They can drive you absolutely crazy.
Toxic people are the worst.
The worst!
I'm gonna give you five ways
to handle them in this video.
So that you can turn the situation around.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I'm also an attorney.
I've seen it all.
I've helped people shift the dynamic.
Shift the paradigm.
So that they can become the most toxic people.
Break free from that drama, trauma and chaos.
Really take back their lives
and I wanna help you do the same thing.
Make sure you subscribe to the channel.
Hit that notification bell.
I've written two bestselling books.
Negotiate like a matter.
Breaking free a step by step divorce guide.
I wanna make sure that you can become
the most powerful person in the room
and become not just against narcissist,
toxic people,
but just really feel your power,
really become that most elite version of yourself.
Toxic people aren't going away anytime soon.
When you can really become that
most powerful version of yourself.
It really doesn't matter when they're around,
that's really when you become free.
They're like a nap flying around
that's when life becomes different for you.
So how do you handle toxic people?
Well, number one
Create super strict boundaries
because they've been conditioning
you from the beginning.
So when they've been conditioning
you from the beginning,
you've gotta start creating these super strict
boundaries so that you can start to heal.
Your brain is like foggy and it's been
turned into some kind of mush sometimes.
And in order for you to start to heal,
you've got to start creating boundaries
that are really really strict
because they're gonna look for ways in.
They're gonna look for ways to
have other avenues to get in
and so, you know,
I often say, have one form of communication.
One form of input.
You know, and I always say,
have it be a way that you can actually
document a date and time stamp.
A way that they can't manipulate.
Text messages can be manipulated.
Conversations that are you know,
oral, like talking
they can't be documented.
So email is a perfect way to be documented
because it really can't be manipulated.
The same way that text messages
can be manipulated.
So one way of handling
a toxic person is to create boundaries.
Create super strict boundaries.
Alright?
So that's number one.
Number two
They often they give you all kinds of battles.
All kinds of battles and you want to engage
in every single one of those battles.
Don't get involved in every single one.
You know, you wanna end up defending yourself.
You do wanna defend yourself.
Don't try to defend yourself.
You know, when you defend yourself.
you actually end up giving them that power.
When you do that, you're basically
saying there's an issue.
So don't do that.
Pick your battles.
You don't have to engage in every
single one that they throw out there for you.
Right?
Sometimes there are battles
that you wanna engage in.
sometimes there are not.
And that actually brings me to number three
as far as a way to handle a toxic person.
You don't have to take every single piece of bait
that they throw out there either.
Because they will try to engage
and get you to take bait
and part of the reason they do that,
not just for a narcissistic supply
which they do that too
because narcissists enjoy
the process of triggering you.
They enjoy the process of getting under your skin.
They enjoy the process of
watching you become emotional.
They enjoy the process of manipulating you.
They of course, get off on that.
They get a high from that.
They get narcissistic supply from that.
It's a form of enjoyment for them.
You know, regular reasonable
people aren't motivated by that,
but narcissists are toxic people are.
So you don't want to engage in it for that reason,
but they also use your reaction against you.
They go look, there's the crazy one.
There's the emotional one while they stand over there,
calm and collect it and so there you are and you go,
wait a minute, you're the one who was like that.
I was only reacting to you.
You were the one who was like that in the first place.
You were the one who started this thing.
And they go, ‘‘oh, no, no. We we're in this.’’
And you're like, ‘‘no, I was only being this way
because you were this way.’’
And then you're in it.
Then you're there.
You cannot take that bait.
You can't go down that path.
I know you want to,
but you don't have to do that.
Don't take that bait and, you know,
that's how you become ready to SLAY.
And if you are so ready to SLAY,
I want you to put that in the comments right now,
‘‘READY TO SLAY!’’
with that in the comments right now.
That's how you handle toxic people.
Ready to SLAY right now.
And that's you know, what I talk about with SLAY.
Strategy, Leverage, Anticipate
what they're gonna do,
be two steps ahead of them and focus on You.
Your position, your case.
Anticipate what they're gonna do
and be two steps ahead of them.
Anticipate that they're gonna try to give you bait
and don't take it.
So that's Number three way to handle a toxic person.
Number four
That's one of the ways that you're
gonna handle a toxic person.
You gotta have an agenda or a plan.
And one of the ways that you can do that is,
you know, when you know you're gonna
have to go and talk to them.
You know that they're gonna want to beat you.
You know that you're gonna get emotional.
You know that it's gonna be hard for you.
You know that your
heart's gonna start pounding.
You know that it's gonna
take your breath away.
You know that it's triggering for you.
Have an agenda or a plan when
you go to speak to them
and maybe even a time limit.
That way, when it goes beyond the
scope of what you're gonna be talking about,
or it reaches that time limit.
You can just say,
‘‘hey, Oh, no. We're sticking to this topic.’’
or if it reaches the time limit,
you can just say,
‘‘hey, I've got another engagement. I gotta go.’’
We're happy to pick this up another time.
Alright?
‘‘I'm looking forward to talking
to you in the next time. Bye.’’
But you know you're in
and out and it allows you to start feeling like
you are taking control of this situation.
Okay?
So that's the next one
have an agenda or a plan
and if you are getting ready
to negotiate with a toxic person
you're getting ready to negotiate
with anybody anybody even
if it's not a toxic person.
Make sure to grab my free
crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
crushmydeal.com.
Go to crushmydeal.com
Get it.
It's a free ebook fifteen pages.
crushmydeal.com
Go grab it right now.
You must have this I've had people
win their entire deals on this thing.
So grab it.
It's totally free.
crushmydeal.com.
Get it right now.
Number five
The number five way to handle a toxic person
You're gonna fluff up their ego.
You know, like they're you're fluffing up a pillow.
You know, you give them a little something,
something that they want.
So that you get a little something,
something that you want in return.
Fluff up their ego.
Give a little something that they want to eat a
little something t hat you want in return.
And how that looks is you know,
can you handle resolving
the quickbooks this month?
You are so good at it.
You're so smart.
It'll be done so much more
efficiently if you do it than if I do it.
I am terrible at it.
Don't say anything good about yourself
because they don't wanna hear that.
So you get something done that you want done
and I say fluff for favor vomit later because
you know, if you need to feel like you need to go
vomit later, go do that.
But then you got something done that you
wanted done and they got what they wanted
which is their ego got fluffed up.
So fluff for a favor and vomit later.
That's number five way to handle a toxic person.
You know, they do love to bait you.
They do love to get under your skin.
They do love to provoke you.
I have another whole video on this called
Five terrifying ways that narcissists
love to manufacture chaos and provoke you.
Which you definitely need to
go check out that video next.
So make sure you go put that on in your
agenda to go check out that video next.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel.
Hit that notification bell
because you need to make sure you have
all the tools in your hands to turn this
around come the most powerful person
against narcissists.
Finally go on the offensive.
I also have a free Facebook group that you
definitely wanna join.
Make sure you're doing that.
It's a support group.
I've got so many people in
there supporting each other.
Make sure you do that.
If you don't have access to support
and help and therapy.
I do have a partnership with betterhelp.
You can go to betterhelp.com/rebeccazung
and get access to the help
and support that you need.
We do receive commissions on
that doesn't cost you any extra.
I want you to have to help
and support and access to help that you need.
We only recommend services that we trust.
And remember that today is a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
This is the day.
Alright?
And I will see you in that next video.
Remember five terrifying ways that
narcissists manufacture chaos to beat you
and provoke you.
So thanks for joining me today,
and I'll see you in that next video.