( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) REGGIE IS WITH HIS MOM IN
MONTANA.
SHE'S GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY.
HE SENT ME A PHOTO.
TWO THUMBS UP, SEND OUT WISHES.
THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
WHEN REGGIE IS AWAY, WE'VE GOT TO GET A SPICE GIRL TO EVEN IT
OUT.
WHICH SPICE GIRL DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH.
>> DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOVIE SPICE WORLD?
>> James: VERY WELL.
YOU KNOW THE TOUR BUS DRIVER WAS MEATLOAF?
>> James: YES.
MEATLOAF.
>> James: THAT'S WHO YOU IDENTIFY WITH?
THAT'S YOUR ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS WHICH SPICE GIRL DO
YOU IDENTIFY WITH AND YOUR ANSWER IS MEATLOAF?
>> MEATLOAF.
>> James: WOW.
BETTER WITH SPICES.
>> James: FOR SURE.
FOR SURE.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, NATE?
WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU, DO YOU THINK?
>> I WANT TO SAY GINGER, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, IT'S BABY.
>> James: IT IS.
( LAUGHTER ) I SEE NO SHAME IN THAT.
I THINK YOU ARE.
I THINK THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
YOU'RE PURE BABY SPICE.
>> I AM, I AM.
>> James: YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT TODAY, NATE.
THIS WHOLE LOOK, I LOVE IT.
>> I HAVE BEEN DAB LING IT.
I FELT LIKE THIS PLACE HASN'T QUITE BEEN HORNY ENOUGH LATELY,
SO -- >> James: ARE YOU STILL DOING
HORNY TEASE.com.
>> .BUSINESS.
>> James: WHAT'S IT CALLED.
HORNY T-SHIRT.BUSINESS, HORNIEST T-SHIRTS ON THE NET.
>> James: IT'S STILL UP.
OF COURSE.
>> James: I FEEL LIKE WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN ABOUT THIS IN A
COUPLE OF YEARS.
>> IT'S POPPING UP.
I'M SELLING TWO, THREE T-SHIRTS A YEAR.
SO -- >> James: DON'T SHAKE YOUR
HEAD, NICK.
TONIGHT MAKE THIS SOME KIND OF BRANDING ISSUE.
THE GUY'S GOT A BUSINESS.
IT'S HORNY TEES.BUSINESS.
I THINK IT'S OKAY TO TALK ABOUT A BUSINESS THAT'S SOLD SIX
T-SHIRTS IN THE LAST FOUR AND A HALF YEARS.
BUT DESCRIBE TO US WHAT IT IS, NATE.
>> OKAY, IT TAKES POPULAR SLOGANS AND PUTS THEM ON
T-SHIRTS BUT IT ARBITRARILY REPLACES A WORD WITH THE WORD
"HORNY."
SO, LIKE, THERE'S I SEE DEAD PEOPLE FROM THE CLASSIC MOVIE
THE SIXTH SENSE, BUT IT SAYSERS, I SEE HORNY PEOPLE.
( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S A COFFEE MUG, YOU KNOW,
DON'T TALK TO ME TILL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE, BUT THIS SAYS DON'T
TALK TO ME TILL I'M HORNY.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, AND DOZENS, DOZENS
MORE OPTIONS.
>> James: YEAH.
WELL, THAT'S QUITE THE TURN FROM BABY SPICE.
HORNY SPICE.
( LAUGHTER ) ALL RIGHT, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO
BE INFORMED -- YEAH?
TIME TO SPICE UP YOUR LIFE.
BECAUSE TWO ARE ABOUT TO BECOME ONE --
( LAUGHTER ) I WENT TOO FAR.
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE INFORMED AND -- SPICE UP YOUR LIFE --
( LAUGHTER ) -- IT'S TIME TO ZIG A ZIG THE
NEWS.
OKAY.
♪♪ ♪♪
NO!
>> OH, YOU SAID NEWS, SO PAVLOV'S DOG FOR ME.
SORRY.
>> James: HOW MANY TIMES?
IT'S CLEARLY YOUR LEAD-IN IS GOING TO BE IT'S TIME FOR ZIG
AZIG THE NEWS.
