Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we will learn about eleven early signs your
relationship isn’t going to last. Now, let’s begin.
How do you know if or when your relationship is failing? In the early stages, many relationships
feel like a confusing and exciting flurry of emotions. You’re swept up in all the passion
and enthusiasm of a new connection. Every moment feels like a whirlwind, but as the dust begins
to settle, you might begin to wonder: is this relationship really going to last?
It’s natural to think about the future. After all, no one wants to invest time,
energy, and emotion into a relationship that has no long-term potential. You want to know,
without a shadow of a doubt, that you two have something special, something
with real potential to grow into a lasting relationship. Otherwise, you’re wasting your
time with someone who isn’t a good fit for you. Unfortunately, you can never be 100% sure that
your partner is your soul mate, but you can figure out, with relative certainty, whether
you’re barking up the wrong tree. In other words, if you step back and examine your relationship,
you can identify red flags long before your relationship heads into dangerous territory.
This is especially important in the early stages of your relationship when your future together is
still undefined. During this formative period, you and your partner begin to create and mold
your dynamic as a couple. What you do and say in the first few months, for example,
has a rippling impact on how you interact down the road. If you’re seeing red flags now,
in the early stages, it’s safe to assume those red flags will become more apparent in the future. So,
what red flags should you be looking for? What telltale signs indicate that you and
your partner are incompatible? In this video, we’re going to
cover eleven essential signs worth looking for you in your relationship,
even if you and your partner are on good terms. If all the signs on this list sound unfamiliar,
then your relationship may be strong. It may even go the distance. But if you notice more
than one of these eleven red flags, these may be early signs your relationship isn’t going to last.
1. Passion Isn’t Enough
You may feel an intense desire for your partner, but physical attraction may be as deep as your
feelings go. It’s common in the early stages of relationships for partners to connect on
passion alone. When it comes time to deepen your connection, you may realize how little you have in
common. You don’t share similar values. You live your lives very differently. On a basic level,
you may not even like each other as people, even if you find each other attractive.
If this rings a bell, there’s a good chance your relationship isn’t meant to be. Instead of love,
you’re likely experiencing infatuation. While passion can drive a successful
short-term relationship, it’s not enough for a deeper, more personal connection.
2. Proving Your Love Here’s a telltale sign that your
relationship is heading into rocky territory. Every once in a while, you may feel like your
partner is testing you. They may ask you for a favor or pose an open-ended question as if your
response dictates the future of your relationship. What your partner is doing is not only unhealthy
and unfair but also a common sign of distrust. They’re essentially asking you to prove how
much you care about them. Here’s the problem. No matter what you do or say,
they’re not going to be satisfied. You might pass the first test, but there
will be another… and another… until eventually, you make a mistake. From that moment onward,
your partner will hold that mistake over your head, leading to all kinds of long-term issues.
Don’t be with someone who constantly needs you to prove how much you care.
Even if it isn’t a problem now, this toxic behavior is a reliable sign of problems to come.
3. The Tiniest Fights Do you and your partner disagree about tiny,
mundane issues? Do you find yourself arguing over things that have no bearing on your relationship?
This is common among couples who are not meant to be together. They fight about the smallest things,
struggling to see eye to eye because deep down there are conflicts they have not resolved.
These mundane issues become substitutes for deeper issues, which may be impossible
for either of you to admit or overcome. As mundane as these arguments seem, don’t overlook
the bigger problems they represent. When those big problems eventually come to the surface, your
relationship will almost always pay the price. 4. Hidden Weaknesses
In the early stages of every relationship, we want to look our best for our partners. Unfortunately,
this same mindset can lead to problems early in your relationship. It’s natural to show off
your strengths to your partner, but you should also be willing to expose your vulnerabilities.
That’s often what it means to be intimate with someone, yet many partners
are unwilling to show any signs of weakness. They struggle with simple things like admitting
their mistakes or addressing their weaknesses. Every time you try to help them, it devolves
into an argument and creates conflict in your relationship. If this behavior sounds familiar,
encourage your partner to let down their guard. Otherwise, your relationship probably won’t last.
5. The Unconscious Filter When you’ve lost faith in your relationship, you
may catch yourself telling negative stories about your partner. Why? Because you want your friends
and other people to give you the one piece of advice you want to hear: it’s time to end things.
Oftentimes, we unconsciously filter our thoughts and ideas so that other people
will react in the way we want. For example, if you’re convincing your friends that your
partner isn’t good for you, chances are your relationship won’t last much longer.
6. Awkward Conversations Do you find it difficult to engage
in simple conversations with your partner? You have limitless things to talk about,
yet your conversations never feel comfortable or natural. Somehow, you both struggle to get the
words out of your mouths, leading to awkward silences and frequent miscommunications.
Talking is, in many ways, fundamental to every successful relationship. It’s how you express
emotions, solve problems, and grow closer as a couple. If you’re not talking regularly,
that closeness will never develop, and your relationship will come to an end.
7. Searching for Excuses Do you often make plans without your significant
other? You may find yourself more excited to spend time away from your partner than you are to spend
time with them. For instance, you may search for excuses to spend every weekend with your friends.
Why? Because you and your partner aren’t meant to be. You’re searching for reasons
to get away because your relationship isn’t as strong or long-lasting as you think.
8. Stuck in the Past Nothing is more frustrating than
your partner talking about their ex. Whether they’re reminiscing about fond memories or
complaining non-stop about their ex’s behavior, talking about past partners is a big red flag.
If your partner has truly moved on, they wouldn’t spend their time thinking about
someone from their past. Instead, they would be thinking about their future with you.
Don’t ignore this warning sign of problems to come. If your partner is frequently talking
about their ex, they may be stuck in the past. Or worse, they may still have feelings for someone
else. Either way, talking about past partners means your relationship is on its way out.
9. Suspicion by Default Think about the last time you did something
nice for your partner. How did they react? When a relationship is failing, it’s common for partners
to become unreasonably suspicious and distrustful. Let’s say, for example, that you go out of your
way to buy your partner a thoughtful gift. In a healthy relationship, your partner
would appreciate the gesture and realize how much you care about them. On the other hand,
if your relationship is struggling, your partner may become suspicious of your
intentions. Insecurity drives your partner to assume the worst, turning your nice and
thoughtful gestures into a slap in the face. If your relationship was strong before,
this problem can be fixed with effort and communication. But if you’re still in the
early stages and it’s already an issue, it may be best to go your separate ways.
10. Clashing Social Preferences Do you like your partner’s friends?
Every relationship involves more people than just you and your partner. You’ll need to
socialize together, make friendships together, and interact with the same social circles.
But if you don’t like your partner’s friends or family, that problem may never go away.
There are many reasons why you may not like your partner’s social group. You may dislike
the person your partner becomes around their friends. Or maybe you just don’t like the effect
their friends have on your partner’s life. Either way, your clashing social preferences
will be a problem now and in the future. If you don’t like your partner’s friends,
or if they don’t like yours, the two of you may not be meant for each other.
11. Fearful Dishonesty Perhaps the biggest red flag is
if you can’t be yourself around your partner. In a good relationship, you should have the freedom to
be your genuine self at all times. You shouldn’t be afraid of judgment or criticism, nor should you
hide parts of yourself out of fear or distrust. It’s possible your own baggage is playing a role
in your insecurities. In that case, it’s okay to take your time and open up slowly.
But, if your partner is the root of your fears, they are not a good fit for you.
Your relationship should be the one place where you can let down your walls and be your honest
self with no repercussions. If that isn’t the case, your relationship isn’t going to last.
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