I'm obsessed with...
You host,
and I think you're also involved in the production,
you're an executive of "FBOY Island".
And I know that Sona will never speak to me again
if I don't bring up "FBOY Island".
Yep. I love "FBOY Island".
You do?
We know it's short for...
Is it "fine boy island"?
It's fuck boy!
It's what?
You thought it was fine boy?
Well that's what my mother told me.
She's a big fan. (Nikki laughing)
"They're really fine boys!"
Some of them are.
I say it's short for "fragile boy".
Oh, very nice. Oh.
Because that's where it comes from.
Nice. Yeah.
Fearful.
So, how involved are you in choosing,
because it's how many women?
So it's three women who are looking for relationships,
looking for love, and then there are,
well we lost a couple this year,
there's supposed to be 15 and 15 we lost.
(group laughs) To a terrible disease.
We lost them to fire.
It is really hard to contain F boys, I gotta tell you.
When they're in Cabo, the PAs that we're hiring
to make sure that they don't get out
and get out into the community.
I mean they got out, (Sona laughs)
And so we lost a couple. (all laugh)
You make it sound like a lion preserve.
They're gonna kill me for saying this!
Let's clear about this, but how many boys is it?
It's 15. Jesus!
It's 15 and 15. So it's 30 boys.
15 are nice guys.
they say they're nice guys, There's no way to really check.
They've cast themselves as nice boys kind of.
Yeah. And we do check and make sure that
they're mama's boys, they've been in good relationships,
their ex-girlfriends don't have bad things
to say about them,
they're looking for a relationship.
And then there are guys that are there for the followers,
the clout, the money prize at the end,
if you get to the end and convince this girl
that despite being an F boy,
you are actually ready for a commitment.
You have a chance at a cash prize.
How many escaped?
They didn't "escape".
There were like two or three.
But they really did escape!
It'd be great if you were driving
and you just saw one run across the highway naked.
We did! No, really?
We'll let you tell the story.
I would be driving around Cabo and I would just go,
"Is that Garrett? What is Garrett doing out here?"
I go, "Garrett, get back to Beth or else!".
So there's at least 15 boys-
There were 15, but now on this show,
it's 13, I had to change the voiceover to
"There are 13 F boys and 13 nice guys.
But there were two more of each.
So they've just- You lost them.
Either for being boring, and they got cut,
or they literally went out and partied
and got hookers or something,
these guys really party-
Fuck boys gotta fuck, man. Fuck boys gotta fuck,
They're used to having multiple women a night.
You just basically said,
you called him in on the carpet and go,
"Excuse me, when we hired you, Fuck Boy...
(all laugh)
We didn't intend for you to be out fucking.
Now you signed here a document that says,
'I promise to be a good fuck boy.'
And you were out fucking and sucking!
(all laugh)
You don't really have a legal leg to-
"When we brought you to Cabo, to fuck,
we didn't think you'd go into Cabo and fuck!"
If anything, they have a legal case against you.
Yeah!
We put them up at a Holiday Inn or Express
next to Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo.
Oh yeah. Ohh...
It was calling to them.
We tried to put them a little bit more off campus,
but they kept breaking-
"Off campus". (laughs)
And getting out!
"Stay in the library! Finish your thesis!"
That's a huge part of these shows,
is keeping these reality stars contained.
(all laugh) Wow.
You know what I love?
It's so funny to me that
you've got basically 15 testosterone...
I'm sure, good looking, hot F boys.
They get loose... They get loose.
Wait, what if they blend with the population
and they have to introduce another type of like, fuck girl
to try to take down the fuck boy,
how they do snakes in the Amazon and things like that.
Like the natural ecosystem-
You are putting way too much thought into this.
That will be the spinoff serious.
This is why I'm not a fuck boy.
There's another reason...
(all laugh)
Is one I don't know of?
Well, you smoke a pipe, a corn cop pipe.
Affectations like that...
So I'm curious.
Yeah?
Do you think there really are people
that are looking for a real relationship?
No!
Exactly! Right?
Well, here's the thing.
And this is what I do believe about these shows,
and I begged for this hosting job,
I wanted it so bad because I've always watched these shows,
enjoyed them more than any other show.
And I really fall for it.
Like I do believe these people fall in love
and there's always a part of me that goes,
"Are they really?".
But they, they really are,
like these shows, when you're put into a bubble
where you have no, you have no cell phone,
you have no family or friends to talk to,
all you're doing is going on dates
and all you're doing is talking to the other guys
or the other girls that you're with
about the guys and the girls that you're interacting with.
And every interview you do with the producer is like
"So Ryan really likes you. How are you feeling about him?
I saw you light up when you talked-"
You quickly fall in love and it is not fake.
It really is a pressure cooker for deep love.
I mean, I see these people fall really really hard,
and it's real, and I feel it
and I get chills during elimination ceremonies, I tear up.
And I know it's called "FBOY Island".
I know how stupid this is, I saw the casting tapes.
These people leave the island devastated, or in love.
