I have always felt that we have always been an advocate because
I have personally benefitted so much from therapy.
My parents are extremely liberal and evolved and you know they understood of course
therapy is fabulous but I need therapy, why? What did we do? You take it like personally
I didn’t speak, I was very socially award and it was just a process of having to learn under
pressure first. So, lot of the times people would think that I
am arrogant in my first few interviews and stuff
We are racist even within the country. You know to people from the North east, people in
Bombay sometimes say like Chennai means Idli, Dosa, Sambhar or ask me questions like,
how come you are on the fairer side when you are from Tamil Nadu?
Of course, these are all micro aggressions.
I don’t hide it. I am very blessed to have a realty wonderful personal life and I go through
everything everyone else goes through and you know we fight,
we make up, we talk, we are friends, just like everyone else.
Hello everyone. Today I am in conversation with literally my
favourite human in this whole wide world. Please welcome Shruti Hassan.
Thank you for such a lovely introduction. That’s so sweet.
Welcome home. I am so happy that you have come home and
not doing it some vanity van with like lights
So Shruti I want to begin with by asking you, you know times are changing again. Good
times are coming in. Dealing with a pandemic since last year and a half but now I think things
are getting back on track so I am going to start with this,
does this feel alien now? Now when you are meeting people
Yeah, I mean I am still paranoid and I think rightfully so because you see in other parts of the
world where everyone was like, Corona’s gone and then it just comes back in, you know
place like Singapore or America or like you know. Also, you have examples like Australia,
New Zealand where they have one case and they shut down and we are like are they crazy?
But it does, right? That’s the virus. So, I think for me its kind of the same. I know it’s there;
it’s going to be there for many years and it’s up to us to navigate it sensibly.
How do you think we should navigate this now? Since we
reached the place where we are opening up but what is the way forward now?
I would say that you know get vaccinated, please still keep your masks on because you know
there are still people who aren’t vaccinated and vaccination doesn’t mean that you can’t get
it. It just reduces your chances of death, like that’s literally what it is. So yeah, still to be
vigilant and responsible I think is the important thing.
Also, when you speaking about pandemic and also, we are
nearing something called as World Mental Health Day
Yes.
It’s a very important thing and thankfully we are speaking about it. October 10 and you have
been very vocal about it even in the past. But before I get more into that, I want to ask you,
do you think Covid times has also given a lot of exposure to mental health? Because people
maybe realise that you know it is a reality. It does because I felt at certain points that I need
to go and speak to a therapist because it was getting overwhelming for me in the house.
Do you think it did happen with a lot of people in the pandemic?
Yes, I think it was one of those times where it heightened the awareness. I think that’s the
one of the best things to come out of this situation if you have to look at this silver lining is
that people are now speaking about mental health and the conversation is open. People are
talking about getting the help they need and I have always said this if you have a fever or
migraine or a stomach ache, the first you will take an Aspirin or disprin or whatever and then
the second day you will be like no mum, I am not doing good and the third day you will go to
the doctor. So, it’s very odd to treat the brain any differently, the mind. It’s the way it
operates, chemicals, its so many things to do with the functioning of your body, actually.
And I have always felt that we have always been an advocate
because I have personally benefitted so much from therapy.
Talk therapy, specifically.
Some people if it’s more of a chemical imbalance then you need medication to you know it’s
like literally being a diabetes patient and needing to take insulin you know. If you told a
diabetes patient, I think it’s crazy that you take insulin, they will think you are crazy for
telling me what to do for me you know. So hopefully we get to the point, that place where
everyone can talk about it. I think the beautiful thing about India is we also feel like but if
you just want to talk like talk to me or your friend or your husband or I am your mum, I love
you. Which is beautiful, we need the family support system but they are not trained
professionals and where the family, the beautiful Indian family system comes into play is to
now be supportive of the person who wants help.
Actually, that’s my next question.
You know I have also realised that in a set up like India, mental health is still not taken
seriously. You know you go out and tell people about mental health, especially when you try
to talk to your parents as for what I have seen from my circle. That sometimes they say its
nothing like that. You know its just a phase. People just pass it
on by saying its just a phase. What would you like to tell those parents?
I think that you know I don’t say, how can they not understand? Maybe they can’t. My
approach to life is always try and see the other point of view. The enemy’s point of view or
the person who doesn’t understand. Or the one who is in opposition to your point of view.
Because only when you see that are you able to say, wait I get where you are coming from.