AND I WANT IT TO HAVE A SPICE GIRLS THEME.
>> FOR FREAKIN' SAKE.
>> James: IS YOUR MOM WATCHING?
IS THAT WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
>> YES, SHE IS WATCHING.
>> James: OH, DARN TOOTIN'!
( LAUGHTER ) I TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO BE
AND TIME TO SPICE UP YOUR LIFE AND SAY YOU WILL BE THERE
BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR, ZIG A ZIG, THE NEWS.
( NEWS INTRO MUSIC ) >> James: DO YOU REMEMBER THE
VACCINE MANDATE FOR EMPLOYERS PRESIDENT BIDEN ANNOUNCED LAST
MONTH?
WELL, BUSINESS GROUPS ARE NOW LOBBYING THE WHITE HOUSE TO
DELAY THE MANDATE UNTIL AFTER THE HOLIDAYS, SAYING THE MANDATE
COULD MAKE LABOR SHORTAGES EVEN WORSE HEADING INTO THE HOLIDAY
SHOPPING SEASON.
SURE, THE HOLIDAYS THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE CROWD INTO
SMALL ROOMS WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS.
NO NEED FOR A VACCINE MANDATE UNTIL AFTER THAT, AND WHILE
WE'RE AT IT, LET'S NOT REQUIRE SEAT BELTS IN RACE CARS UNTIL
AFTER THE DAYTONA 500.
( LAUGHTER ) THE BUSINESS GROUPS SAY THE
MANDATE COULD MAKE THINGS MORE DIFFICULT HEADING INTO THE
CRUCIAL HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON.
SO, INSTEAD OF EMPHASIZING THE IMPORTANCE OF PUBLIC HEALTH,
WE'RE GOING WITH, PELOTONS.
( LAUGHTER ) AND DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS?
EXPERTS ARE SAYING THIS YEAR'S THANKSGIVING MEAL WILL BE THE
MOST EXPENSIVE MEAL IN THE HISTORY OF THE HOLIDAY.
EVERY INGREDIENT, FROM THE TURKEY TO THE AFTER-DINNER
COFFEE, IS EXPECTED TO COST MORE THAN EVER.
THIS IS PERFECT, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE MORE THAN DRY
TURKEY?
EXPENSIVE DRY TURKEY.
( LAUGHTER ) THE MOST EXPENSIVE THANKSGIVING
MEAL EVER.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AT LEAST YOU'LL FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO
MAKE SMALL TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FAMILY.
SO, THE PRICE OF YAMS, PRETTY CRAZY, HUH?
EXPERTS SAY THE PRICE INCREASE IS DUE TO A COMBINATION OF
REASONS, SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES, LABOR SHORTAGES, AND OF COURSE,
YOUR NIECE DEMANDING THE TURKEY BE FREE-RANGE, ORGANIC, AND
COLLEGE-EDUCATED.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: I STILL DON'T THINK
I FULLY UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE THANKSGIVING THE DINNER, I
UNDERSTAND THE SORT OF ROAST DINNER ELEMENT, BUT THERE ARE
ALL MANNER OF SIDE DISHES, WHICH TO ME JUST BLOW MY MIND, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND IT.
CAN YOU TALK ME THROUGH IT?
WHEN DID MARSHMALLOWS MAKE THEIR WAY INTO A ROAST DINNER?
THAT'S WHAT I CANNOT EVER GET MY HEAD AROUND EVER EVER EVER EVER.
>> WE WERE COMING OUT OF THE DEPRESSION AND THINGS WERE CRA
IZZY IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> James: I GET IT.
BUT THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.
>> James: BUT TO STICK WITH IT.
IF WE WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND WE JUST ORDERED -- ORDERED A STEAK
AND FRIES AND PASSED IT AROUND AND IT'S, JUST POP IF CANDY AND
GET THAT ON THE TOP OF THERE.
CHUCK A COUPLE OF GUMMY BEARS IN HERE, YOU WOULD BE, LIKE, YOU
WOULD LOOK AT ME AND RIGHTLY SO THINK I'M INSANE.
