- The festive season.
It can be a wonderful time
with joy, merriment, happiness and love,
or it can be fraught with dilemmas
and potential ass (dog barks).
I'm here to solve your Christmas-y dilemmas.
I'm like Santa Claus, Leicester Claus.
So I'm not doing Reddit this time.
I've decided to go into a much more moral place, Tumblr,
and help you guys decide if you're the festive hole
and you're gonna get coal
or if you're sliding into my good list.
So get yourself a snack as it is time to dunk ourselves
into some sweet Christmas tea,
hot chocolate, cocoa, spiced cocoa.
Oh my God, there must be over a thousand submissions here.
You guys have got some holiday issues.
I feel like before I delve into this,
I need to meditate a bit.
- [Instructor] Awareness is beyond time, space
and duality itself.
(festive music)
- "Am I, M, 22, the hole for telling my," (laughs)
I regret this whole thing, I'm sorry.
"Am I the hole for telling my boyfriend's parents
that we're together on Christmas?"
Ooh, bad timing dude. I'm already feeling hole here.
"He wanted to keep up the roommates act,
but I just couldn't handle it
and I feel like he's ashamed of me."
There is a lot going on here,
but you can't just out the relationship
before the boyfriend's ready.
He might not fully be out yet,
or there could be some complex family dynamics
why they don't wanna bring it up yet.
I feel like you doing that
puts so much pressure onto the boyfriend and the parents
and you all in this enclosed space
while you're all in this house
for what's meant to be a happy time.
I mean, they could have been accepting and happy,
but there might have been a multitude of reasons
why the boyfriend wasn't ready to say it.
I would say bad timing dude.
I see where you're coming from.
I don't think they'd be ashamed of you.
I feel like you could have had that conversation
with your boyfriend in private
rather than announcing it over the turkey.
"Can you pass the gravy Sally?
By the way, I'm having sex with your son."
No. Bad, bad, bad choice.
"Am I the hole for not getting
my boyfriend's family anything for Christmas
because I couldn't afford it
even though they always get me something."
That's tough. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.
Is there anything you could do?
I don't think Christmas should be about,
"You spent $7 on me so I deserve it back."
It should just be more about the general merriment.
Could you club in with your boyfriend
and get a joint present?
Maybe like a nice handwritten card
saying you'll cook them all meals sometime
or put a nice picture in a frame or something.
I don't really think they'll care.
So no, save your money. Get on my good list.
"Am I the hole for making my girlfriend
think I died in a fire?
(Phil laughs)
For context, I live in Australia."
Oh yeah, you've got a hot Christmas, don't you?
That must be so strange.
I mean the UK weather isn't great obviously,
but I do like that we get a bit of snow sometimes.
"I live in Victoria, Australia.
The rest of my family lives up in Queensland,
so most of the years for Christmas
we do a family road trip up to visit the rellies.
We've done it since I was little
and it's sort of a family tradition."
This is terrible. I can't. (laughs)
I was trying, I'm sorry.
"A few years ago there was some serious bush fires here.
We checked beforehand
and didn't think they'd affect our route too much
so we went ahead with the road trip.
As we were driving up, I was messaging my girlfriend
about the trip and other random things
and sending her photos of the view
from the window whenever we saw something cool.
In most of the photos,
the sky was pretty red 'cause of the fires.
We hadn't actually seen any fires
until we went through this massive cloud of black smoke
and I saw some flames off in the distance.
Not gonna lie, it was a bit scary.
So I sent some photos to my girlfriend
and making a joke about the flames coming closer."
What? Why?
Why? Why?
"Because we all know humor is the best coping strategy."
True. I do like a good joke in times of peril.
"Unfortunately, we're in the middle of Australia
and the internet reliability here is rocky at best of times.
So as soon as we sent the pictures through,
I lost connection
and none of my follow-up texts went through.
Cue my girlfriend panicking back in Victoria
that I died a heat death on the way to Queensland
and she'd never see me again."
(foghorn blasts) This is terrible.
Your girlfriend must have been so stressed.
"Eventually," okay, "I regained my bars
and her messages came through,
but we were well out of the smoke by now
and I was in a cheeky mood and in the middle
of watching "Fellowship of the Rings" on the laptop
so I left her messages marked unread
until we got to the motel."