They maybe come from a generation or a cultural background where they haven’t had the
chance to address the things that have troubled them like anxiety or depression, they have just
got on with it. You just kind of kept on keeping on and that’s what the options that they had.
So, it’s about saying that I understand that you look at it that way but we have these options
today. Its scientifically discussed. In the society, this is a topic of discussion and why I need
it. They also didn’t have video games, didn’t have an iPhone either but they learnt to use that.
So, they need to learn to understand this point of view. It’s a learning both ways.
When you opened up to your parents about it, what was their reaction?
Did they understand that is what I really want to know?
Yeah, yeah but of course, all parents take it personally first. My parents are extremely liberal
and evolved and you know they understood of course therapy is fabulous but I need therapy,
why? What did we do? You take it like personally like if someone suggests in couples you
know I think we should go for couples therapy then the other
partner takes it really personally like, what did I mess up?
So yeah, I think that happens even with parents and it’s so much about saying, we all
contribute equally to messing up and fixing things and you know it’s about saying I need this,
you know. So even with my parents also I was like I need
this. It’s not about you. I am not asking you to go for therapy. I am going for therapy.
What did they say?
They were very supportive. Really yeah.
I have also realised whenever you talk about anxiety, mental health, depression one of the
main that come to our mind also in that point in time,
something that I call self-doubt is about your self-worth. How do you define self-worth?
It changes, doesn’t it?
Massively
Absolutely. it’s such a fluctuating thing. And you have to really be careful with that thin line
of self-worth and ego you know that’s where you really mess up. Because we have all these
affirmations for yourself and I don’t mean affirmation is the Instagram background post I
mean you know. You have affirmations for yourself because you know your story and you
know your life and that very quickly spiral into ego. So, self-worth and then on the other
hand, you also have how much validation we need and we don’t admit. So, our self-worth
then gets attached very, very intrinsically to our perception of self and other’s perception of
how good we are. And I think for me, I get stuck in that cycle sometimes, you know. And its
kind of like and I think especially as an artist, you learn a very valuable lesson. There are
many songs I have sung, many performances I have done where I think I have had the best
time and people are going to love this and they don’t. Maybe they do it later. And then you
realise it’s about perception and so did I enjoy doing this? Did I enjoy feeling this way? That’s
what matters. And its the same with this but it’s a tricky thing. I have suffered a lot with self-confidence.
Yeah, I was just going
A lot of people go, really?
I have, yeah. I was very under confident and I didn’t speak much which is funny because no
one can shut me up now. But I didn’t speak much, I was very socially award and it was just a
process of having to learn under pressure first. So, lot of the times people would think that I
am arrogant in my first few interviews and stuff because I was like just, I need to sound smart
and that was going on in my head. But it’s been a journey
and there are days I still feel very doubtful about things.
Even now?
Yeah, yeah. Especially as an artist. Yeah.
Do you remember the moment you were battling with self-worth? When you were not sure of yourself?
It doesn’t happen so dramatically now. You know like recently you know like someone can
say something which is linked to my art and I will be like prickly about it you know what I mean
But I think it happens very much when you are younger. It
happened very badly for me when I joined this business.
Because as a musician, you celebrate uniqueness, weirdness, craziness, quirks, exactly.
You are like this little you know palette of quirks. And when I joined this business, especially
when I joined, it wasn’t that at all. And I felt very out of the place and I felt very
misunderstood and I didn’t understand people. It was really challenging.
What did you do about it? When you realised that you are misunderstood
I succumbed under pressure for a lot of the time. To be honest in the way, I presented myself.
The way I dressed and then one day it just snapped and I was
like where is Shruti because this ain’t Shruti.
And that happened fortunately for me but I did change under pressure and I felt like a misfit
and usually when I felt like a misfit when I was younger, I was like yeah, I am a misfit, I am
rock and roll. But in this business and with my parent’s names and all of that, it felt, it was
heart breaking actually. There were days when I was just like. Please get me.
And then I was like and now I am like, you will get me.
Did that trigger the anxiety?
Yeah. I always had anxiety even as a kid. I had like debilitating OCD about stuff like
arranging my shampoo bottles in height order, those who have it will know it. But then it
became a whole new beast when I joined the business. And it’s not some sob story because
Oh, you had a hard time being famous
Because not that but yeah it was hard for me.
How is it now? This entire process of going through, can I call it healing? Is it the right word?
Growing.
