Ivanka Trump,
senior aide to the president
and winner of Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
For the last week many liberals have been
calling for a boycott of Goya products
after the company CEO publicly praised Trump.
And yesterday Ivanka came to her daddy's defense,
influencer style.
Leading the news: a can of beans could open up
a whole can of worms for Ivanka Trump.
Critics raised ethics concerns
after the president's daughter and senior advisor
seemingly endorsed Goya beans on Twitter.
The move comes a week after the company's CEO
praised Mr. Trump at a White House event.
In last night's tweet she's holding a can of black beans
with the tag line "If it's Goya, it has to be good"
in both English and Spanish.
Critics pointed out that Ivanka may have violated an ethics law
that forbids White House employees from endorsing
any product, service or enterprise.
Okay,
that news is shocking.
There are still ethics laws?
I mean, I just assumed after Trump became president,
the office of ethics violations
got converted into a storage closet
for all of his old KFC buckets.
Clearly, Trump's ethics office
is just going along with whatever he does,
like it's normal.
I'm mean, they're-they're probably like the contractors
at Jeffrey Epstein's house.
So you want a cage in the middle of your living room.
Okay, and is it... Oh, it's to worship Satan.
O-Okay. Well, I'll get a quote to you ASAP.
Now, in the face of all these ethics complaints,
Donald Trump responded by doing
an even more elaborate Goya ad of his own.
Yes. Earlier today, the president
released a photo of himself
promoting a line of Goya products
from the Oval Office.
I mean, I'm glad the president is using his desk
for probably the first time in months, but come on, guys,
you got to admit this is pretty embarrassing.
The dude doesn't look like a president, he looks like
a local athlete who retired 15 years ago
and is desperate for money.
Seriously, this shit looks like the end of The Shining
if the movie was sponsored by bodegas.
And it's crazy how everything has become politicized
these days. Even beans.
Liberals are out there saying, "Boycott the beans"
and then Trump fans are like, "We're gonna elect
this can of beans to Congress."
If this is gonna happen with all foods, well, then
I'm calling dibs on water. Yeah, water.
Water represents my political beliefs.
And chocolate chip cookies, too.
But enough about Beanghazi,
because while Trump is developing a side career
in canned goods, his niece has become
a best-selling author with a new tell-all book
about the president's personal life.
And based on her interviews, this is not a book
Donald Trump would want to read if he could read.
What's the single most important thing
you think the country needs to know about your uncle?
He's utterly incapable
of leading this country.
And it's dangerous to allow him to do so.
Based on what you see now
or what you saw then?
Based on what I've seen
my entire adult life.
And if you were in the Oval Office today,
what would you say to him?
Resign.
Whew.
Can you imagine having that kind of a relationship
with your uncle?
Rather than the normal kind, you know, where your uncle
buys you birthday presents for you until sometime
in your teens, then gradually forgets that you exist.
Now, the book was released yesterday
and it's already shot to number one on Amazon.
And two things in the book have stood out so far.
First, that Trump
paid someone to take the SATs for him.
And you know, I'll be honest--
I'm not even mad about that.
I'm mad that he didn't keep that attitude as president.
Say you're president,
but then pay someone else to do the job.
Like Hillary. She's free.
She could have done all the work and then, as Trump,
you could have read all the speeches.
Today my administration announces that we're
increasing funding for affordable housing.
Oh, wow. I didn't see that coming.
And the second shocking revelation in this book
is when Mary Trump writes
that Donald once saw her in a bikini and said,
"Holy shit, Mary, you're stacked."
That is so gross.
All of a sudden your uncle picking his toes
at the dinner table doesn't seem so bad now, does it?
Because, I mean, I knew Donald Trump was a creep,
but his own niece?
Like, is there anything that this guy won't get horny from?
I'm pretty sure if you taped a picture of some breasts
to a tree Trump would walk by like,
"Damn, redwood, I had no idea."
Now, you might be shocked at how gross the president can be
to members of his own family, but you won't be
if you've been watching our show.
Because, as we've been reminding you
for years and years now,
don't forget:
Donald Trump wants to bang his daughter.
-(people groaning) -Yeah, I know, I know.
It's disgusting.
Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go,
America is facing a nationwide poll worker shortage.
And because most poll workers are over 60,
and COVID is still in the air,
they are understandably not showing up.
But fewer poll workers means fewer polling stations are open.
And that means longer lines that not everybody can afford
to stay and wait in, especially in communities of color.
But the good news is most poll work is paid
and in some states, you can be as young as 16 to do it.
So if you're interested and you have the time,
this is your chance to save your grandpa,
protect democracy and get some of that moola, too.
Sign up at the link below to learn more.