What?!
You left her thinking you were dead for a joke?
Okay, I'm sorry I haven't read the rest,
but I'm going with hole.
Skippy the bush kangaroo
is not gonna rescue you out of that hole.
"Safe to say I was in trouble.
Everything's fine now and it's being laughed off as a joke.
But she still brings it up sometimes
when she wants to win an argument,
which makes me think it affected her
a bit more than I intended it to."
Yes.
That was a hole-y thing to do,
but I feel like you could sit down maybe
and be like, "Hey, I've been really thinking about this.
I'm so sorry for making you think I was dead in a fire.
It was silly."
Maybe then you'll just feel
that hole get released a bit, you know?
Wow, that was wild. But hey, good timing.
If you are feeling stressed over the holiday season,
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I've got a lot better with that.
A festive tree of rest meditations help me get to sleep.
Ooh, a video about giving plants as gifts.
I have been propagating my plants,
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You get 60 days for free
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Just treat yourself to a bit of mindfulness.
Thanks Headspace.
Now, to stress myself out again with more of your dilemmas.
"Am I the hole for always checking my mum's Amazon account
to see what she bought me for Christmas?
She's a terrible gift giver
and sometimes if it's really bad,
I'll cancel the order on Amazon."
What? You are logging into the Amazon and canceling it?
That's terrible.
"She'll then ask me why it was canceled
because she doesn't understand technology
and I'll tell her it must be outta stock
so she doesn't need to buy me another one.
This has happened three times."
No, that's bad.
I feel like gifts are 75%
about the person giving them feeling a joy of giving
and not about you wanting the weird socks
or whatever your mom's got you.
So no, stop it. Just accept the gift.
I think what you could do is say,
"Hey mom, here's a little Christmas list
of things I'd like," so you don't get a taxidermy dog
or whatever you're finding under the tree.
But in this case I'm gonna say it.
You are the hole and you're getting some coal.
"Am I the hole for leaving my family's festive activities
to watch the new Dan and Phil Gamingmas video?
No Gamingmas is (laughs) more important than your family.
I'm kidding. Am I?
"My family often got frustrated with me leaving family time
from 2014 to '18 to watch the new video.
They got a break while you were on hiatus,
but now you're back.
I feel like I'm gonna a ruin Christmas."
You can leave family Christmas for 15 minutes
to watch a Dan and Phil video.
And if that's a problem,
just say you're going to the toilet
and watch it on your phone.
You're not the hole.
And if you haven't checked out Gamingmas,
there is a dearth of Dan and Phil videos
waiting for you like a festive treasure trove of treats
and only a small amount of tricks.
"Am I the hole for not decorating for Christmas?
I'm not a Christmas person.
I'm a Halloween person.
And ever since I moved out in my early twenties,
I haven't decorated for Christmas.
My family hate this
and try and pressure me into buying stuff.
Now my neighbor's in the building
sent around a leaflet about decorating.
Would I be the hole to not decorate?
I just can't be bothered."
You are not the hole.
It's your house, do what you want.
If you wanna have Halloween all year round, go for it.
Or could you compromise
and have a "Nightmare Before Christmas" theme?
That could also work.
You're fine.
"Am I the hole for sending my dad
a Christmas card from a random name
and watching as he spent the whole of December ranting
about how he couldn't remember the person?" (laughs)
I saw a lot of this on TikTok last year.
He was frantically looking
for the non-existent person's details
to send a card back to.
I think no, that was really funny.
As long as you told him in the end
and he is not currently suffering.
Like, "Who is Ruth and Jim?"
I feel like that kind of prank can last a day and no more.
Otherwise it becomes cruel.
So one day, you're fine.
Three days, I think you're teetering into the hole.
"Am I the hole for ruining Christmas
for my boyfriend and best friend?
For starters, me, F20, and this girl, F20,
are not friends anymore.
We used to be besties in middle school,
but we started hanging out in different crowds
so we lost touch.
We always celebrate the holidays together
and exchange gifts.
Well this year we'd been closer than past years
'cause we graduated college.
We still haven't seen each other as often.
Imagine my surprise when I find out
when my boyfriend works with her."
Okay?
"They work at a Christmas shop that's only seasonally open."
