FOR EXAMPLE, MY NEXT GESES IS A COMEDIAN AND ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT AND MR. SHOW, PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO
THE LATE SHOW DAVID CROSS.
(APPLAUSE) HI.
>> HELLO, HOW ARE YOU.
>> Stephen: I'M DOING WELL, AND YOURSELF.
>> GOOD, I WANTED TO CONGRATULATE YOU, PRETTY
QUICKLY.
>> Stephen: ON.
>> ON, I'M SO RARELY UP IN THIS PART OF MANHATTAN AND NEW YORK
AND I WAS COMING UP THE SUBWAY HERE AND COMING OUT AND I SAW
THE BIG, YOU KNOW, MARQUEE, LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> AND JUST CONGRATS ON THAT, MAN, THAT'S GREAT.
>> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH, YEAH.
>> BECAUSE I-- YEAH, BECAUSE-- .
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YEAH, WE WANT TO LET
PEOPLE KNOW WHERE I WAS.
>> AND THAT IT IS OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL CAN BE-- OBVIOUSLY
OFFICIAL NOW T IS NOT-- THE FILLING IN TIME IS OVER TRK IS
OFFICIAL.
>> Stephen: FIRST THREE KREERS I WAS YUS PAPER MATCHIER, IT WAS
A PINATA, ACTUALLY.
>> OH, COOL, DID YOU EVER GET-- .
>> Stephen: JUST YESTERDAY WHEN NOMINATED FOR THE EMMYS, WE
WHEN WHACK, WHACK.
>> AND WHAT WAS IN THERE, CONGRATULATIONS.
>> Stephen: YEAH, RATS, IT IS NEW YORK.
>> CANDIES RATS.
AND I WANT TO CONDITION GRAT LATE THE AUDIENCE AS WELL.
>> Stephen: SURE, YEAH.
(APPLAUSE) >> YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: ALL OF HEESE PEOPLE ARE HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE
THEY WON AN ESSAY CONTEST.
I WAS REMINDED EARLIER THAT YOU AND I HAD DINNER ON THE LOWER
EAST SIDE, IT IT WAS CALLED FRANKS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND PROBABLY WAS LIKE PAUL SHALL DPSH ONE OF OUR
OTHER MUT EEL FRIENDS AND YOU REMEMBER THAT DINNER DIFFERENTLY
I WAS TOLD TODAY.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR REMEMBRANCE OF IT IS.
>> Stephen: ALMOST NONE.
>> WELL, I D AND I'M BEING SINCERE WHEN I SAY THIS, IT IS A
STORY THAT I AM TOLD OFTEN, ONE OF MY WIFE'S FAVORITE STORIES.
WE WERE OUT AT DINNER AND TELL ME IF YOU REMEMBER THIS.
>> Stephen: IT IS BEGINNING TO.
>> OKAY, SO WE WERE AT FRANKS ON SECOND AVENUE IN THE EAST
VILLAGE.
SO THEN I'M TALKING TO YOU.
AND THE WHOLE TIME ARE YOU LIKE THIS.
(LAUGHTER) AND I'M IT CONTINUING TO TALK,
CONTINUING TO TALK, AND IT IT TAKES ME A LITTLE WHILE TO
NOTICE.
AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT IS THE ABSOLUTE COMMITMENT TO THE BIT
WHICH I TOTALLY RESPECT FROM ANYBODY.
BUT IT WENT ON FOR AWHILE, TOOK ME A GOOD FEW MINUTES.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG ARE WE TALKING?
>> CLOSE TO SEVEN HOURS.
NO, IT WAS HONESTLY, IT WAS ENOUGH, IT WAS ENOUGH TIME TO
MAKE IT AWKWARD AND WEIRD.
AND IT WAS SEVERAL MINUTES.
BECAUSE I'M TALKING JIBBER JABER AND TELLING THIS STORY.
