So I think we've all been told at some point or other that when you want a little inspiration
to read biographies. So I wanted some inspiration so I started reading a biography of a monk
who lived to be 120 years old and he was a monastic for 101 years. And when I first started
reading the biography, I can't remember how this came about, but anyway, I guess maybe
the person who wrote it was saying he's kind of like the Chinese version of Milarepa, or
something. I don't know. I don't know much about him. But I did read a couple of poems
by him. So I haven't gotten too far in the biography, but I was really just so surprised
by these poems. Mostly one part. I didn't realize they were two poems. This is actually two poems.
So, just a little background. This master, Venerable Hsu Yun. He was born in 1840 and
died in 1959. Just amazing to think about. So he lived to be 120. And it turns out at
that time period in China there was a lot of degeneration of the Dharma. Of course that's
a long time period. But one thing he did in his life was he resurrected a number of very
famous temples. But even yet, if you know history, you know the cultural revolution
was just really taking off around the time he died, and even before that a lot of things
were happening, and so there was a lot of persecution, actually, of him and other monastics,
I don't know the history so well. But I know from just reading this biography, the little
bit I have, that he got severely beaten to the point of they thought they'd left him
for dead. You know, bleeding and broken ribs and all kinds of things. And at the point
he was something like 111 years old, or something. He was really old. He was well over 100. And
one of his main students had been executed. So this gives you some flavor of the times.
So that these poems were written near the end of his life, when he was much persecuted,
is how it says here. So that's just the background. So he says:
<<An evil wind blows me to Wu Chang, my presence here has caused disaster.
For three months, at Sung Fat Monastery, this sick and ageing body has attracted trouble,
shame and fear for everyone. Once there was a decapitated general
calling aloud for his head; "How many heads have you cut off?"
they asked him, at once he was enlightened. Today, I too lament,
defeated, tortured, I recall unnumbered heads in other lifetimes I cut off.
Vast is time and I am reconciled. No more desire for eminence,
simply the wish to find the Buddha, along with other people.>>
And then a second poem is:
<<Why should this crazy guy seek to make a name in Buddhism
when the whole show's on the wane- indeed at crisis point?
I try to climb the highest peak, I plumb the depths to catch the fish,
talk a lot-find no listeners. Sorry for myself I waste my time.
Unconcerned by dire predicaments concern for others should be my task.
Moaning without pause; whatever for - this grumbling?
Why not let everything go- Life's suffering never ends.
Suddenly, remembering Emptiness, this mind has cleared.
What a laugh it is!>>
So I was just, I don't know, kind of dumbstruck when I first read this. My first thought was
like wow, you've been a monk for a hundred years, aren't we supposed to be happy by then,
or something? I just go back to my, it really made me think again how like when I first
moved here I was here for two weeks and I was just so joyful. And then after about two
weeks all of my preconceptions and expectations about things started to kick in. But you know,
I don't realize those until they aren't met. So I'm just like, that's what was like this.
A hundred years, wouldn't you be happy? You know, I'm here two weeks, shouldn't I be happy?
And them I'm like, this scenery is so nice here, how could I be unhappy? And then when
I read this poem I'm just like, wow, all the same things that we struggle with he's able
to put so well in this poem, you know, our concern for our reputation, our grumbling
mind, our bodies, the state of affairs of the world. His were not so great, obviously.
I mean they were quite drastic, actually. But even yet what made me think about it is
how, you know when he says "unconcerned by dire predicaments," I find that in myself,
too, like in the sense of how the self-centered thought just is kind of appaling sometimes.
It really is what makes you want to change. I remember one time someone in my family,
I think it was my mother, was going through something health-wise that was, you know,
really not so good, and in that day I found myself just really upset by some trivial thing
that I can't even remember what it was now. So upset, you know, about nothing, about something
really petty, right? And then I thought, I can't believe I do this. Here I am concerned
about nothing and my mother is like suffering. It's the same thing.
And so here it is, someone who's practiced the Dharma who can watch his mind and express
this very eloquently. But, big difference, Boom! Suddenly he clears the whole thing out
and he sees this is just not the way to be thinking. And then, you know, whatever it
is in his practice that gets him to that point, his mind is cleared. "What a laugh it is."
So he's able to put it in perspective.
And so I think for me what this poem really represents is a level of reality check. Like
having a reality check about expectations or our Dharma practice and of ourselves, and
to really begin as time's a long time. 101 years is like nothing. And so, I'm not saying
anything about his level of realization, but I'm just saying that, you know, our need to
just keep practicing and not get weight down or let our minds go south when things don't
go as fast as we want. Because, you know, we make our changes, they happen slowly, and
we just keep going. And this is what we need to just keep doing all the way to full awakening.
So may we continue.