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Hi, I'm Michele Gelfand,
I'm a professor of organizational
behavior at the Stanford Graduate
School of Business.
One of my favorite classes to teach
at the GSB is negotiation.
Even though negotiations
are pervasive, research shows that
we often leave value at the table.
I have five key takeaways from my
class on negotiation to
share with you today.
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Preparation is a vital part
of the negotiation process,
yet many people fail to properly
analyze their own and others'
perspectives prior to discussions.
I recommend that you create
an issue chart and spend time
thinking through your own interests
and goals, your priorities,
your alternatives, and
your strengths and your weaknesses.
And then do the same for
your partner.
The more complete the information
you have about yourself and
your partner, the more control
you'll have over your actions
reactions during the process, and
the better able you'll be to craft
great agreement.
If you don't prepare, you're
putting yourself at a disadvantage.
In life we
will leave value at the table.
As you negotiate, ask questions
to try to fill in gaps in
the information you have and
test the assumptions that you made.
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Metaphors are a basic mechanism
through which humans conceptualize
experience, including negotiations.
Metaphors are more than linguistic
devices, they can help or
hinder negotiations.
Yet we're often completely unaware
of the metaphors guiding us at
the negotiation table.
Is this an individual or
a team sport, a battle, a dance,
a date, a puzzle,
a visit to the dentist, or
a necessary evil?
Metaphors guide our goals or
behavioral scripts and
the criteria we use to evaluate
the success of the negotiation.
But a lot of time our metaphors are
not well-matched to the situation.
A relationship metaphor, for
example, is not well-matched to
a distributive single-issue task.
On the other hand, a game or
battle metaphor is not well-matched
to an integrative negotiation.
Think more clearly about your
metaphors and
you'll be a better negotiator.
The best negotiators also cultivate
a shared constructive metaphor
to guide the process.
A problem solving metaphor like
solving a puzzle or
playing on the same team.
In other words,
negotiate the negotiation.
Generate a shared metaphor to
guide the process, and
it will be more productive.
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Research has shown that negotiators
often assume that their interests
are diametrically opposed
to their counterparts.
Although some issues might be
win-lose, many of the negotiations
have an integrative structure
wherein there can be differences in
priorities individuals have on the
issues that could be traded off.
For example,
imagine that my husband and
I are trying to plan a vacation.
I want to go to the spa at
the beach, whereas he wants to go
to a cabin in the mountains.
At first glance,
it seems like we're going to go on
different vacations.
But through further discussion,
we discover that my priority is
the spa and the location is a lower
priority, whereas he prioritizes
the mountains and
the accommodations are a lower
priority.
By trading off on low priority
issues and
going to a spa in the mountains,
we each get our priorities.
When negotiating,
think outside the box.
The best
negotiators are very creative.
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Disputes or rejected claims
are inevitable, but there is
a way to manage them effectively.
Research finds that people tend to
reciprocate negative behaviors like
threats to a much greater extent
than positive strategies, causing
conflicts to escalate rapidly.
In an unproductive negotiation,
people use a lot of threats and
appeals to their rights and
don't focus as much on their
underlying interests.
In an effective system,
people focus a lot on interest and
use very few appeals to power and
rights.
Always aim at getting back to your
interests even in the face of
threats and
power strategies from others.
If others are using rights and
power strategies,
a mixed communication strategy that
combines a threat with
a cooperative communication and
appeal to interests will help you
better manage disputes.
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In today's global
interdependent world,
we are bound to be negotiating
across cultural boundaries.
But people often assume that
what works in their own culture
works everywhere.
They mistakenly think that it's
technical competence and general
intelligence that are needed to be
an effective negotiator.
But in a global negotiation,
it's cultural intelligence that's
key to mastering the deal.
Cultural differences,
if not properly managed, can derail
mergers and acquisitions,
expatriate assignments, and
damage our global capital.
High CQ is also critical for
managing global teams,
being an effective global leader,
and managing complex cross-cultural
networks.
Beyond IQ or even EQ,
research shows that if you
cultivate cultural intelligence,
the desire and
ability interact across cultures,
you'll be in a much better position
to develop high quality agreements
anywhere around the world, ciao.
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My kids think that it's fun to make
fun of me, that I like to create
win-win agreements all the time.
Really mom, do we have to always
create win-win agreements?
And can't we just split
the difference?
They have a point, sometimes
we don't have enough time or
things are not important to you.
You don't need to create
a win-win agreement,
you can just split the difference.
But they do make fun of me being
a little bit obsessed with
win-win agreements.
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