[SERIOUS] Men of reddit, who are unable to share their emotions with anyone, what would you like to share?
I'm soooo beep tired....
I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I'm terrified of the future.
I think about 100 what-if scenario a day.
I don't like to talk about myself Cuz I feel like I'm not interesting or people don't care about what I have to say about my life.
Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with
Edit: I couldn’t possibly reply to each one of you but you BEST BELIEVE i read each comment and my burden feels so much lighter know all those strangers just relate to me and comfort me without knowing me.
So thank you.
Also a lot have suggested i look into therapy or anxiety medication so i’ll do that.
It's one of those things where you don't know what is wrong with you
Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by.
I would never hear from the others again if I didn't message or call them first.
This isn't as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.
edit: Thank you all for the words of support or even just talking about your own experiences.
I wish you all the best friends in the world.
edit2: Thank you for all the rewards, but honestly I have no idea what they mean.
Reading your replies is more than enough.
If
these cost money please spend it on something for yourself, even if that is just a beer, a chocolate bar or something healthy.
Most people deserve that, I'm certain you do too.
If you are inclined to give, I'm sure there's nicer things you can spend it on than some mystified fool on the internet :)
I honestly can't keep up with the replies and messages but please check out the sticky if you're in any sort of need.
I'm sure the people on the other end of those links don't mind your questions or tales, however small they may seem to you.
I'd love to reply to you all but I can't and I'm sorry.
edit3: Some typo's and wording.
Have a wonderful morning, noon, evening or night.
I really want a hug.
I haven’t been hugged in so long.
It would be nice I think.
beep I just tried writing something for the past hour and I can’t share my emotions, even to a bunch of strangers on reddit, so I guess that’s something to share atleast
Edit: Thank you all so much for commenting, this is the first time i ever had this many people care about something I said.
I’m not the type for talking so I probably won’t ever message you about my feelings, the most I do in terms of showing my feelings is through music... either way I’m still reading new comments, you guys are awesome, really made my day
I dont want to accept the fact that I'm depressed because if I do then it'll be harder for me to overcome it
I dont want to exist anymore honestly.
I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I dont disappoint anyone anymore.
I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.
Sorry just going through some beep right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.
I distance myself from everyone in my life emotionally because the feeling of being vulnerable and truly opening up to people scares the beep out of me.
It always seems to come back to bite me in the ass when I leak a little bit too much information because I just want to be alone and forget about everything.
I wish I could live alone and have very little interactions with everyone, it’s always so draining to be around people day in day out with little alone time.
I don't want to talk about it, I just want a hug.
beep this pandemic, y'all.
I'll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic.
Wish me luck!
I'm tired of pretending everything is going well.
I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life.
I keep telling myself it will get better but nothing is going right.
I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay.
I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that's not possible.
**EDIT**Thank you so much for all your encouragement and kind words, I really appreciate it!
My day got better!
It's getting late here and I will continue reading and replying to you guys tomorrow!
I appreciate every single one of you, hugs!
I'm the oldest of 4 brothers.
My younger brothers are far more successful than me.
When we were growing up, I always felt like my parents never gave a beep about me as soon as my brothers showed up.
All through life, I had to listen to my parents comparing me, the oldest, to my younger brothers.
It was always humiliating.
I struggled with learning in school and my parents jus thought I was stupid or lazy.
They never really put in the time or effort to work with me or to understand my struggles, and I was just a kid so I didn't know how to express myself.
They didn't understand that I was bullied throughout most of my academic life and that it caused me to suffer from
social anxiety disorder.
As a kid, I always saw my parents providing opportunities for my brothers that they never did for me.
Even things like taking my brothers to the dentist to get braces so their teeth are nice, or helping them get into good universities, or allowing them to gain some work experience in the family business.
My one brother, the youngest, is now the owner of the successful family business, but I wasn't even invited to work there to help out the family keep it running.
Instead, I aimlessly drifted from one crappy retail job to another for many years, never really earning anything, always living in debt, and barely making ends meet.
I never could afford nice
cars or clothes or vacations that may parents and my siblings could, because I had to work hard to survive, because no one gave me any kind of support.
Now that I'm an adult, I'm married, and have kids of my own.
I live far away from my family, but I'm still jealous of people who have family members that they can get advice from, or who they can talk to about their problems.
I don't have anyone on my side of the family for any of that.
My parents basically don't give a crap about me.
They send me some facebook messages from time to time or make a like or a comment on one of my posts, but it's always surface level small talk.
This is something that my wife and I
discuss quite often because she's noticed too that my family are very distant from me.
She doesn't understand why I don't have a family that supports me, and I'm not even talking about financially supporting me.
I don't want or need that, but it'd be nice to be able to talk to mom and just get advice about something, instead of feeling like I'm the only one in the world.
It's pretty bad because where I live, I have ZERO family members around me.
The only family I do have are my wife's family who have been very supportive.
Her brothers are like my best friends, and I see and talk to her parents all the time but sometimes I feel like they only keep me around because of her.
At the end of the day, I'm not one of them, you know?
Anyway, I just kind of wish I had one of those tv-family relationships with my parents.
Where dad will show up and be like, *"Hey son, what say we go out back and play catch and have a talk?
"* but I've accepted that that's not me and never will be.
