[The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals beings]
♪♪♪
♪There is a house in New Orleans♪
♪♪♪
♪They call the Rising Sun♪
♪♪♪
♪And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy♪
♪♪♪
♪And God I know I'm one♪
♪♪♪
♪Well, there is a house in New Orleans♪
♪♪♪
♪They call the Rising Sun♪
♪♪♪
[song gets quieter]
♪And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy♪
♪♪♪
♪And God I know I'm one♪
♪♪♪
[Music Out]
[Narration: Steven] The answer... is yes!
We were posted up at the "Roller Rink," practicing for the biggest competition of our lives....
[Got It by Boys Noize and featuring Gizzle & Snoop Dogg begins]
♪The Don is here♪
♪The Dogg is here♪
♪The Kush is blowing♪
♪The fog in here♪
♪Ready ta, make her jump like a frog in here♪
♪A little bitch can get slammed like a pog in here♪
♪Oh Ray♪
♪Don't make a nigga jog in here♪
♪Came to fuck these pussies, I'm too raw in here♪
♪Say somethin'♪
[Music Out]
[Steven] The truth is I was part of a skate-core in middle school...
I was the black sheep of the group!
Couldn't skate! My body wouldn't allow it!
Sure, *I* could try to lie to my team about my prowess!
But my hips couldn't....
[Steven] Sure! I was worried about letting Cib and James in on how poorly I skated.
But what happened next reminded me of why I call these guys my best friends...
[Steven] The shock had settled in already.
If we couldn't get James out there to sake we'd be one man down!
Thankfully, Cib found Pringles on the floor...
[A Real Hero by College & Electric Youth begins in the background]
[Steven] It wasn't easy getting back on the wagon after all these years!
Flashbacks of my old team haunted my memory.
Our team captain, Utherin, berating me for not following through on my pirouette [he pronounced it pier-o-way... that's wrong]
♪♪♪
He said: "Steve, you'll never be a real roller skater as long as you live."
And maybe, he was right! Maybe I wouldn't be!
But at least, my mom wasn't dead!
And I was glad his was...
♪♪♪
♪Real Human Being♪
[Steven] I could rest easy knowing that all the skating skills in the entire world couldn't bring his mom back!
♪And a real hero♪
♪Hero (x5)♪
♪Real human being♪
[Steven] Turns out, skating doesn't actually get you anywhere.
And I made friends with Utherin in college!
He invited me into his home for dinner and I stared deep into his fathers broken soul!
It almost made me wish I hadn't defecated in his mothers urn.
...Almost...
♪♪♪
[Music out]
[Outro] OH NO DUDE!