>> IF YOU PUT CANDY ON FOOD IN FRONT OF ME AND I HAVE TO THE
TWO OF US -- >> James: I PICKED THE WRONG
PERSON.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I THOUGHT IT AS I SAID IT, I WENT TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'LL NEVER GET IT.
I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT.
>> THE MARSHMALLOW THING IS WEIRD, BUT LUCKILY NOBODY IN THE
U.K. DOES ANYTHING WEIRD WITH THEIR FOOD, SO YOU'RE GOOD.
>> James: LIKE WHAT?
WHAT DO WE DO THAT'S WEIRD?
WHAT TO WE DO THAT'S WEIRD?
>> A LOT OF THESE PUDDINGS THAT ARE JUST MADE OUT OF BLOOD, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OR IT'S, LIKE, HERE'S A WEIRD REASON TO EAT BLOOD, LIKE, IT'S
A PIE BUT IT'S GOT FISH IN IT.
>> IT'S FRENCH.
>> James: IT'S FRENCH.
BUDAN.
STAR GAZY PIE.
YOU'RE MENTIONING MEDIEVAL DISHES.
>> YEAH.
>> James: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M WITH YOU.
I'M, LIKE, YEAH, THAT'S WEIRD.
BUT YOU, THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH AMERICA, YOU CAN'T ADMIT IT WHEN
YOU'RE WRONG.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
>> I HAPPEN TO BE OF THE OPINION WE SHOULD SCRAP THE MEAL AND
IF WE'RE GOING TO START FROM SCRATCH, START FROM SCRATCH.
>> James: YOU WOULD GO LASAGNA.
>> A NICE FAMILY STYLE ITALIAN DINNER.
>> James: BUT WHY NOT BANG A FEW MARSHMALLOWS ON THE TOP OF
THAT AND YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
( LAUGHTER ) MOVING ON EARLIER TODAY,
EXECUTIVES FROM TIKTOK AND SNAPCHAT MADE APPEARANCES FOR
THE FIRST TIME EVER ON CAPITOL HILL.
TEY TESTIFIED IN FRONT OF A SENATE PANEL ABOUT THE EFFECTS
OF THEIR PRODUCTS ON YOUNG USERS.
IT WAS A LITTLE TRICKY.
THE SNAPCHAT EXECUTIVES ONLY MADE AN APPEARANCE FOR TEN
SECONDS AT A TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) GOT TO BE A RELIEF FOR SNAPCHAT
ALL OF THIS.
NAPCHAT MUST BE LIKE, YES, WE STILL GETTING IN TROUBLE WITH
CONGRESS, WE AIN'T DEAD YET, BABY!
( LAUGHTER ) A HIKER IN COLORADO, WHO WAS
LOST ON A MOUNTAIN FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, REPEATEDLY
IGNORED CALLS FROM RESCUERS, BECAUSE THE CALLS WERE COMING
FROM AN UNKNOWN NUMBER.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE FINE NOW.
I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THIS PERSON DID - EXCEPT FOR THE
INITIAL DESIRE TO GO HIKING.
( LAUGHTER ) I DO GET IT, THOUGH.
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER ENDURE?
BEING LOST, COLD, AND HUNGRY IN THE WILDERNESS, OR HAVING A
ROBOT TRY TO SELL YOU ON A REVERSE MORTGAGE.
( LAUGHTER ) IS ANYONE ELSE JUST GETTING MORE
AND MORE CALLS EVERY DAY FROM LIKE REDONDO BEACH?
( LAUGHTER ) IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING THIS
REDONDO -- AND YOU CAN'T BLOCK IT.
I BLOCKED THE THING AND THEY KEEP CALLING.
>> TO BE FAIR, YOUR CAR'S LIMITED WARRANTY MAY HAVE RUN
OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> James: THE RESCUERS CALLED THE
HIKER, BUT WERE LIKE, NAH, I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE A VOICEMAIL.
THAT'D JUST BE WEIRD.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DID YOU GET LOST FOR 24
HOURS WHEN YOU HAVE A WORKING PHONE?