This sounds like some kind of romantic comedy.
"I wanted to surprised my boyfriend
by going to pick him up from work since I never do.
But before I could even park,
I saw them through the window packing up and closing.
They seemed very flirty with each other."
Oh no, don't do it.
"Laughing and throwing Christmas plushies
and stuff at each other.
I tried not to think anything weird about it,
but she had never mentioned to me
that she worked with my boyfriend."
(siren blaring) That is a red flag.
Do you think there's some after-hours shenanigan going on?
"I drop it until last week when I noticed
my boyfriend arriving later and later home from work."
Oh no, They're doing it in the Christmas tree.
"Sometimes he stays late,
but now it's just a few hours at least.
I decided against my better judgment
that I'm gonna go watch him after work."
I feel at this point that's justified.
You're just gonna go see what's going on.
"I knew what time he got out
and I just wanted to see if he was actually staying late.
I sat in my car across the street,
watched them working together again and closing up
and I watched my middle school best friend
kiss my boyfriend."
No!
"In the Christmas shop
and then watched them grope each other
before disappearing away from the window view."
They were effing in the tree.
"I'm devastated.
And to make matters worse, my best friend keeps asking me
when we're doing the gift exchange."
F that. "You slept with my boyfriend.
How am I meant to go about this?
Am I the asshole if I bring it up
and ruin everyone's Christmas
or should I wait until after the holiday season?
'Cause things will get messy,
but also I can't stomach being around either of them.
I don't know what to do."
You have to- (punch thuds)
Enthusiastically hit myself in the balls with my phone.
I was so excited by the story. This is actually crazy.
I feel like the only way to deal with this
is to blow up Christmas
in the most spectacular way possible.
Now, I've gone into movie brain here.
The reasonable person
would go have an adult conversation with both of them,
but I kind of want you to go to the Christmas gift exchange
and then give them both gifts
and then they open it and it's just a piece of paper
that says, "I know." (laughs)
But it's up to you.
I would really enjoy that if I watched the movie.
This is your life.
You are not the hole if you ruin their Christmas.
They ruined your Christmas.
They don't deserve a gift.
They can get in the bin.
That was drama. Oh my gosh.
"My dad died last year."
Okay, that's a drastic change from the last one.
"It's chill. But I've..."
(laughs) Sorry. I've just never heard anyone say
that someone died and then saying it's chill.
I am sorry to hear that.
"But I found out he was having an affair
with my best friend's mom.
She's a super important person in my life
and I feel really betrayed by her.
But now, it's Hanukkah time
and I keep ignoring her when she tries to reach out.
My family says I should move on and answer the phone,
but I'm still mad."
That is a complex, effed up series
of things you've gotta deal with.
If this person is really important to you,
I feel like you need to kind of process what's happened.
If it is an important relationship to you,
you should really think about if you want it to continue.
And if you do, give it a chance
to just have a conversation and see where you end up.
"Hello, Philip. I am an avid Playmobil enthusiast."
I don't (laughs) I dunno where this is going.
"And have used their advent calendar since infancy."
Okay.
"My favorite is 4155 Christmas in the Forest."
I have to Google this. Is this real?
Oh, oh, it's real.
Okay, that's cute. I'm invested.
"My favorite of the animals is the boar child."
What is this? What is this?
"Or the 'boarlet,' which makes an appearance
in many Playmobil packs.
I suspect my friend of stealing my boar
and replacing it with its own
as the boar in my pack now has rough sides
when mine was smooth from rubbing it as a child."
You don't want a rough boar in the mix.
"Would I be the hole
if I planned a heist to swap them back?
Merry Christmas from BOARBOY."
(laughs) See, I don't think we'd get this gold from Reddit.
We've got a certain energy from these Tumblr asks
that are truly unmatched.
Hi BOARBOY, I don't think you're the hole
for wanting to do a boar heist.
Your friend shouldn't have taken your pristine boar
and I support your actions in getting it back.
"Am I the hole for throwing a wine bottle holder
my grandma gave me for Christmas in the trash?
Devastated that I can't find a picture of it,
but it was a giant pink, bedazzled, high-heeled shoe."
Oh no. "Truly the most atrocious object I've ever seen.
But it was a gift from my grandma
and I threw it in the trash."