AND THEN, YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AT ME, JUST RIGHT OFF MY SHOULDER,
AND THEN IT FINALLY NOTICED AND I EVEN ADDRESSED IT, YOU DON'T
RESPOND, YOU DON'T BREAK, AND THEN EVENTUALLY I GO LIKE, THAT
AND THERE IS A GIANT PICTURE MIRROR OF, AND STEPHEN IS JUST
LOOKING AT HIMSELF LIKE-- AND IT WAS GREAT.
AND IT-- .
>> Stephen: I VAGUELY REMEMBER THAT.
MI GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT.
>> I DID ENJOY IT.
AND IT IS HONESTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> IT BECAME MORE, THE MORE SUCCESSFUL YOU GOT, THE MORE I
ENJOYED THE STORY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A NEW ALBUM, IT IS CALLED OH, COME ON.
OKAY.
>> YEAH.
(APPLAUSE) YEAH.
THIS IS THE RESULT OF THE TOUR THAT I WAS PLUGGING LAST TIME I
WAS ON THE SHOW.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND NOW THIS IS THE FIRST ALBUM YOU HAVE PUT OUT SINCE YOU HAD
YOUR FIRST CHILD, YOUR DAUGHTER.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID IT CHANGE THE WAY YOU DO COME KEY-- COMEDY OR
DID IT CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR SUBJECT MATTER OR ANYTHING?
>> YEAH, SURE, AND I SEE THE WORLD A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY NOW,
OR MORE OF A SENSE OF URGENCY TO WHAT I THINK IS IMPORTANT.
AND I MEAN IT IS NOT ALL DAD JOKES, JUST SO YOU KNOW.
THE SPECIAL, IT IS INTO THE-- .
>> Stephen: ARE THERE ANY DAD JOKES.
>> YEAH, ROUGHERLY A THIRD OF IT BUT, I THINK, BUT YEAH, BUT I
MEAN LIKE THINGS LIKE WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN AND I SAY
DAUGHTER, WE DON'T KNOW YET.
BUT-- YOU NEVER KNOW.
IT IS UP TO HER HIM THEY THEE, WHATEVER.
BUT YOU KNOW, YOU SAY THAT YOU HAVE A KID AND EVERYBODY IS LIKE
CONGRATULATIONS.
AND I'M-- THAT ALWAYS BOTHERED ME, EVEN BEFORE I HAD A KID.
I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO BE CONDITION GRAT LATED FOR YET.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN I BARELY HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
MY WIFE, HAD AN AFFAIR AND-- NO, NO, NO, NO NO.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT.
>> NO, IT'S LIKE WE DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S GOING TO TURN OUT YET.
YOU KNOW.
PARENTS, REALLY SMART, GOOD, DECENT PEOPLE, WELL-INTENTIONED,
YOU CAN BE AS WELL-INTENTIONED AS YOU WANT BUT YOU KNOW, THEY
COULD TURN OUT TO BE A BIT OF A BITCH, YOU KNOW.
SO AND YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO TRY, OBVIOUSLY.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO INTENTIONALLY RAISE A TSA AGENT BUT YOU NOAFER
KNOW WHAT WILL-- YOU NEVER KNOW.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
NERVE KNOW.
>> Stephen: IS THERE A SKETCH YOU WROTE ONCE THAT GODS AND DID
YOU IT AND ARE YOU LIKE WE CAN'T SHOW THAT TO PEOPLE T IS JUST
TOO DARK OR TOO STRANGE, WE CANNOT SHOW THAT.
>> THAT WE EVER SHOT, NO, NO, A SKETCH THAT WE SHOT THAT WE
NEVER GOT-- .
>> Stephen: YES, THAT YOU SHOT AND.
>> NO, NOT-- NOT THAT I KNOW OF, NO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
>> I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT, BUT IT KIND OF MY JOB TO ASK YOU
QUESTIONS THAT MAYBE PUTS YOU OFF BALANCE.
>> MAYBE YOU ARE A FAKE NEWS GUY.
YEAH.
>> MY CUP, MY CUP!
, MY CUB!
WHY HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CUP!
NO!
(APPLAUSE) WRNG OH, COME ON, IT IS
AVAILABLE NOW, DAVID CROSS, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY TOVE LO.