>> Stephen: I LIKE THE SUIT.
I LIKE THE SUIT A LOT >> THANK YOU.
A GREEN CORDUROY SUIT, WHY NOT.
>> Stephen: I COULD HEAR YOU COMING A BLOCK AWAY.
>> I SHOWED UP.
ABSOLUTELY, WIDE WAIL.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS REALLY NICE.
THAT IS FOR THE FALL.
>> YES, IT IS.
COME ON, IT'S AUTUMN GUYS.
IT'S FALL IN NEW YORK.
BREAK OUT THE SUITS AND SCARVES.
>> Stephen: AND THAT TIE.
>> I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.
THIS TIE IS CASHMERE.
>> Stephen: MAY I?
MAY I?
>> YOU CAN FONDLE MY TIE, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, YEAH!
>> Stephen: OH!
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT IS LIKE GETTING TO SECOND BASE WITH A
LLAMA.
>> OH, YEAH!
WHICH, I HAVE DONE!
>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> LISTEN, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY PAST.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE NOT, OF COURSE NOT, BUT THERE ARE
RUMORS.
WHAT I KNOW-- I DON'T REALLY KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR PAST.
I KNOW YOU'RE AN IMPROVISOR.
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELL KNOWN AS AN IMPROVISOR.
WHY DID YOU START TO IMPROVISE.
BACK IN THE DAY I IMPROVISED.
>> WE BOTH CAME UP IN IMPROV SCENES.
YOU IN SECOND CITY.
>> Stephen: BEFORE THAT IMPROV OLYMPICS.
>> I CAME UP IN THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE THEATER HERE IN
NEW YORK.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> AND FOR ME, I JUST LOVE THAT KIND OF FEELING OF ABSOLUTE
LIMITLESS POTENTIAL ON STAGE AND DISCOVERY AND AMASSING KIND OF
PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU DO AND ARE WILLING TO FOLLOW YOU
TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CULT.
( LAUGHTER )
>> HEAR ME OUT.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> HEAR ME OUT.
>> Stephen: IT CAN BE CULT-LIKE.
>> IT CAN BE CULT-LINING.
PEOPLE CAN GET INTO IT ON A CULT-LEVEL FASCINATION.
>> Stephen: THEY TRY TO FIND A GURU.
>> LISTEN, IF THEY'RE WILLING TO MURDER FOR ME, I CAN'T STOP
THEM.
( LAUGHTER )
TECHNICALLY YOU COULD.
>> LISTEN, I GO OUT.
I DO A GOOD SHOW, RIGHT?
TOTALLY IMPROVISED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAY.
IF I INSPIRE PEOPLE TO MURDER ON MY BEHALF, IT'S STILL JUST A
COMEDY SHOW.
( LAUGHTER )
PEOPLE IN YOUR AUDIENCE TO MURDER FOR ME BY THE END OF THE
NIGHT.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SURE.
ARE WE INSURED FOR THAT?
I'M SORRY, WE'RE NOT INSURED FOR THAT.
>> WE'RE NOT INSURED?
I WAS GOING TO SAY GET THE TRICK IS GET THE BALCONY TO REVOLT
AGAINST THE BOTTOM PEOPLE.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, THE BOTTOM PEOPLE --
>> RIGHT?
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND.
I LIKE THIS, THE BALCONY AND THE BOTTOM PEOPLE.
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ALREADY PICKED A SIDE.
>> YEAH!
COME ON!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHERE ARE AM I AT, BALCONY?
RISE UP!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> WHAT?
>> Stephen: NO, BECAUSE THE BOTTOM PEOPLE IT'S BOTTOM PEOPLE
NEED TO RISE UP BECAUSE THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE-- THEY HAVE
THE HIGH GROUND.
>> THESE ARE THE RICH PEOPLE.
THESE ARE THE RICH PEOPLE.
OVERTHROW THE RICH!
>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY.
OKAY.
YOU MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE DIFFERENT WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE
OLDER.
>> PERHAPS, PERHAPS.
WE'RE IN IT NOW, THOUGH.
>> Stephen: IF YOU WERE IN A CULT--
>> IF I WAS IN A CULT.
I WOULD NOT BE IN A CULT.
I WOULD BE LEADING THAT CULT.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN THE CULT
GIWOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN THE CULT.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN THE CULT.
>> REALLY.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE SOMEONE TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE.
>> THAT PERSON IS ME.
I HAVE AN UPDATE.
I'VE ALREADY GROWN THE BEARD.
