Whether you’re trying to be a legendary hero, a top-notch thief, or a powerful criminal,
you’re going to need some extra brain power if you want to make it far. In Dreamworks’ latest film,
“Puss in Boots - The Last Wish”, we see several characters make some pretty clever moves,
allowing them to briefly gain the upper hand. However, we also see more than a
few characters make some pretty dumb mistakes. But out of all of them,
who’s borderline brainless and who is just on the edge of genius?
I’m Brad with WickedBinge,
and this is Puss in Boots - The Last Wish characters: Dumb to Brilliant.
As you guys probably already know, MAJOR spoilers ahead for the entirety of Puss in Boots 2.
First off, we have the characters who are… Not The Brightest. The ones that
are shown more often than not being clueless, as well as the ones who
don’t typically make smart decisions - which fit our first characters to a tee.
The Gold Medal of Dumbness is going to the Serpent Sisters. These two are the Bounty
hunters who Jack hires to steal the map to the Wishing Star. You would think that them having
a career as impressive and successful as theirs would mean that they were pretty smart. But,
while they may be skilled at murdering, according to them, these two don't really come off as the
sharpest tools in the shed. You've got one sister who all but insults Jack,
asking him to do what he's famous for according to his nursery rhyme as she laughs at him. The
other sister, after seeing how angry Jack is getting, tries to save herself by poorly
trying to throw her sister under the bus. The highlight of their dumbness, however,
is just the fact that they actually believed Jack when he told them that they'd earn their
weight in gold, and then didn't hesitate at all when he offered them the hand of
Midas. Really, the only smart thing these two did on-screen is get out while they could.
Next up, we’re going to give the Silver Medal of Dumbness to Baby Bear. While the Bear family
in general isn't all too bright, Baby definitely stands out as the dumbest due to his age and his
brash personality. When the family fails to track down Puss in Boots, Baby takes it upon himself to
come up with their heist plan - which doesn't go well in the slightest. Baby is also fairly
careless in several moments throughout the film, such as when he gorges himself on honey and falls
asleep, making it easy for Puss to steal it away again, or when his acting-without-thinking leads
him to springing his own trap on himself and his family. It's really no wonder
that he tends to refer to Goldi, being - as she says - the smash to her grab.
Following him, our Bronze Medal of Dumbness is going to crazy cat-lady, Mama Luna. For what
it's worth, Mama Luna does have a good heart, being incredibly protective of her cats as well
as any strays that stop by her home. But whether it's her age or a natural sense of obliviousness,
Mama Luna isn't the most observant. She fails to notice that Perrito is actually a dog that's
disguised as a cat, and while she DOES notice Puss doing things like cooking on the stove or using
the toilet, she fails to realize that he's not an ordinary cat or even wonder why Puss is doing
these things. We also see in the interrogation scene with the Bears that she's a pretty terrible
liar. But for what's worth, we can commend her bravery, even if her actions aren't too effective.
Managing to be the smartest of the so-called ‘dumb’ characters, we’re ranking Perrito.
Being just a puppy, it could be argued that Perrito comes off more as naive than
outright dumb. This is especially the case whenever he says a bleeped out swear word,
not fully realizing what he's saying, as well as when he failed to recognize the simple fact that
his previous family had been trying to get rid of him. Perrito is also extremely easy
to trick and manipulate, not always being the most observant when it comes to himself - though again,
this may also just be due to his naivete and his willingness to believe in the good of others. But,
what puts him right on the edge of this tier is Perrito's high level of emotional intelligence,
being the one to help Puss through his panic attack as well as giving both him and Goldi well
thought out advice. You could also say that his successful disguise and his status as bilingual
also point to some hidden intelligence. These small moments do go a long way,
even if Perrito still manages to land towards the bottom half of our list.
Our next section on this list is what we like to call Average Folks,
the characters who land somewhere in between Dumb and Brilliant.
Starting off this tier are the parents of the Bear Crime Family, Mama and Papa Bear.
Much like their son, Mama and Papa more often than not seem to take things at face value,
not being as clever as their daughter and often needing her to lead them.
Mama is even briefly tricked by Perrito's disguise, needing Goldi to point out that
he's actually a dog. Both are also very easily distracted, as seen when the map conjures up
an illusion of their cabin. Overall though, they never come off as TOO dumb. After all,
Papa is shown to be a pretty skilled piano player while Mama is, at the very least,
emotionally intelligent enough to know when something is weighing on her daughter's mind.
For all these reasons, we felt like right on the edge of Average was the perfect spot for them.
Next up, we have the Village Doctor. Being a doctor or veterinarian of
any kind would already point to someone having a decent amount of intelligence,
but it should also be noted that this guy also serves in several other positions,
such as being his village's barber. However, skills don't always transfer to a person's
common sense or sense of judgment. Like many other medieval doctors, the Village Doctor prescribes to
the so-called 'miracle cure' known as leeches, even using one on himself after Puss refuses,
despite still being on the clock. At the same time, his recommendation that Puss retires is
a pretty sound one. Since he's only in one scene and there is so much we can go off of,
we felt that this Doctor manages to land right in the middle of the intelligence
chart, being far from both the smartest and the dumbest animated doctors we've ever seen.
