♪ ♪
Even before he became president,
Donald Trump was no stranger to scandal.
Sometimes, to kill tabloid stories,
he would call reporters,
pretending to be his own publicist.
Imagine trying to fool someone over the phone
if you're Donald Trump.
You think your voice sounds like Adele?
But while a celebrity businessman
might be able to get the media to go along with him,
it's a lot harder if you're president.
Over the last four years, the fake news media
has exposed hundreds of scandals
coming out of the Trump administration,
and none of it's made a bit of a damn difference.
But, hey, let's continue to count 'em down.
These are Donald Trump's 100 Most Tremendous Scandals.
♪ ♪
President Trump says he's trying
to find out more about the whistleblower.
NEWSMAN: He paid just $750 in federal income tax.
NEWSMAN 2: Firing Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman
and Gordon Sondland.
NEWSMAN 3: "Why don't they go back and help fix
"the totally broken and crime-infested places
from which they came?"
NEWSMAN 4: "Why are we having all these people
from shithole countries come here?"
Little Rocketman.
Tried to manipulate the count
by adding a citizenship question to the census form.
NEWSWOMAN: Indicted or convicted
six of the president's associates.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Advised staff members
at the Natural Resources Conservation Service
to avoid saying the term "climate change."
Syria also has a relationship with the Kurds,
who, by the way, are no angels, okay?
Get that son of a bitch off the field.
He's fired!
Person, woman,
man, camera,
TV.
NEWSWOMAN 3: Secret Chinese bank account.
Called American soldiers who died in war suckers and losers.
NEWSMAN 5: Executive time in the Oval Office every day.
Illegally mismanaging his charitable foundation.
Taking intelligence given to the U.S. by an ally,
sharing it with an adversary in the Oval Office.
NEWSMAN 6 (reading):
NEWSMAN 7: Questionable commutations and/or pardons.
NEWSWOMAN 4: Hush money payments made
to porn star Stormy Daniels
and Playboy model Karen McDougal.
Two Iraqis came here to this country, were radicalized,
and they were the master-masterminds
behind the Bowling Green massacre.
NEWSWOMAN 5: A full-throated Trump endorsement
of accused child molester Roy Moore.
NEWSMAN 8: Russia offered a bounty to Taliban fighters
to kill U.S. troops in Afghanistan.
"How did you get home?" "I don't remember."
"How'd you get there?" "I don't remember."
"Where is the place?" "I don't remember."
"How many years ago was it?" "I don't know.
-I don't know." -(cheering and applause)
Goddamn.
Just feel like I took a all-inclusive vacation
to Scandals Beach Resort.
"Scandals"?
And that brings us to our final scandal of the evening.
Coming in at number 26,
it involves tiki torches, the KKK,
and a golf cart you wouldn't want to be stuck behind
on the ninth hole.
-♪ ♪ -Donald Trump is famous for being quick with an insult.
He's going, like, "I don't remember!"
He's insulted reporters...
I'm the president, and you're fake news.
...senators...
This Elizabeth Warren-- I call her Goofy.
Crying Chuck Schumer. Crying Chuck.
Bunch of losers.
WOOD: ...and even voters to their face.
How stupid are the people of Iowa?
But there's one group he's been strangely reluctant to insult,
white supremacists.
NEWSMAN: The moment that's jolted the Republican Party,
Trump's response to receiving the support
of former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke.
I don't know any-- Honestly, I don't know David Duke.
I don't believe I've ever met him.
I'm pretty sure I didn't meet him.
And I just don't know anything about him.
WOOD: That's right. Donald Trump launched his 2016 campaign
by going full Mariah on David Duke.
I don't know her.
Oh, please.
David Duke is the Betty White of racism.
He's been in the game forever, and everyone knows who he is.
Saying you hate David Duke
is literally the easiest thing in the world.
Even his plastic surgeon hates him.
♪ ♪
Once Trump took office, racists everywhere rejoiced.
Hate crimes skyrocketed,
and white supremacists rallied around Trump as their new icon.
Hail Trump! Hail our people!
I mean, who wouldn't look at this guy and see "master race"?
Then, in August 2017...
...white supremacists threw themselves a terror parade
in Charlottesville, Virginia,
that ended in the murder of an antifascist counterprotester.
And Donald Trump once again found it hard
to condemn the bad guys.
I think there's blame on both sides.
But you also had people that were...
very fine people, on both sides.
WOOD: That's right. In a fight between racists
and anti-racists, Trump said
there were very fine people on both sides.
Amazing. It's like donating to Kanye's presidential campaign
and Taylor Swift's.
Sometimes, Trump doesn't even wait
to be asked about white supremacists--
he just finds 'em himself on Twitter,
retweeting accounts like @WhiteGenocideTM.
Good thing they trademarked that.
It could've been stolen by some men's hair dye.
This summer, Trump even retweeted a video
of his supporters yelling "white power."
-White power! White power! -(shouting)
It's the retweets that get you in trouble.
WOOD: You don't get a bigger honor
from the president than that.
It goes: retweet, pardon,
Medal of Freedom.
But no matter how much Trump makes it clear
that he's on the same page with white supremacists,
people keep giving him a chance, just one more time,
to finally denounce them once and for all.
But are you willing tonight to condemn white supremacists?
-Sure, I'm willing to do that. But I would say... -Do it.
I would say almost everything I see is from the left wing,
-not from the right wing. -So then do it, sir. -Say it.
-Do it. Say it. -You want to call them...
What do you want to call 'em? Give me a name. Give me a name.
-Go ahead. What-- Who would you like me to condemn? -Proud Boys.
Who-- Proud Boys, stand back and stand by.
WOOD: Okay, "stand back and stand by"?
That's the worst way to ever condemn something.
It's like breaking up with someone and then texting them,
"TTYL."
Seriously, Donald Trump struggles so hard
to do something so simple.
It's like he's trying to walk down a ramp
or walk down stairs
or hold his wife's hand.
Of all Donald Trump's scandals,
supporting white supremacists
should have been the easiest to avoid.
I mean, what could possibly explain
why he keeps stumbling into situations
where racists and Nazis think they have his support?
Hmm. I guess we'll never know.
Poor guy got tongue-tied trying to denounce racists.
It's really sad.
That's all the time we have for tonight.
But join us next time, as we explore the world of caravans,
kids in cages, and a very persistent cough,
as we continue to count down
Donald Trump's 100 Most Tremendous Scandals.