I've managed to keep myself in check by writing in a journal for many years.
All things considered, I'm doing OK but just know that alot of guys *do* have their problems even if they don't talk about them.
We bleed and show pain just like everyone else does.
**Edit/Upate:**
Wow, I logged back in after a few days and didn't realize how this comment took off.
Seriously you guys.
Ya'll don't understand (but maybe you do) how much your positive comments and PMs and awards, etc..., and all the words of support really overwhelmed me.
It made me burst with happiness to know that there are other people out there who *get it*.
As some how mentioned that I may have had narcisstic parents, yeah that's true.
They were/still are very narcissistic but I'm not a kid anymore and they can't push me around, so time and distance has really helped heal my wounds over the years.
I don't hate my family.
My mom was 16 and my dad was 18,
when they had me.
They were basically kids trying and looking back, I know for a fact that they didn't know the first thing about how to be parents.
It was all just trial and error for them.
They tested their parenting skillls and ideas on me, and whatever didn't work, they changed to be better parents to my brothers.
I still talk to my 3 bros, we have, I guess a good relationship, but their childhoods were ALOT different than mine so they can't relate to my experiences.
So we don't talk about.
Neither of us bring up the past that much.
Overall, I'm doing OK.
I'm raising my own kids and making sure to be the best dad that I could be for them, while also making sure not to repeat things that I've
experienced.
Again, thanks everyone for your support!
It totally wasn't expected.
I never thought anyone would actually read what I wrote but I'm glad you all did and now we can relate to each other on a more personal level.
Many of us have suffered these kinds of experiences but you know what?
We're still here.
We're survivors and we're doing the best we can.
That's all anyone can ask.
Take care of yourselves and each other!
I don't know how I feel half the time.
I find other people's emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathise with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.
I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting.
It's so hindering; I feel so beep stupid after it and just start cringing.
I don't know if I'm stupid or intelligent - I'm definitely lazy, I know that much.
I don't feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it's not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical
affection (not sex) and those interactions are few and far between.
I'm not scared of dying, but I'm scared of risking things.
Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living.
We have to create a point, and I don't know what I want my point to be.
EDIT:
I had no idea this would get so much attention.
Thank you for all the awards and comments, never knew how
good internet points could make you feel.
Sincerely, thank you.
I honestly can’t.
That’s basically the problem.
I just don’t care.
At all.
And it’s really hard to express that.
My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage.
I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her.
I cannot make mistakes.
But I *am* weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted - because I am only human.
2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us.
I have decision fatigue.
I wake up with a sense of dread.
All I really want to do is hibernate.
But I can't show it.
She 'loses faith in me' if I don't keep a stiff
upper lip and just 'handle it like a man'.
She supports in lots of practical ways - shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare - but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with.
She won't let me do that, because it scares her too much.
She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.
So I have to kind of bottle it up.
I used to have a group of male friends - I couldn't really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind - but Covid and moving have put an end to that.
I now feel that I have
no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.
It is affecting our marriage - because it doesn't feel like a partnership.
A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can't be my friend because friends don't have to rely on each other financially.
It's like being married to a housekeeper / secretary.
We have sex from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance - that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant 'real man'; anything less she says is 'disgusting'.
She doesn't even like cuddling afterwards
because she thinks it's 'pathetic' and 'real men don't cuddle, they f*ck and leave'.
I'm deeply, deeply unhappy.
But the only people who know are random internet strangers.
One day I swear I'm going to crack.
The only reason I don't is because we have a kid.
It's not worth sharing.
Every single person that I've opened up to (from my parents, friends, bullies, etc.)
used it againts me in some shape or form and it just psychologically messed me up.
I don't dare to say that I had depression, but made me become 100 times more careful when I speak my mind and I developed a habbit of talking to myself when alone because I just can't hold some toughts and feelings deeply locked up inside me.
Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we're doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.
​
Edit: Oh, well I certainly didn't expect this, thanks very much for the awards and shared kindness, do take care.
I am so very, very alone
Edit: thank you all for being kind.
Do me a favour, if you have a friend who you think/know is struggling, reach out to them.
It really could make a difference.
I just...
I just want to give all of you a hug.
Rest your souls, weary warriors.
Hey if anyone wants to DM me and release I promise to listen.
No judgement.
If you want advice or for me to respond with uplifting messages I’m here for you.
I do this with the men in my life.
I make sure to check in on them.
I let them vent about women, work, self esteem issues, doubts, insecurities, etc.
I care so much about humans.
And I feel so sad that men feel they can’t open up.
Just putting the offer out there in case someone needs it.
I really do care and want to be there for you.
Edit: thanks guys for all the awards.
I’ve been having a rough week myself and this is such a lovely gift.
Here for you all.
I feel blessed ❤️
I want to be free.
I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages.
I hate feeling and thinking.
This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world.
I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.
I'm tired of trying.
We can't/won't share it.
That's why we're all committing suicide.
theres only one person I want to talk to and she beep hates me
I am constantly angry, anxious and depressed...and it's absolutely exhausting.
I'm dying here.
Hard to stay optimistic
Nothing, I'm fine.
May your day be filled with joy and happiness.
And please remember to like, share, and subscribe for more quality content everyday.