CHey there, this is clay with modernlove.life and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now this video is going to be a continuation on a series that we're going through on what
your ex is thinking and what is going on in their mind and in their heart, in the process
of you interacting with them and you communicating with them.
In this particular video, we're going to talk about what it means.
If you're ex says "maybe" in the future, you know, so maybe you're talking with your ex,
maybe you're interacting with them, maybe you're texting them or something and you float
out the idea of possibly getting back together or maybe your ex just comes out of the blue
and says, hey, maybe at some point in the future we could get back together.
Or maybe at some point in the future we could give this relationship another tribe.
What exactly does this mean and where is this coming from?
And in order to answer this, you have to understand that we have this continuum of five stages
of getting back together, right?
We've talked about this in other videos.
We've talked about this on our website, a modern love.life, and what this really means
is that your ex is kind of moving through this emotional process as they go from being
very closed off to interacting with you to kind of slowly opening up to you and eventually
starting to see a future together with you.
Maybe that means getting back together.
Maybe that means dating each other or whatever, but if you're ex says maybe to the future,
what it means is that you're not in this early, early stage here, stuff.
Your ex is not like totally walled off against you or anything like that, but you're not
over here at the very end of the rainbow, so to speak, at what we call new beginnings
where your ex is very eager to want to be in a relationship with you.
You're kind of in this middle ground and what happens in this middle ground is that your
ex has having this tug of war back and forth with their emotions.
Part of them wants to interact with you.
Part of them wants to be with you.
Part of them wants to spend time with you, part of them maybe even wants to get together
with you, but there's another part of them that wants to pull away.
There's a part of them that remembers all the pain and all of the baggage and all the
emotional history and all of the drama that happened before, during and after the breakup,
right?
They remember all the fights.
They remember all the screaming and yelling.
They remember all the crying.
They remember all of the whatever happened, right?
And so there's this duality.
There's this back and forth between these two emotional forces, so if you're ex says
maybe in the future it means that they are enjoying the quality of the connection that
you're having right now, the remembering the good times.
They're enjoying the connection that the two of you are having in this moment as well.
The two of you are connecting right now, but there's still that footprint, that memory,
that lingering after effect of the poor emotional experience.
All the stuff that led up to the breakup of the stuff that happened before, during and
after the breakup.
All of the arguments, all of the things that didn't feel good, right, and so what's happening
is these two forces are kind of pulling back and forth.
There's part of your exit says, yes, yes, let's.
Let's, let's get together.
Let's, let's be close again, but there's another part of them that says, oh wait, last time
that happened, I got burned really bad.
I want to keep this a little bit distant.
So they say maybe in the future, right?
That way they don't have to decide right now.
They don't have to make a decision right now.
They don't have to put their heart on the line right now, and so what it means you should
do at this point if you want to get back together with your ex, is you need to understand that
they're coming from this place of confusion.
They're coming from this place of duality, and what you need to do is you need to shift
the focus of the interaction from being relationship focused, right?
Oftentimes when it comes to getting back together with an ex, we are very relationship focused.
We want to really lock that down.
We want to have the conversation about getting back together.
You want to have the conversation about being exclusive.
Again, we want to make it official.
We want to log into facebook and update our relationship status from single or it's complicated
or whatever to in a relationship instead of being relationship focused, because that can
skew your ex off.
What you want to do is you want you stay connection focused.
You don't want to really keep their focus on these like big decisions.
If they're hesitant, if they're not sold on the idea of the two of you getting back together
at this point, you want to focus on the connection instead because as long as the connection
feels good, they're going to continue to want to spend time with you and as long as they
going to continue to spend time with you and the connection continues to feel good, they're
going to spend more and more and more time with you and the more time they spend with
you, the more of a relational history in the more of an emotional foundation.
The two of you will have of closeness, of bonding and connection.
That'll bring the two of you together and over time, this will cause them to feel much
more comfortable saying yes to you in the future, so if you want to learn more about
how to really stay connection focused and how to help your ex feel more comfortable
interacting with you so that you can build that solid foundation of emotional connection
that will eventually lead the two of you back together.
Here's what I'd like you to do, head down below this video.
If you're watching this over on our website, modernlove.life, and you'll find a link that
will take you to a page where you'll learn more about how to have these deep, strong,
powerful, emotional connections with your ex through developing what we call advanced
relational skills, and these are the kinds of skills that will really open the doorway
to your ex's heart and allow the two of you connect in a much more meaningful and deeper
way.
Again, that will be down below this video.
If on the other hand you're watching this video over on youtube, what I'd like you to
do is also had down below this video and there'll be a link in the description box for a website
called relationship inner game.com.
Go ahead and click on that link and it'll take you over to relationshipinnergame.com
and you can go ahead and fill out a short, painless little 30-second survey that'll just
give me a sense about what's going on specifically with you, what's going on specifically with
your ex.
How long has it been, you know, is your ex a man or a woman, you know, just just some
basic simple stuff like that.
Again, it should be completely harmless that you take only 30 seconds and once I know a
little bit more about what's going on, I'll send you some advice, tips and strategies
that will help you to start making that more meaningful emotional connection with your
ex.
Anyway, that is again, down below this video no matter where you are.
And um, yeah, this has been clay with modernlove.life and I hope this video has helped you improve
your Relationship Inner Game.
Talk to you next time.