AS YOU ALL KNOW FATHER'S DAY IS COMING UP.
HERE IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT A DAD WHO WHEN HE FOUND OUT.
>> JAMES, JAMES, SPEAKING OF FATHER'S DAY.
>> James: LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO DOT MONOLOGUE.
>> YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOU AS A SON.
>> James: CAN YOU SIT DOWN, WE'VE GOT TO CARRY ON WITH THE
SHOW.
>> OH, I SEE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR OLD DAD, HEY?
TOO BUSY WITH YOUR BIG FANCY SHOW.
YEAH, I GET IT.
>> James: ARE YOU ON DRUGS, YOU ARE NOT MY DAD.
>> NO, NOT BUY LOGICALLY BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT I'M
SOMETHING OF A MENTOR TO YOU.
>> James: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> A WISER, OLDER GENTLEMAN, YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN TO.
>> James: YOU'RE FOUR MONTHS OLDER THAN ME.
>> I'M TOUGH BUT FAIR, I TELL YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR.
AND I HEAR WHAT YOU NEED TO TELL.
>> James: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.
LOUIS, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED, SON.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME IF YOU WANT TO TALK, I DON'T
KNOW, CONFUSING CHANGES TO YOUR BODY, OR GIRLS, EH, WOTNOT,
REMEMBER JAMES, BE SAFE.
YOU WANT ONE?
THEY'RE EXTRA THICK.
>> James: NO, THIS IS-- LOUIS, I DO NOT WANT A CONDOM, YOU CAN
PUT THEM AWAY.
THIS IS REALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
>> HEY JAMES, CATCH.
>> James: WHAT THE HELL LAM.
>> HOW ABOUT SOME BASEBALL WITH YOUR OLD MAN, HEY?
COME ON, SHOW ME THAT RUBBER ARM, SOUTH PAW.
>> James: LOUIS, LOUIS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT-- YOU ARE A DEAR
FRIEND, OKAY, WE WORK TOGETHER, A DECISION I OFTEN QUESTION.
BUT YOU HAVE GOT YOUR OWN KIDS.
YOU'RE NOT MY DAD.
YOU.
>> YOU DONE HAVE TO CALL ME DADK I'M FLEXIBLE.
HOW ABOUT FATHER, OLD MAN, PATTER, PEE PAW, DADDY KIN,
DADDY YANKEE.
>> James: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
>> DADDY WAR BUCKS, DADIMIR PUTIN.
>> James: STOP IT, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.
>> SOMEBODY WANTS A TICKLE.
>> James: NO, I DO NOT WANT A TICKLE.
>> OF COURSE YOU WANT A TICKLE SON, I YOU LOVE A TICKLE.
>> James: I AM NOT YOUR SON, YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER, YOU NEVER
WILL BE.
>> OH, I SEE, IT'S LIKE THAT, IS IT, AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE.
WELL, TELL ME SOMETHING, JAMES, IF I'M NOT YOUR DAD, WHO IS.
>> James: MY ACTUAL DAD IS, MY ACTUAL-- I WILL CALL HIM RIGHT
NOW.
I AM GOING TO CALL HIM RIGHT NOW AND PUT THIS WHOLE THING TO BED.
>> GO AHEAD, ARE YOU 126 NOW, YOU THINK YOU KNOW
EVERYTHING-- 16 NOW.
>> HEY, JAMES,S WHAT HE UP.
>> James: HEY, DAD, LISTEN, YOU KNOW LOUIS, RIGHT, FROM THE
SHOW, YEAH, OKAY THERE IS GOING TO SOUND ABSOLUTELY INSANE.
BUT LOUIS IS SAYING THAT HE IS MY DAD.
SO YOU CAN JUST EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT OBVIOUSLY THAT ISN'T TRUE.
YOU ARE MY DAD.
>> YEAH, LISTEN, ABOUT THAT, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO
YOU.
I HAVE ACTUALLY DECIDED TO TAKE A STEP BACK.
>> James: WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU MEAN TAKE A STEP BACK.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, WITH YOU BEING IN AMERICA, THE TIME
DIFFERENCE AND EVERYTHING, IT'S ALL SO VERY COMPLICATED.
SO I HAVE HAD A CHAT WITH LOUIS AND HE HAS AGREED TO STEP INTO
MY SHOES FOR A BIT SWRZ WHAT?
>> I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU, SON, BUT YOU CAN CAN GET THROUGH
THIS TOGETHER.
>> GREAT PARENTING, LOUIS.
>> SEE, HE'S TOTALLY GOT IT.
>> James: NO, HE HAS NOT GOT THIS, HE HAS NOT GOT-- CAN I PUT
MUM ON PLEASE.
>> YEAH, IF YOU INSIST.
>> James: I DO INSIST.
>> I WILL PATCH HER IN.
>> James: OKAY, THANK YOU.
>> HELLO, SON.
>> James: DISCUSS AN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING3THERE?
WHERE IS MY MUM.
>> YEAH, THE THING IS MARGARET DECIDED TO TAKE A STEP BACK.
I AM YOUR MOM NOW.
>> James: OKAY, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
TELL ME THAT THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
>> COME ON.
CHEER UP, CUDDLE BEAR.
MUMMEE HAS MADE YOUR FAVORITE COOKIE.
>> James: YOU TWO ARE MANIACS, ARE YOU NOT MY PARENTS, CAN WE
JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL.
>> HONEY.
>> James: CAN WE GO TO COMMERCIAL.
>> BRING IT IN FOR THE REAL THING, DADDY'S HERE.
>> James: DO NOT TOUCH ME.
BACK OFF, SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT WANT A TIBLG, GO TO COMMERCIAL,
MUM, DAD, MUM.
[BLEEP] >> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, OKAY.