THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE IS REALLY HEATING UP.
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
THE IOWA CAUCUSES ARE JUST 11 DAYS AWAY, WHICH MEANS WE'RE
JUST 12 DAYS AWAY FROM NOT TALKING ABOUT IOWA FOR ANOTHER
FOUR YEARS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: MAN!
WE'LL MISS YOU, IOWA!
AND WITH IOWA JUST AROUND THE CORNER, LATEST POLLS SHOW
DONALD TRUMP IN THE LEAD.
(AUDIENCE BOOING) >> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT?
I LIKE HIM, TOO.
(LAUGHTER) YOU MIGHT HAVE TO GET USED TO
HIM.
BUT TO SEAL THE DEAL HE NEEDS EVANGELICAL VOTERS.
THAT'S WHY HE WENT TO LIBERTY UNIVERSITY-- THE LARGEST
EVANGELICAL COLLEGE IN THE WORLD, AND WOOED THE CROWD BY
PRAISING THEIR FAVORITE BOOK.
>> I WROTE MANY BESTSELLERS, LIKE "THE ART OF THE DEAL" --
EVERYBODY READ THE-- WHO HAS READ "THE ART OF THE DEAL" IN
THIS ROOM?
EVERYBODY.
I ALWAYS SAY, A DEEP, DEEP SECOND TO THE BIBLE.
THE BIBLE IS THE BEST.
THE BIBLE -- THE BIBLE BLOWS IT AWAY.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, THE BIBLE BLOWS IT AWAY.
IT GOES BIBLE, THEN "ART OF THE DEAL", THEN LIKE "FIFTY SHADES
OF GREY."
THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
(LAUGHTER) ALL GOOD BOOKS.
TRUMP LOVES THE BIBLE SO MUCH, HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO READ IT,
APPARENTLY.
BECAUSE HE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THE NAME OF ONE OF THE
BOOKS OF THE BIBLE, SECOND CORINTHIANS.
>> I HEAR THIS IS A MAJOR THEME RIGHT HERE.
BUT TWO CORINTHIANS, RIGHT, TWO CORINTHIANS 3:17.
THAT'S THE WHOLE BALL GAME.
"WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD"-- RIGHT?
"WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS, THERE IS LIBERTY."
IS THAT THE ONE?
IS THAT THE ONE YOU LIKE?
>> Stephen: YEAH!
THAT IS THE ONE THEY LIKE!
BUT HERE'S THE DEAL -- JON, YOU READ THE BIBLE.
>> Jon: YEAH, I DO.
YOU EVER HEAR ANYONE CALL IT "TWO CORINTHIANS?"
>> Jon: NEVER IN MY LIFE.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT CALLED?
>> Jon: SECOND CORINTHIANS.
>> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT, SECOND CORINTHIANS.
THAT'S LIKE SAYING THE BOOK OF JOB.
"WE CANNOT LET MEXICANS COME IN TO OUR COUNTRY AND STEAL OUR
BOOK OF JOBS."
(LAUGHTER) BUT THE PANDER EXPRESS DIDN'T
STOP THERE, BECAUSE WHILE HE WAS AT LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, TRUMP SAT
DOWN WITH THE CHRISTIAN BROADCAST NETWORK'S DAVID BRODY,
WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS.
>> I'M CURIOUS, HAVE YOU CRIED BEFORE?
>> NO, I'M NOT A BIG CRIER.
I LIKE TO GET THINGS DONE.
I'M NOT A BIG CRIER.
I'M NOT SOMEBODY THAT GOES AROUND CRYING A LOT.
BUT I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
I KNOW PLENTY OF PEOPLE THAT CRY.
THEY'RE VERY GOOD PEOPLE.
BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN A BIG CRIER.
>> STEPHEN: NO, NOT A BIG CRIER.
NOTHING CAN MAKE HIM CRY.
NOT WHEN BAMBI'S MOTHER GETS SHOT.
NOT THAT CHEERIO'S COMMERCIALS WHERE THE GRANDPA HAS TO GO LIVE
WITH HIS DAUGHTER, AND THE GRANDDAUGHTER LAYS OUT ALL HIS
FAVORITE KINDS OF CHEERIOS.
(CRYING) (CRYING)
NOT THE END OF "HOMEWARD BOUND: THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY," WHEN
THE OLD DOG "SHADOW" FALLS IN THE HOLE AND BREAKS HIS LEG, SO
HE CAN'T CLIMB OUT, AND THE OTHER DOG SAYS "COME ON SHADOW,
YOU CAN DO IT, DON'T LIE DOWN, SHADOW!
DON'T LIE DOWN!" (AUDIENCE REACTS)
THE POINT IS...
(LAUGHTER) REAL MEN DON'T CRY, AND DONALD
TRUMP IS A REAL MAN.
HOW DO WE KNOW?
LE.
>> AT THE TRUMP MUSEUM HE GOT ENDORSED BY THE LATE ACTOR'S
DAUGHTER.
>> IF JOHN WAYNE WERE AROUND HE WOULD BE STANDING BY ME.
>> JOHN WAYNE WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU NOW.
IT'S AN HONOR AND WE LOVE JOHN WAYNE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT WITH HIS NEW-FOUND SPIRITUALITY,
TRUMP HAS REACHED WITH HIS GOLDEN HAND THROUGH THE VEIL OF
DEATH AND DRAGGED BACK THE ENDORSEMENT OF JOHN WAYNE.
THE DUKE, THE TOUGHEST MAN NOT ALIVE!
ADMITTEDLY, IT WASN'T REALLY JOHN WAYNE.
IT WAS JOHN WAYNE'S DAUGHTER IN FRONT OF A WAX STATUE OF JOHN
WAYNE AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE A WAX STATUE OF DONALD TRUMP.
(LAUGHTER) BUT FOR ANYONE OUT THERE WHO
DOUBTS THIS ENDORSEMENT, CONSIDER THIS -- IF JOHN WAYNE
WERE ALIVE, HE WOULD BE AN 108-YEAR-OLD WHITE GUY AND THAT
SOUNDS LIKE A TRUMP VOTER TO ME.