Following him, we’re ranking Jack Horner’s private army - AKA the Baker’s Dozen. True to their name,
these guys prove to be very talented pie bakers in addition to being fairly competent fighters.
Obviously there's a reason why Jack bothered to even use them as a defense force in the first
place, even though they tend to stand up better against mortal and non-magical threats than they
do against a magic forest. What brings this group down by a couple points though is their failure to
even try to run away once they realize how deadly this mission is and how little their boss cares
about them. We don't know whether or not this was a forced choice or one driven by loyalty,
you would still think there'd be some hesitation when it came to running headfirst into man-eating
plants or using themselves as a bridge for the sake of their boss' carriage.
Just barely missing out on our highest ranked tier, we have the Cricket. The
Cricket serves - or at least TRIES to serve - as Jack Horner's conscience. With this,
it can be inferred that in addition to having a strong moral compass, the Cricket also has
a decent amount of emotional intelligence, allowing him to more easily understand the
people that he's trying to help. We will say, however, that the Cricket at the very least knows
when to call it quits, not being dumb enough to believe in someone who makes it very clear that
they won't and don't want to change. That's more than we can say for the Baker's Dozen,
and this plus his ability to survive and save himself after Jack tosses him aside as well
as a lack of dumb moments overall earns the Cricket a spot in the upper half of our list.
Since we don’t consider any of the characters in this film to be super
geniuses, our final section will focus on the characters who are College Bound - the
ones who easily shine when it comes to their intelligence in certain fields.
Entering our Top 5, we’re ranking Goldilocks next. In case we haven't made it clear already, Goldi is
the smartest in her family when it comes to crime. She's their leader and is often the one coming up
with heist plans. She also has the strongest level of focus in her family, resulting in her being
the one who helps the three bears get back on task regarding their mission. We should also note that,
for most of the film, Goldi is able to hide her true reasons for seeking out the Wishing Star,
showing that she can be sneaky and even a bit manipulative too,
even if she doesn't necessarily want to hurt her family. Really, what puts
her at only 5th place is simply the fact that, in comparison to our other top tier characters,
she never manages to do anything that's extraordinarily impressive. But still,
credit where it's due, she's definitely the brains of the Three Bears Crime Family.
Next up, we have “Big” Jack Horner. Being the film's Big Bad, it's only natural for him to be
one of the film's smarter characters, making him all the more dangerous. Starting off, we
learn early on that he's a very successful businessman, which then allows him to use his
pie-making profits to pursue all the magical items that he wishes to collect. Speaking of which, Jack
also proves to be very proficient in effectively wielding each of these weapons and is fairly good
at thinking on his feet as well as thinking ahead - as we see when he packs both the
mystic orb and the Alice in Wonderland cookie - keeping him as a worthy threat even after
he loses all his men. Though, speaking of which, that's actually the main reason why
we couldn't put him in our Top 3. Though his actions lie more in his self-centeredness and
selfishness more than anything else, you would still think that Jack would be strong enough
to not just waste his entire army, if only so he'd continue having a bigger advantage.
For our Bronze Medal of Braininess, we’re giving it to Death. With a being as psychological as
Death, it makes total sense that he would be able to read people as well as he does in the
film. After all, he's probably dealt with plenty of people similar to Puss, making him all the more
wise and experienced. Death is also shown to be extremely skilled when it comes to combat,
making each of his wins feel all the more earned. Like with the Cricket, Death doesn't have
any outright dumb moments, so while he doesn't get as many on-screen moments for his intelligence to
shine like our following two characters do, we feel like 3rd place is warranted for him.
Moving onto our Silver Medal of Braininess, it’s going to the one-and-only Puss in Boots. Let's
get the elephant in the room out of the way: when it came to some of his previous lives,
he died in some pretty dumb ways. However, there's a fine line between having a ton of arrogance and
having a lack of intelligence, and we feel that Puss leans more on the former than the latter.
What supports this theory is the fact that, outside of his most arrogant and careless moments,
Puss can be a very clever cat. Really, no scene proves this better than the film's
opening where we see him outwit both the governor's personal guards and the giant,
who he's able to successfully knock out thanks to a combination of strategy and acrobatics.
Although we still had to dock a couple of points from him for some of his more foolish moments,
it's hard to deny just how crafty this kitty can be when he puts his mind to it.
Finally, our Gold Medal of Braininess is going to Kitty Softpaws. Although Puss may have her
beat as a hero, it can't be denied that Kitty is the far-better thief - and not just because
of her soft and claw-less paws. When we're first re-introduced to her, Kitty is shown
to be incredibly stealthy, hiding in the map's chest until the moment is right and she makes
her mistake. But even after Puss blows her cover, Kitty is still able to successfully evade capture
and continues showing both her sneaking and her strategic skills as the film goes on. Much
like Perrito, Kitty is also very emotionally intelligent when it comes to her furry ex,
with it almost coming off as her knowing Puss better than he knows himself. For all these
reasons, we're naming Kitty as the Smartest Character in Puss in Boots 2.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking, and tell us what we should
cover next! Remember to hit that notification bell and binge our Dumb to Brilliant playlist,
where we figure out which characters have the most wits. But most importantly, stay wicked!