A double turn of two of Raw’s biggest stars?!
Heel-a-mania runs wild?!
And Lesnar/Joe go 3x as long as Goldberg/Lesnar at Survivor Series.
I’m Luke Owen and Goodness Gracious this is Great Balls of Fire 2017… in about four
minutes.
Neville defeated Akira Tozawa
The Power of Tozawa wasn’t on the Neville Level, as The King of the Cruiserweights retained
his title on the pre-show.
Neville won by kicking the ropes into Akira Tozawa’s Great Balls of Fire in a decent
match with a flat finish.
Later in the show, Akira Tozawa told Titus O’Neal that he wanted a rematch.
Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins
The heat for this feud has been non-existent in the build, with neither character given
motivation to want to fight the other.
The two did try to get the crowd into the match though, with some hard hitting offense
including a wicked spike DDT on the ring apron, and a superplex which Rollins landed awkwardly
on the knee he hurt just before WrestleMania.
Bray Wyatt pinned the face of WWE2K18 with Sister Abigail after a thumb to the eye, in
what was a pretty boring match.
Big Cass defeated Enzo
There was a great video package before this encounter, which further highlighted that
it was too early to break this team up.
Enzo then cut a FAN-TAS-TIC promo before Cass came out with his new hilariously generic
entrance music.
This was more or less a squash match, with Cass picking up the win via a Big Boot.
What’s interesting is that the commentary team treated this like the end of the feud,
asking what’s next for Cass after this victory.
Shemaro defeated Hardyz
Shemaro picked up the first fall of the match within 16 seconds after a Cesaro distraction
and Sheamus Brogue Kick, and then went two up after 10 minutes.
The Hardyz scored one back at the twelve minute mark, but were counted out just after the
halfway point to make it 3-1.
With seven minutes left, The Hardyz scored a convoluted pinfall and then evened things
up at 27 minutes in via a top rope Twist of Fate.
At one point Matt got busted up really badly over his eye, and thankfully there was no
ref stoppage or break due to it being so close to the end of the match.
It looked like it was going to go to sudden death, but Cesaro pinned Jeff after he hit
the Swanton Bomb with thirty seconds left on the clock, and the buzzer went off just
after Jeff hit another Twist of Fate.
This was a great finish to a really well-worked match, and the crowd were really into the
closing moments.
Banks defeated Bliss via Countout
There was an incredible spot at the start of this match were Sasha took Bliss down by
her arm, and the Goddess sold it like she’d broken it [IMAGE].
Everyone from Sasha, Bliss, the ref and the commentary team sold it like a legit injury
spot and the crowd really bought into it.
But it was all a ruse as Bliss revealed she’s double jointed.
It was a really unique spot, but sadly it didn’t play into the match at all.
Instead Bliss worked over Sasha’s back, which she hurt on the ring apron [IMAGE].
This was a pretty good outing let down by a lazy ending we just saw at the last WWE
PPV, with the champion taking the count-out loss to retain her title [IMAGE].
After the match, Sasha attacked Bliss and delivered a double knees from the announcers
table [IMAGE].
The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose
Miz won after multiple interference from Maryse and The Mizterage.
There isn’t a lot more to say to be honest.
Miz worked over Dean’s knee to the point where he couldn’t stand up, and it was so
bad Dean jumped off the top rope three times and did a running tope.
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns
This was a brutal match at times, and did a great job of getting Braun over as a monster,
including no-selling various chair shots from The Big Dog.
Braun also did his “run into the post” spot three different times, before shaking
it up by running into the video screen at the back of the stage to a massive pop and
holy shit chants.
But it wasn’t enough to earn him the win.
Although Brawn was basically down and out, Roman beat himself by missing a spear directly
into the ambulance.
The real story came after the match, when Roman speared Braun from the ambulance doors,
threw him into the ambulance and then drove it out into the arena parking lot, where he
backed it into a truck at high speed.
In a brilliant moment of realism, Curt Hawkins and Heath Slater were sent out for an “impromptu
match” while they dual screened with the aftermath of Roman trying to kill Strowman.
Heath won the match, but the finish wasn’t even shown on TV as fire engines arrived to
try and break Strowman out of the ambulance.
Strowman was great in this angle, refusing medical attention despite bleeding all over
the place.
This actually felt like a babyface turn for The Monster Among Men, as Braun heroically
walked away from the crash on his own two feet.
The commentators kept putting over how miraculous it was Braun survived, while demonising Roman
for driving the ambulance into the truck with a human being in the back.
Brock Lesnar defeated Samoa Joe
With such a big angle, you’d think the crowd would be dead for this match, but they came
alive as soon as Joe’s music hit and remained hot throughout.
Joe attacked Lesnar before the bell and drove him through the Spanish announce table, but
The Beast was able to get back into the ring.
This was a hell of a match but it only went around six minutes.
There were six German suplexes, multiple attempts at the Coquina Clutch and several moments
where it looked like Joe was going to win, but more time could have made this a much
better match.
In the end it only took one F5 to put down the Samoan Submission Machine, and Lesnar
retained the Universal Championship.
Brock did a fantastic job of putting Joe over in defeat, and there was a lot of room left
open for a possible rematch.
So that was Great Balls of Fire, here’s the usual Raw ratings rundown: In Awe, Cor,
AveRAWage, Poor and Bore.
I’ll give my thoughts in a moment, but first vote in the poll above my head to let me know
what you thought.
I’ll announce the results in tomorrow’s news.
Like Extreme Rules, the wins were heavily stacked in the heel column.
Neville, Bliss, Shemaro and Miz all retained, and Braun beat Roman.
Lesnar is often positioned as a heel, but he played the babyface in peril on this show,
so that could go either way.
Which means the only true babyface who won their match - or won a title - was Heath Slater
and that wasn’t even shown on TV.
It’s a common problem in WWE at the moment, but that could change now Brawn Strowman has
seemingly turned babyface, and it will be interesting to see how they follow this up
on tonight’s Raw - especially if they fully turn Roman Reigns heel.
Great Balls of Fire was a pretty decent PPV, but only the Tag Team Iron Man match delivered.
Roman and Braun was a fun brawl, but it was more about the following angle than the match
itself, and Lesnar/Joe wasn’t given the time it fully deserved.
Everything else on the show was middling to average.
Great Balls of Fire 2017 is AveRAWge.
Remember The Undertaker’s forgotten gimmick?
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I’ve been Luke Owen, and that was wrestling.