you'll know when more parenting content posts here also please check out the other videos
on this channel and share them with those you believe my benefit thanks for watching