It really does happen.
I believe that. It's like a it's experiment in a way-
It's like a zoo!
When people say that reality shows are fake,
it bothers me because the scenarios are fake,
but the emotions, these people are not that good of actors.
It would be impossible. The emotions are real..
No one watches two pandas mate and is like,
"That's so fake!".
You know?
And it's like,
"No, well we put them there
and they're gonna mate eventually.
Well when the female panda has an orgasm, I'm like,
"No...". (all laugh)
"That panda is totally- Trust me!"
You can tell when a female panda's
really having an orgasm.
Yeah. Yeah.
(all laugh)
So, would you, and I know that you're a producer on this
and a host, and so you have clout,
would you consider at all letting me be one of the F-
Oh... Hold on, let me say it.
It's F boys and Conan.
So everyone knows it's me, I'm not playing anyone else.
But it's me as me.
I talked to my wife who will happily give me a a hall pass,
she wants me out of the house.
And I'm there, but I'm myself.
I'm totally myself.
You would kill. They would love you.
No, they wouldn't.
Honestly Conan, yes they would.
I have no...
When I take my shirt off, there's no six pack,
there's nothing like that.
It would be a jarring juxtaposition
to the men that we have. (all laugh raucously)
I'm not gonna deny you.
But you're so tall- That is so nice.
And you're, you're so famous.
You have a great head of hair,
you have a nice body, you would do fine.
And first of all, you're famous.
These guys, we have...
So on season two, we have a one person,
or a couple people that you recognize from season one.
And these girls, when they see a guy from season one,
I mean, it's like he's Brad Pitt.
You have such an advantage for being a little bit known,
so you'd kill.
But I would do a lot of what I would-
You're funny.
I would just say,
"And I'm Conan O'Brien".
And after that, I would just totally name drop,
I would try and just ride the fact that they knew who I was,
if they knew who I was.
Yeah, they would. But...
Can you fuck?
Yeah. Yeah.
Like can you really...
Well that's an issue.
You don't have to do that on the show.
That's gonna be a problem. That's gonna be a problem.
And not just because I'm I'm married and I love my wife.
There's another issue. It's a surgical problem.
Oh!
But there's a doctor in Prague who says he can fix it.
I bet there's one in Cabo too.
The one in Cabo isn't really a licensed doctor.
I've seen the work, it's fantastic.
You would be so fun on the show.
It does crack me up.
The idea of going down the long line of guys, and then me.
And I have no shirt on, and I'm my age with my coloring.
They'd love it.
And I'm just playing it totally like myself.
The funny guys kill.
Are you shirtless,
or do you have your long UV protection shirt on,
your bucket hat?
I think I would have the stuff I wear at the beach
that I've always said makes me look like Rose Kennedy.
(all laugh)
And I'd have the zinc oxide on the nose.
And the giant crazy sunglasses that block out side light.
So I've got that.
And then some kind of weird orthopedic shoe
that's also been built for the sand.
But why?
You know, for arch support.
Okay. (laughs)
But then the whole time, and I'm constantly
talking about the things that interest me.
Yes! What are you like on a date?
Yeah, I'd be talking about these weird historical facts
and I'd be talking about things that I find interesting,
like the Robert Carroll books on Lyndon Johnson.
And then every now and then I just turn to camera and say,
But I'm down to fuck".
(all laugh)
I would love...
And anytime I take them on a date,
I bring a large book with me.
Oh my God!
You should have your own spin off. "Fuck Boy Manor".
(all laugh)
"Welcome to "Fuck Boy Manor"."
"Is there much fucking around here?"
" Eh not really. We discourage that."
I want you on the next season.
I want you at an elimination ceremony.
I wanna call you down...
Conan, so you had a date with Mia this weekend.
Mhm, yes.
Did you have fun Mia?
She did. She had a great time with you zip lining.
How did, how did it go for you Conan?
How are you feeling about Mia right now?
I tore my rotator cuff.
My body weight, when I had to hang from the zip line-
See this is what turns me on.
I could hear it tear,
because I can't support my own body weight.
But thank God, Mia,
she managed to get me to the infirmary right away.
You guys seem to have a connection.
I fireman-carried him.
Yeah. Thank you, Mia.
You're welcome.
When you fireman-carried me to the emergency, and it was-
Tamara has reasons to doubt you though.
That your intentions with Mia might not be completely true.
Are you here as an F boy?
Yes. I'm not sure I understand...
(all laugh)
You gotta say no. You're trying to convince-
You gotta say no all along, you gotta lie.
But I want them to know that I can F if called to F.
(laughs) Said like a true F boy!
You can't even say that word-
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Let me make it quite plain.
That though, not an F boy in intent, if called to F,
oh, I shall F repeatedly!
And with great vigor!
I will F to the right, F to the left.
"Conan, why are you wearing a monocle?"
I have sight difficulties with my-
Stop pointing that cane at me!
(all laugh)
Conan, why are you wearing a 1920s straw boater hat?
(all laugh)