I got to Chicago about a week ago.
Been here running around, filming a little bit, and working on my transition over to
Southeast Asia, which is going to be my very next trip.
Something that has come up a lot in the Tripp Advice community that I wanted to share with
you today is the idea of confidence.
I want to talk about the three biggest male mindsets, confident mindsets that drive a
woman wild.
They all work together.
They're all very similar, but I've divided them into three different sets to be able
to explain it to you better.
The first mindset that I want to talk about in terms of confidence and what drives a woman
wild and attracted to you is the idea of being able to be decisive, making decisions and
following through with them.
This comes up a lot in the dating and courting process.
Decision start from the very first minute that you want to go up and say hi to a girl,
all the way to you asking around, getting her on a date, making the first move, getting
into a relationship, asking a girl to marry you.
These are all decisions that you have to make and follow through.
A lot of guys who are not confident, they take a long time to make decisions.
Why?
They're not sure whether or not it's going to work out.
Let me say this, it is okay and normal to have fear inside of you, or have emotions
come up when you're trying to make a decision.
What I want you to do is I want you to be able to take those emotions step to the side
and say, I'm going to make this decision anyways.
It can be very small to very big.
Big to being whatever you want to do with your life, all the way to small saying, what
am I going to eat for lunch today?
Or where's the place where I'm going to take this girl?
Being decisive is something that a girl is looking for in a man.
The second mindset is the idea of self worth, self esteem, self respect, all synonymous
and all the same idea.
Whereas you ask yourself the question, are you worthy of happiness?
You ask yourself, am I worthy of happiness?
Am I worthy of being happy?
If that's the case, then you would be making a lot of different decisions.
Every little thing, especially when we're talking about dating and maybe going up to
that girl who is extremely attractive, that you want to say hi to.
A lot of guys will shy away from it because they have low self esteem, they think in a
subconscious manner, I'm not worthy of that girl, she is out of my league.
We use this “league” terminology, putting her on a pedestal, saying that she has more
value.
That says to yourself, I'm not worthy of having her, I'm not worthy of happiness.
We need to reframe this whole idea.
Hopefully, if you're watching this, that you are worthy of happiness because you're trying
to learn something new in terms of growth and getting what you want.
You are already on the first step there of saying to yourself, I am worthy of something
awesome.
But we got to work on that on a deep subconscious level to say, there's a girl over there I
want to talk to.
I am worthy of having her because I am worthy of happiness.
This is one chunk and one part of self esteem.
Next is conquering shyness.
Lot of girls will see a guy who's shy and they won't be attracted to that guy.
Of course, there's always exceptions, I could see a girl writing in saying, I like shy guys.
Here's the thing, you don't, you probably never met a shy guy.
The guy who's shy is someone who is not going to be going up and approaching a girl.
We need to make sure we conquer the shyness.
Did you know that when you go up to a girl, that automatically she assumes that you are
confident?
Did you know that even if you're not great at conversation, even if you stumble through
words, she is still going to think that you're confident and be very attracted to that?
Why?
Because you made the grand gesture of going up and saying hello.
This mindset is going to get her saying, this guy is a possible selection.
You are stepping in front of all of the other guys who are not going up and saying hello.
That's the third male mindset, being able to conquer shyness.
I know that all three of these work together and they're all similar.
We're talking about self esteem, beating the shyness, about being decisive and we work
on these together.
This stuff can be a little bit vague.
How do we start working on this?
How do we throw all this together and start to defeat shyness, start to be able to make
decisions, start to build your self esteem?
The way that I've been able to teach this is through a method called Systematic Desensitization.
I did not make that up.
That's a term that's used in behavioral therapy, to get people over their fears and go after
what they want.
You, in this case, it's probably attracting hot, amazing, intelligent, beautiful girl.
How do you do that Systematic Desensitization?
Let me walk you through it quickly.
Very slowly, you work your way up to being better with women, being better conversation
with women, being better at approaching women, being able to go up and approach a woman and
you do it in a systematic way.
You do it in a way that helps you desensitize yourself to the fear and helps you build the
skill of approaching and attracting women.
How do you do that?
Baby steps.
A lot of guys think, I just need to go up to a girl and attract her right away.
I've been preaching this for a very long time.
You don't need to do that.
You can practice talking to girls, to people, to anyone and building that skill in baby
steps.
Going up and asking for directions, going up to a girl and saying hello or waving hi
or giving her a smile.
I know that sounds silly, but these are the ways to desensitize yourself and build and
do that confidence so you can be able to get better and be able to create this confident
mindset.
I always say that confidence is more of a verb, you do it.
Confidence equals competence, you become competent in something by doing something over and over
again.
More on this later, I gotta go now because I’m heading to the Southeast Asia very soon,
but I want to get you my free gift if you haven't got it already.
It's called Chick Crack and it’s going to help you with conversations, going to teach
you the conversation topics that women love to talk about to make this whole process easy
for you.
Go in the description below, put your email in and get that.
I'll send it right to your email, then you can learn how to talk to girls and we can
work on this whole confidence thing.
See you later.