HERE'S THE DEAL: TAKE OFF THIS SUIT THAT YOU ADMIRED EARLIER,
THROW A BURCH OF ROBES ON ME, HALF OF THESE PEOPLE WALK OUT
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "I'LL DO WHATEVER THIS GUY SAYS."
>> Stephen: THE FIRST THING I NEED TO DO IS SEE "THE LONG DUMB
ROAD."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: TELL US WHAT THE "THE LONG DUMB ROAD" IS.
>> "THE LONG DUMB ROAD" IS A MOVIE THAT IS OUT NOW THAT IS A
CLASSIC AMERICAN ROAD TRIP MOVIE ALARK "TRAINS, PLANES, AND
AUTOMOBILES," OR ANY OF THOSE KINDS OF MOVIES WHERE A
MISMATCHED PAIR OF PEOPLE TAKE A LONG TRIP.
IN THIS CASE, IT'S TONY LAVALORI.
HE IS GOING TO DRIVE TO COLLEGE.
HE PICKS UP A DRIFTER ALONG THE WAY.
IF YOU CAN IMAGINE, I PLAY THAT DRIFTER.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
>> I'M UNKEMPT, OUTRAGEOUS, BUT VERY CHARISMATIC.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP OF YOU GUYS IN THE CAR.
>> WE HAVE A CLIP?
LET'S GO TO THE CLIP.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE IN THE CAR, AND DO YOU NEED TO SET THIS UP?
YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT MOVIES.
>> I THINK THIS IS THE CLIP WHERE I SHOW MY FULL PENIS.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
TURN UP THE VOLUME ON YOUR SET AND GO.
>> YES.
>> OKAY, HERE'S ONE.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
>> "THE GRADUATE."
>> REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> NEVER SEEN IT.
"THE GRADUATE."
>> DUSTIN HOFFMAN.
>> I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
>> "FAST AND FURIOUS, TOKYO DRIFT."
>> REALLY?
>> YEAH, THAT MOVIE IS CRAZY LIKE IT'S ABOUT THESE GUYS AND
THEY RACE ALL THESE CARS, AND THEY DRIFT CARS.
>> I MEAN, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE ALL RIGHT THOSE MOVIES TO BE HONEST.
>> "FAST AND FURIOUS ONE AND TWO?"
(BLEEP) OF THE BEST MOVIES I'VE EVER SEEN.
>> THEY LOST THEIR STEAM BY THE TIME THEY GOT TO, LIKE, SIX.
I THINK THEY'RE ON EIGHT NOW.
>> WAIT, THERE ARE MORE OF THOSE (BLEEP) MOVIES?
>> YEAH, THERE'S LIKE EIGHT MORE.
>> ARE YOU (BLEEP)?
OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S (BLEEP) AMAZING!
( APPLAUSE )
SCENE IMPROVISED?
>> THAT SCENE WAS IMPROVISED.
>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU PICK "FAST AND FURIOUS?"
>> HERE'S THE DEAL, "A," I LOVE THOSE MOVIES.
UNABARBEDLY, I THINK THEY ARE TERRIFIC.
HERE IS A SERIES OF MOVIES THAT BEGAN ABOUT A GROUP OF STREET
RACERS TRYING TO SELL COMBINATION TV-DVD PLAYERS.
AND NOW, IN THE LAST ONE, THEY RACED AGAINST A SUBMARINE, AND,
STEPHEN, THE ROCK PICKED UP A TORPEDO AND THREW IT!
( LAUGHTER )
THE AVENGERS.
IT'S STRAIGHT CRAZY THESE MOVIES.
ALSO, WE HAD TO BECAUSE THE STUDIOS TRYING TO MARKET THOSE
MOVIES AND THE BEST WAY THEY TOLD US TO MARKET THE BIG BLOC
BUSTERS IS AN INDEPENDENT FILM.
THAT'S THE DEAL.
>> Stephen: THE WHOLE THING IS JUST A PROMO FOR THE "FAST AND
FURIOUS.
OF.
>> "THE LONG DUMB ROAD" IN THEATERS NOW IS A COMMERCIAL FOR
"FAST AND FURIOUS."
THERE WILL BE EIGHT "THE LONG DUMB ROADS" NOW.
>> OH, MY GOD.
PLEASE GO SEE THE MOVIE SO WE CAN MAKE MORE.
>> Stephen: "LONGER AND DUMBER" WILL BE THE NEXT ONE.
>> MUCH DUMBER.
>> Stephen: JASON, NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: "THE LONG DUMB ROAD" IS IN THEATERS AND AVAILABLE ON
DEMAND THIS FRIDAY.
JASON MANTZOUKAS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN DEMETRI MARTIN.