( LAUGHTER ) AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.
THIS WEEK, HERSHEYS IS GIVING AWAY A GIANT KIT-KAT HALLOWEEN
COSTUME FOR FOUR PEOPLE -- THAT EVEN BREAKS APART JUST LIKE
THE CANDY BAR.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DOES IT GO AGAIN?
YEAH, HOW DOES THE SONG GO?
NO, I'M ASKING TIM.
♪ BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT KAT BAR ♪
>> James: OKAY.
♪ BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT SAD COSTUME ♪
( LAUGHTER ) THE COSTUME ISN'T FOR SALE, YOU
HAVE TO WIN IT BY ENTERING A CONTEST.
KIT-KAT IS GOING TO CHOOSE ONE LUCKY WINNER, AND SEVEN BILLION
EVEN LUCKIER PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THIS COSTUME.
( LAUGHTER ) IT BREAKS APART JUST LIKE THE
CANDY.
WHICH IS CONVENIENT, BECAUSE IF YOU MAKE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER
GET IN THIS COSTUME, YOU'RE DEFINITELY BREAKING UP.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS CAUGHT OUR EYE.
A $350 MILLION WELLNESS THEME PARK WILL SOON BE COMING TO
NEW YORK CITY.
HERE'S A MOCKUP OF WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE --
IT WILL INCLUDE FITNESS CENTERS, COMMUNAL BATHING, INDOOR
WATERSLIDES, AND EVEN A MASSIVE POOL WITH A SWIM-UP BAR.
YOU KNOW, WELLNESS.
( LAUGHTER ) A WELLNESS THEME PARK.
I THINK WE MAY HAVE ACTUALLY FINALLY FOUND A THEME PARK THAT
LAUREN WOULD HAPPILY ATTEND.
WOULD YOU GO TO THAT?
WOULD YOU GO TO A WELLNESS THEME PARK?
>> NO THANK YOU.
>> James: I DON'T KNOW WHAT WATER SLIDES HAVE TO DO WITH
WELLNESS.
WHOEVER HAS BEEN, OH, GOD, THIS IS SUCH A STRESSFUL WORK WEEK.
I'VE GOT TO GET ON A WATER SLIDE TONIGHT OR I'M GOING TO SNAP OR
SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER ) I'M DONE.
IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE ON THE LAZY RIVER!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND FINALLY, DID EVERYBODY HEAR ABOUT THIS?
JEFF BEZOS' ROCKET COMPANY BLUE ORIGIN HAS ANNOUNCED THAT IT IS
BUILDING A SPACE STATION.
IT'S TRUE.
THE SPACE STATION WILL BE PUT INTO LOW EARTH ORBIT, AND WILL
BE CALLED ORBITAL REEF.
SOUNDS LIKE A STRAIN OF WEED THAT WILL BLOW YOUR FRICKIN'
BRAINS OUT.
GO EASY, DUDE, THAT'S ORBITAL REEF.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS TRUE, THE STATION HOPES
TO OFFER LOGISTICAL SUPPORT, SPACE HABITATION, AND EQUIPMENT
ACCOMMODATION FOR BUSINESSES.
I ASSUME THESE ARE BUSINESSES THAT OFFER SPACE-RELATED
SERVICES, BUT IT WOULD BE COOL IF IT ALSO RANDOMLY HAD A
SUNGLASS HUT.
( LAUGHTER ) THE SUNGLASSES FLOATING AROUND,
YOU CAN -- YOU CAN SORT OF EASE YOUR HEAD INTO ONE AND LOOK INTO
THE MIRROR, SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
>> ASTRONAUTS FLOATING BY LIKE, HOW DOES THAT PLACE STAY OPEN?
NO ONE'S EVER IN THERE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: WE CAN SHOW JEFF
BEZOS' ACTUAL ROCKET SHIP.
THERE YOU GO.
LOOK AT THAT.
IF THAT'S THE BLUE ORIGIN ROCKET, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT
THE DOCKING STATION LOOKS LIKE (PHOTO)
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND IN A WAY, THAT'S THE NEWS.
BACK WITH MORE OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.