-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. You made it. [ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you for watching at home.
And, guys, this is very exciting.
Legendary actor Al Pacino is my guest tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-Come on.
-All I know is, if Al Pacino were in Congress,
we would have had a speaker of the House on day one.
[ As Pacino ] Vote for McCarthy
and say hello to my little friend!
[ Normal voice ] That's right. Everyone's talking about this.
Earlier Saturday morning, after four days
and 15 rounds of voting, Kevin McCarthy
was sworn in as speaker of the House.
McCarthy was like,
"I'm just glad it didn't go to a 16th vote.
That would have been humiliating."
I can't even imagine what McCarthy was going through.
It must have felt like sitting outside Applebee's
and waiting four days for your disk to buzz.
"I'm in! I'm in! I'm in!"
After 15 rounds of voting,
McCarthy pulled off the impossible --
he got people to watch C-SPAN for an entire week.
Speaking of C-SPAN, you can tell even they were annoyed
with how long the voting took.
Just check out what they did after the announcement.
-The honorable Kevin McCarthy of the state of California
is duly elected speaker of the House of Representatives.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ It's about damn time ♪
♪♪
-Come on. -Wow.
-That was just a little unprofessional.
Some more big news from Washington.
I read that President Biden's all in for 2024
and is preparing to launch his re-election campaign
in February.
That's smart.
See how Valentine's Day goes, then make it official.
Meanwhile, this weekend, Biden traveled to Texas
and visited the southern border for the first time
since taking office.
After walking around for a few hours, Biden said,
"Well, just as I thought.
Being here did absolutely nothing."
At one point, a few migrants saw Biden at the border
and were like, "Good Lord, how long is the wait to get in?"
Well, people... [ Laughter ]
People were talking about this last night.
Prince Harry sat down for a "60 Minutes" interview
with Anderson Cooper.
Yeah, Prince Harry and Anderson Cooper.
The theme was "Fire and Ice."
[ Laughter ]
But the "60 Minutes" interview was a great chance
to hear Harry and Meghan's story
in case you missed their two-hour sit-down with Oprah
or their six-part Netflix documentary.
We really want to hear what you -- Yeah.
Hey, guys, I saw that the Mega Millions jackpot
has jumped to more than $1 billion.
[ Record scratch ]
-Say what?!
[ Laughter ]
-Yep, the jackpot is now worth an estimated $1.1 billion,
with $568 million in cash.
-Say what?!
-If someone wins, it would be the third-largest amount
in Mega Millions history.
-Say what?!
-That's right. And get this.
If no one wins tomorrow,
the jackpot will be even higher on Friday!
-Enough, Jimmy! Enough!
[ Explosion, funk music playing ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
-Some business news.
I saw that M&M'S is celebrating women by releasing packages
that only contain the three female candies.
[ Crowd cheering ] I know what you're thinking.
"Can't the packaging just say, 'No Nuts'?"
-Hey!
Say what?!
-And, finally, TSA agents at an airport in Florida
found a 4-foot emotional-support boa constrictor
in a woman's carry-on bag.
Seriously, how stressed do you have to be
for a boa constrictor to calm you down?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight.
Guys, do you ever see a photo in the news
and you think that headline should be different?
We're gonna take care of that right now.
It's time for "News and Improved."
Here we go.
-♪ News and Improved ♪
-For example, check out this first photo.
The original headline was...
That headline can definitely be improved
because if you only looked at the photo,
the headline could have been...
It's like...
[ Applause ]
Up next, this headline says...
But the headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
-"What?!"
-The next headline was...
The headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
Next headline was...
Headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
Next headline was...
Headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
I would see that. I would see that tomorrow.
[ Steve laughs ]
Next headline was...
Headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
"Fierce"? [ Laughs ]
Next headline was...
[ Audience cheers ]
Headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
This next headline was...
Headline could have been...
[ Applause ]
The next headline was...
Headline could have been...
"Huh? Huh? Huh?"
[ Applause ]
And finally, this headline was...
Headline could have been...
That's all the time we have for "News and Improved."