Here's the thing, you're a mild hole for this.
What you could have done is the Dan Howell special.
Put it in a drawer.
When grandma comes over, open a little bottle with it.
Go, "Look at this shoe. I love it so much."
Then put it back in the drawer when she's gone.
The trash was harsh.
"I, 30 male, work for a niche business
delivering Christmas trees while wearing a kilt.
(laughs) No, you are sneaking me.
"It's not as kinky as it sounds.
Usually, it's just middle-aged women
trying to spice up their life.
The problem is it's effing cold
and I don't like kilts.
Lately, I haven't been wearing it.
No one said anything except recently I delivered
to these guys and I saw the disappointment
in their eyes when I showed up.
I think one of them started crying
and posting about the disappointment on social media.
I feel bad, but also, why do I have to freeze my balls off
for random people each year?
So am I the hole for not wearing a kilt?"
If you don't know the context, I don't have a car
and it's annoying to get a tree in London.
So I found a service that will deliver a tree to your house
and their biggest selling point
was it's delivered by a man in a kilt.
I'm not looking for kilted men to deliver me things.
I just thought it'd be a nice bonus.
So every time, the man has not arrived in a kilt,
and I've been a little bit disappointed.
Having read his perspective.
No, I don't think you should be wearing
a kilt in the icy temperatures,
but maybe get your boss to remove it from the website.
Maybe just put a santa hat on or something.
Maybe next year I'll just answer the door in a kilt
and even everything out.
"Am I the hole for having a Grinch fetish?"
(laughs) I can't.
"I have a Grinch fetish.
My boyfriend knows about this
and for the most part, accepts it."
Great. Celebrate your truth.
"He isn't crazy about it and doesn't really get it,
but he at least tries and that's all I ask.
He'll sometimes read the book to me to set the mood."
This is so, I can't. I can't do this.
"Or if he's getting really kinky,
he'll tell me 'You're a mean one,'
in the heat of the moment.
He's even begrudgingly come around
to at least playing one of the three versions of the film
every time we, every time we do the deed.
Although we have to stay away from the live action one
'cause it's too much for me."
Okay?
"The thing is, I don't wanna hear about the Grinch
or listen to the Grinch or watch the Grinch.
I want..."
Oh, my. I can't read this.
"I want to be F-ed by the Grinch. (laughs)
And for the record, this is a common amongst women."
Is it? Is it?
Is it Susan?
"The Grinch's bulging sack of toys, to me and others,
is what a Mack truck is to Cardi B.
The fact that he's good with dogs,
it just makes me want that long fuzzy-"
Nope.
"My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
I told him straight up,
I want him to put on the greenest, silkiest
Grinch costume he could find.
Take me from my bed on Christmas Eve
and ravage me in front of the Christmas tree.
He refused and said it was too weird for him.
I was literally begging that man to,"
Oh my God. No, can't read that.
"If I don't drop the Grinch thing,
which as I said is incredibly common amongst women,
but sadly taboo, he's gone for good.
Am I the hole?
Is there a compromise or do I need a more adventurous man?"
(laughs) I think it would be hard
to find someone that's into the Grinch as much as you.
Is there a forum?
If your boyfriend's not into it,
you're gonna have to drop it.
Watch those Grinch videos on your own.
Then you gotta think, "Is the Grinch a deal breaker for me?"
And if it is, go forth and find your handsome green stud.
No, I'm not, I'm not. We're done.
You've ruined it. It's over.
I do not wanna be involved in this situation.
Wow. Thank you.
Hopefully, that made you all feel better
about whatever's in store for you this Christmas
'cause that was quite a chaotic group of problems.
I need to go meditate again after that.
- [Instructor] I'm just gently bringing
the attention back to the breath.
- Because I'm feeling kind,
If you like this video right now,
you'll be placed on my good list.
No matter what you've been up to.
You can check out Dan and Phil Games.
We've been having so much fun over there
and it'd be great if you could join us.
Thank you again to the legends Headspace
for sponsoring this video.
If you wanna try out my 60-day free trial,
you can click the link below, scan this QR code,
and start your meditation adventure.
Subscribe, have a wonderful life,
and I will see you very soon.
I'm never watching the Grinch again. Goodbye.