Do you think is that, that stage of your life where you are more
confident? You feel you have surpassed that time
Yeah, I think I am more in awe of myself as opposed to putting it in somebody else hands of
who I am and what I mean. I am in awe with myself. I am critical of myself as much as I need
to be but I give myself the chance to be loved by myself. I don’t know if that makes sense.
And I do that every day and the days that I have doubts I walk and through the doubt I kind
of anticipate what I have to do. But I wouldn’t say that the growing is amazing there are still
ups and downs but for the most part, I would say I like myself and that’s what matters.
More power to you.
Music is a very important part of your personality and also evident in the last few years.
What’s happening on that front for you? I remember you like going to London a lot, make
music there. Are you planning to go there? What’s happening
with your music album? Too many questions together
No, no, I get it. It’s funny because when I first got to be known to people it was only through
music because I had done playback as a kid and I was this rock and roll who was in this
movie and it was all like and then it just kind of flitted away. So now music is you know that
again balancing the two is a trick. I have music coming out. I sing in English which is really
challenging for me here. Its also challenging for me outside of here. Yeah, it’s funny because
we grew up in this globalised society so I think sometimes, bless their hearts they don’t mean
to be racist but they go like, how do you speak English so well? Can you write your lyrics? I
mean like, can you write lyrics with the perception of a brown woman in her 30s? I don’t think so.
But that’s racist.
It is. I guess. Mildly but I think we are used to it, these micro aggressions. But then in India
its reversed saying, its English all the time, talk in Hindi. I can sing in Hindi but I can’t write,
my lyrics in Hindi and Tamil because I went to an English medium school and I grew up
wanting to marry Kurt Cobain so. I am also in between both so I have you know when we
speak to people in the music business, but why don’t you sing in Hindi or Tamil? I will. I
promise I will and I have but expressing myself in English by
default is been the way that I have been brought up and communicated.
You have grown up in a multi cultured environment and its
hard to still believe that you have also faced racism
Well, I think we all do, right? We are racist even within the country. You know to people
from the North east, people in Bombay sometimes say like Chennai means Idli, Dosa,
Sambhar or ask me questions like, how come you are on the fairer side when you are from Tamil Nadu?
Of course, these are all micro aggressions. Or I am sure people who visit Chennai you know
people from a Punjabi background or Marwadi background feel it as well and we don’t know
so I think sensitivity to understanding a different culture, colour, size, shape,
sexual orientation that what we should all be working towards. Understanding it.
Shruti, you have been very vocal about lot of things but in the recent times one thing that you
don’t speak about a lot is your love life. Is that a personal decision? Is that a conscious
decision that you have made? To stay away from it.
Clara, what is it?
My cat is going crazy, that’s just it. That’s my personal life.
I don’t hide things. I am not hiding anything.
But my life has been for the public really since I was born
you know even when my parents got together it was you know
So, I don’t hide it. I am very blessed to have a realty wonderful personal life and I go through
everything everyone else goes through and you know we fight, we make up, we talk, we are
friends, just like everyone else. I don’t hide it but I find that
when I speak about it, when’s the wedding?
I won’t ask.
When are you getting married? Question no. 2. Its you know, what does your dad think of?
What does this person like? And you are just like wow, this was fun till all of this came in.
That’s why I don’t talk about it.
But like you said even
Is it nice to be loved?
It’s always nice to be in love, isn’t it?
It’s always the best feeling.
I agree. It is the best feeling.
It is also wonderful to break up because I get so many songs out of it.
One last thing, on work front you are doing Salaar which is with Prabhas and I recently saw
he sent food for you’ll on the set, which is lovely. How is the
experience of working with him and tell me something about Salaar also?
Salaar, I am really, really glad to be a part of the project. Not only because its big, massive
and it’s going to dubbed I don’t know in how many languages we have lost track, I love that
element. We have reached a pposition in our business that we can just slice across the country
and everyone will get it. I really love the director. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with
him and getting to know him. He is so, so fantastic. Just a
man in charge of the ship, we are not going to hit the iceberg.
A good director is just so wonderful. Our DOP you know, Bhuvan sir like fantastic team just
so creative and then of course Prabhas in all of this who is so fantastic and it’s just been a
blessing to be a part of a set where they let me be me and a
better version of me and I am very thankful.
Lovely. Great but you thank you for this conversation Shruti, like always I wish everything
that’s happening in the future is the best for you.
Thank you, thank you so much.
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