Alive and well, is brought to you by Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services.
This segment is sponsored by Pine Rest.
Parenting has a lot of rewards and sometimes a lot of challenges.
What work for one child often doesn't for another and
some Children have a seriously doubting our ability to parent.
Pine West's Alison Brauer is here today to talk about the nurtured heart approach
and how shifting our mindset and energy can
lead to positive change in our relationships.
It's good to have you here. Thanks for having me. Yeah, I am
glad to what are some typical,
acting out behaviors and symptoms of a situation that's concerning.
Yeah, I think as we go back into this routine of after the holidays,
I think that's something to keep in mind too, that some of these behaviors,
we just gotta get back into the schedule and the routine of things.
And I'd like to remind myself some of these behaviors of a kid pushing boundaries or
not wanting to follow the rules a little bit is normal.
But we also want to acknowledge that some of these families,
they've been trying really hard and they don't know what else to do.
So that's when kind of,
let's figure out a new approach and figure out how that can help.
Why is there a reason why for some Children just,
you know,
all the normal stuff that we think normal, what's normal? Right.
But like all of the things we think we know about being parents,
they just don't work with some kids.
Yes.
I think a lot of times even if we think back how we were
parented or what we were told in parenting books or anything like that,
the traditional or conventional ways of doing things
just really are not working for intense or more
difficult Children because just being told you should
do this is not good enough for them.
So they, they want more, we have to figure out new ways
to do that for them.
What can parents do differently? So I hear from a lot of parents,
you know, they're already thinking like I've done the praise thing.
I praise my child all the time.
I tell them all the good things about
them and they're still struggling or they're still.
So we have to find a new way
of getting around those defenses because especially difficult
or more intense kids have such guardedness and
they want to push away any positivity.
So we have to find new ways.
How can we show people
uh how to learn, respect and responsibility.
And one thing that I like to tell myself too is
what's gonna actually motivate a child to be successful is nagging,
is warning them that they're close to breaking a rule or correction or punishment.
Is that really gonna motivate them towards more success
or even as adults when we get told about the things we're doing well
and how to work towards that, the character qualities that people see in us.
That's what's really gonna motivate kids. So enter the nurtured heart approach.
NH A tell me a little bit about that.
Yeah.
So this is a set of strategies that
hopefully is even more than a parenting approach because
I think it, once you learn this approach, it transforms how you see people,
what you're looking at and what you're paying attention to and
focusing on is no longer giving your energy to negativity.
But we're focusing on the good things and the qualities that we see in other people.
Yeah. There's se several strategies to it. Right. Yes. Yep.
So we're refusing to energize negativity and that
we're giving all of our energy focusing on
the positive things that we're seeing in other people
and then making sure that we're really
clear about our expectations and consequences.
What kind of outcomes are you seeing from?
I'm so a lot of the research now is actually within
a DH D but in all other kids that we kind of
think are more intense or difficult,
really finding that it's helpful that they are more motivated to success
when we focus on the good things that we see in them
and, and this is for typical Children but also those with behavioral issues.
All Children. Yeah, we wanna use this
approach,
not unjust kids that are more challenging, but all Children.
And that's what I also think it's even all relationships in life too.
So you offer classes so that parents can learn these techniques.
Yes, upcoming this year we have some in person
and virtual options. So I'll be doing a virtual six week option.
But then we have some new uh one day events too where you kind of really
learn all the approach in one day.
Um And then you're supported by other families that are
learning this approach too and can hear their feedback.
All right.
Well,
I understand it's getting some really great results
and that is promising you can learn more
uh parenting tips and sign up for the
nurtured Heart approach classes at Pine rest.org/nh.
A. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you.